(Closed) I need to VENT! FILs from hell!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Talk to your Fiance about these people…I think it’d be best to just cut all ties. They sound godawful and fill your life with their stupid drama, which is not worth it. Passive-aggressive bastards make me angry, sorry.

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Does your Fiance see all that they do? Can he intervene on your behalf? I would have a serious talk with him about all that is happning between you (him as well) and his family.

If you are really close with FI’s other brother, maybe discuss with him too. If two of their 3 sonds try to talk to them about this situation, maybe they’ll see the light. If not, I think it is best to distance yourself from them. Don’t give in to any more of their threats.

Fiance should help you try and handle this, and understand if you don’t want to deal with his family any more.

Post # 6
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You have every single right to be justified! It sounds horrible and is terribly manipulative, through and through.  At this point, especially regarding the Thanksgiving dinner thing, I’d ask your Fiance to choose: Dinner with you and your Mom (still have her come out – DO NOT let the Mother-In-Law cut you off from YOUR family) for Thanksgiving, or he can go alone and STAY there for a little bit.

It’s one dinner – he needs to realize that his mother is still controlling his life too by being nasty to you.

I’m sorry to hear that, btw.  I hope that once you two are married you both get jobs on the other side of the country and move far, far away from her. 

 

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@mrs.peters.to.be: I will say that you have done your part and now the ball is in FIs court. It is HIS responsibility to make sure that his family treats you well.

Have your mother come up as planned and you and your Fiance and your mom can celebrate Thanksgiving dinner together. Your Fiance will just have to see his family another time. Now is the time that you and your Fiance need to start making “traditions” of your own. He can’t make plans without consulting you first, especially after you have already agreed on plans, and just expect you to go along with it. The two of you need to present a united front to his family, and now is a good time to start. You want to set the tone now or else you will have a lot of messiness in your future.

Post # 8
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh my.  You poor thing.  This just stinks.  In all honesty, it sounds like they are VERY controling and not used to having someone, not blood related, making some of the calls. 

You certainly did the right thing about the little brother.  And the fact that he still owes you money?  Urgh.  I’d be all over your Future In-Laws for that rent money btw.

As for Thanksgiving…would your Fiance be upset if you did just what you stated?  Still have your mom come up, still prepare the fixin’s (w/a lot of leftover turkey!) and be at home with your pets.  This would be a great time to have quality time with your mom…just you and her.  And if you Future In-Laws give a rant about this, just explain about the puppy and boarding.  You can’t simply board a puppy with the risk of him/her getting a disease at only 8 mos old. ;o) 

Post # 9
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree whole heartedly with @JamaicaBride. Your Fiance is making/changing plans on you, and he’s also not sticking up for you. If this keeps up, he is going to have to choose between his mother and you because she’s going to make him. I genuinely hope that he’ll pick you when that happens.

Post # 11
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

So you and your Fiance heading to your Mom’s with your pup is also out of the question? 
At this point it could be money well spent to have your Mom still come up.

Post # 13
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

What about not going at all.  Is your Fiance hellbent on going? 

Post # 14
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I really feel bad for you and just want to give you a big HUG!!!!!  There has to be a solution.

Post # 15
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Your Fiance is making/changing plans on you, and he’s also not sticking up for you. If this keeps up, he is going to have to choose between his mother and you because she’s going to make him. I genuinely hope that he’ll pick you when that happens.

Your Fiance just saying okay without checking with you first KNOWING how much trouble you have gone though is just plain wrong.

I quoted what MissHelen wrote above because even though my Darling Husband sticks up for me, he was handed an ultimatum this weekend.  Your Fiance has GOT to stand up for you.  I know this is rough to hear but RUN if he won’t.  If he cannot stick up for you now, he never will.  Putting a ring on it doesn’t make him change.  Get this figured out NOW.

Post # 16
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am so sorry you have to deal with this! Your fiance should pick you over his parents. Essentially it’s your marriage. And in this case, they changed the plans and basically said they couldn’t/wouldn’t come. Have a nice thanksgiving meal with your mom and fiancee. The inlaws will have to learn that they can’t control you. And if fiance can’t stand up for you then maybe he needs an awakening.

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