(Closed) I need to vent……….

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee

We were together for 7 years and 4 months when he popped the question (I was 28 and he was 27…now I’m 29 and he’s 28).  I nearly lost my patience towards the end of the wait (er, maybe I did lose my patience a few times)….but he did it in his own time, when it felt right.  We got married a few weeks ago…it was absolutely awesome and well worth the wait : )

Everyone does things differently.  My best advice is to focus on the good in your relationship and enjoy each other.  As long as you are both on *nearly* the same page in terms of timing, I wouldn’t worry about it.  It will happen as soon as you stop worrying about it!

 

Post # 18
Member
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

First off Welcome to the Hive!! You’re going to love it here!! Secondly, Lol everyone has given you brilliant advice, as you can see from my post about my dear M’s statements, I have no idea what goes on in guy’s minds.  But if he says you’ll be engaged within the year, I’d probably give him the year, or let him know that if you aren’t engaged by December 31, 2010, maybe it’s time to explore the future of your relationship, perhaps you are meant to be friends and you’re okay with that.  By The Way that’s my relationship exploration date and um if things don’t happen in the right way by then we’ll both either be celebrating our engagements together or our friendships, either way there will be a lot of wine and champagne involved.  ((HUGS))

Post # 19
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I was together with my Fiance for 4.5 years before he popped the question.  I had given up on it and figured we were going to live like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell…  And I think the fact that I didn’t push him, made it easier for him to do it on his own time.   And mine is like yours, if I pushed he would have pushed back harder just to do it….  I can’t make him do anything, it has to be his idea.  So I let him figure it out.. and he did.  I mentioned that while I don’t need a binding contract to stay with him, I would like some form of commitment.  

Now I realize I am different as I don’t need to be married.  I am happy the way we are, and plus I like my last name better then his (LOL) but I am also 33 and am secure in who I am and where we are in life.  I plan on having kids in a few years, even if we weren’t married.  

So my advice to you is to decide if being married is all that important, or if being with him is?  And if it is being with him, then just enjoy your life, count everything you have as a blessing and screw the people who don’t agree with how you live your life…  

and always order a bottle when a glass will do, as 5 drinks is way more fun then 1!! 

Smiles!

 

Post # 20
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

*hugs hugs*

Go get that glass of wine … and slip away from the world for a little!

Post # 21
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

and please have several drinks for me!

Post # 23
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

awww lolaj! i’m glad your feeling better. it’s so funny how in a couple days, it seems like everything is starting to look up – well at least a little bit. good luck with your quest to keep quiet, but as i always say, you can use those moments of happy/sad when other pple get engaged/married/have babies for some positive reinforcement 🙂

Post # 24
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Hey lolaj I see you were going through your breakdown about 2 weeks ago. Hope you are feeling better but here is an idea. If you know he is proposing sometime next year how about you start pre planning your wedding. You are going to be thinking about it regardless so maybe it is more productive to spend hours online online looking at dresses than hours fighting with the BF. And by the time he does propose you will be extra prepared lol

Post # 25
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think maybe we’re just slow, but we were together well over 4 years, and I proposed to him. It was fun and magical and happened because I finally said to myself, “what the heck am I waiting for?” Any chance you could just pop the question to him?

Post # 26
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

An ultimatum?  Do you want to a wedding or do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?  Sounds like you can’t have one without the other, and that might not be a good thing here. 

We’re no kids here – I’m 32 and we’ve been together 7 years.  No one ever wants to hear it – me included, but when the time is right, the time is right. You want him to ask when he’s ready, and that way you’ll know he’s REALLY ready.  Maybe he’s saving up cash, maybe he’s waiting for your own ‘Time.’  That was what my wait was for.  My sister got married a few years ago, then his brother did – both were big deals.  Then babies came, and it was always someone else’s thunder.  Don’t get me wrong – I was waiting for it….but it was the BIGGEST surprise and that made it awesome.

After he proposed he apologized for taking so long, but he wanted our own time.  

That makes the waiting worth it.  Trust me.  I wouldn’t have wanted it any differently. Would you really leave him if he didn’t propose?  Make sure you know what is important.

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