(Closed) Never Mind Thank you

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think you need to calmly explain to her why this picture is important to you. Maybe it is disrespectful in her culture and if that is the case, have her explain why and if there is anyway to make it respectable to her.

Post # 4
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would just tell your dad that its what you really want and just make it quick when doing photos on the day of. Its usually pretty hectic when the photographer is trying to get all of the group photos and she surely wouldnt make a huge fuss and like tackle the photographer or anything. lol She may not like it but it will be quick and she will eventually get over it.

Post # 6
Member
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

Sweetheart… I mean this in the nicest way possible … But you need a journal or diary to sort out some of these feelings. This is your second post on this topic in less than an hour, and I think you really need to stop focusing on this and step away from the Bee, FB, text conversations and whatever else is fueling your emotions at this point and take a breather. 

Post # 7
Member
9672 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@alishaloo:   Will you please try to look at this from another point of view?  You are a grown woman with divorced parents.  Why not get a picture with your dad, either alone with him or with him and his new wife.  And then get another picture of you and your mother.  Since your parents are divorced can you understand this and let this one thing go? 

I understand you may want a picture of you with both of your parents, but they’re no longer together as a couple. 

It may be that your dad does not want to do this, either, and is backing up his wife’s decision not to capture his ex’s (your mom) image with you as a “family.”  Because they aren’t related to each other any more – but a picture of the three of you together would portray that they are.

Post # 8
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just a note, “Asian” is not a culture.  Asia includes many, many countries and they do not all have the same culture.

Post # 11
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Sunfire:  “Will you please try to look at this from another point of view?  You are a grown woman with divorced parents.  Why not get a picture with your dad, either alone with him or with him and his new wife.  And then get another picture of you and your mother.  Since your parents are divorced can you understand this and let this one thing go?”

I totally agree.  Let it go, respect your father’s wishes, and move on.

I also want to add – my father is married to someone that I don’t like very much.  But as an adult, I respect my father and his marriage and would never talk about her so disrespectfully as you do.  Just something to remember – this woman is a person, too, and it sounds like you don’t know her very well.

Post # 13
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@alishaloo:  it’s not appropriate to call someone “oriental.”

Post # 15
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@alishaloo:  oriental is used to describe objects, like a rug.  It’s considered offensive to use that term for a person.  Asian is fine, though I’m surprised you don’t know the actual background of your dad’s wife?  

Post # 16
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@alishaloo:  Oh my goodness, sorry I can’t let this slip by: Oriental is an EXTEMELY derogatory term.  It’s fine to call her Asian American if you don’t know her heritage.

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