(Closed) I need your honest feedback brides

posted 5 years ago in Career
  • poll: Would you hire a wedding coach to prevent/combat wedding stress?
    Yes. I see the value in having a coach : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Maybe. And I'll explain : (4 votes)
    11 %
    Nope. And I'll explain : (30 votes)
    81 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    No.  Planning a wedding is just logistics.  If people are stressed out by their family or whatever, then a wedding is just an auxiliary symptom.

    Please don’t pile onto the wedding industrial complex by “identifying” another (fake) “need” to make more brides part with their hard-earned money.

    Post # 4
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’m sorry, but I have to agree with ElbieKay.  If someone is in a position where they actually need some sort of counselor / therapist to deal with stress, they need more than just a temporary “wedding” counselor.  For typical short-term “OMG I can’t decide what flowers to use!” or “My family wants to invite too many people and I don’t know what to do!” situations, I think most people talk to their friends or family (or Weddingbee 🙂 ).

    Post # 6
    Member
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Sorry, I don’t see much value in a service like this. All my wedding stress (and a lot of the stress I see on Weddingbee) is related to money and family expectations. Adding another expense to an already expensive endeavor is not going to solve any of my problems.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9649 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    @ElbieKay:  +1.

    Another expense that is not really, in my opinion, needed.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2206 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I tend to agree… If people need help planning and deciding things for their wedding then they need a wedding planner/ coordinator. If they need help managing stress and having a happy relationship they need some sort of therapy.

     

    Also seems like those people who would have the cash for something like this would be better served by going to one of those two people (someone who does the planning or someone who helps your relationship) instead of someone who is sort of in the middle

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No – what I would (and did) pay for is pre-engagement/pre-marital counseling from a licensed therapist. I do think there is a big gap in the market for pre-engagement counseling – helping people think through if they should be married, how to prepare to have a successful marriage, how to work through conflict together, etc. People put a lot more work into planning the wedding than tactical relationship skills for the marriage. I wanted to do our pre-marital prep BEFORE we get engaged so it was easier to be rational and back out if we decided this wasn’t a good fit. We did 6 sessions with a counselor at a regular therapist’s office, paid for by his employee assistance plan.

    As to your questions, my biggest source of stress is an even tie between dealing with an uncooperative vendor and dealing with divorced/remarried parents who aren’t on good terms. 

    How do I cope? With the vendor, I have enlisted the help of my day-of coordinator. With the family, just same old crap I’ve been dealing with for 10+ years, speaking directly to the family members about my expectations for their behavior and making sure any potentially dramatic issues (seating, who is walking me down the aisle) are discussed well in advance.

    I would pay a real, licensed counselor to help me with strategies to cope with the realities of a divorced family, if I needed it (being assertive, boundaries, communication), but not specifically with wedding stress.

    Hope this helps. I always want to encourage small business, I think you need to refine what value you would bring to a client. I don’t see a lot of demand for it the way you described it now.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2206 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @NAvery:  good comments…. I do think that a non-denominational pre-wedding session would be nice. We are not getting married by any church and its been hard to find someone to do some session with us.

    Post # 13
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wouldn’t have paid, because we had access to free marriage preparation through our church, which really helped us to see past the wedding to the marriage.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper

    My biggest frustration is how much we’re “supposed” to spend and how it culturally has become a big, monetized production, and very removed from the very intimate, poignant moment I always thought it to be.

    My Fiance helps because he is such a free spirit. He doesn’t care at all about the “supposed-tas.” He also has great and sophisticated taste. So he is working with me create our wedding, “our way.”

    As for the actual marriage, we have been together for 5 years (living together for most of it) and I’m quite sure about my decison re: him, so I am not nervous about our marriage… just excited for it.

    Since all the extra “frills” in magazines and the like are actually what frustrate me, something like this would be the opposite of what I would want. It is yet another layer I do not have a need or want for. I do strongly believe in couples’ therapy if warranted but I see no reason why a wedding would warrant it. If so, that suggests to me the couple is rushing the wedding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @littlemisshostess:  So true about the non-denominational thing. We are not religiousE Everyone is always like “pre-marital counseling is soooooo important” but there aren’t a ton of resources out there if you aren’t getting married at a church. Especially if you don’t live in a major metro area.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013
     

    1. What are your biggest frustrations as a bride? 
    Dealing with my mother. I’m an only child so she is super involved in the wedding and rather than being the type of mom that is happy if I’m happy, she gets annoyed if I plan or pick something out that she doesn’t like.

     

    2. How do you cope/deal with these frustrations? Friends? Fiancé? Others?

    Vent to my Fiance. Just deal with it, lol. Sometimes give in, but not often. She usually will get over the issue and move on after a few days.

     

    3. Would you ever pay a counselor or coach to help you prevent or cope with wedding/pre-marital stress? If so, how much would you be willing to pay?

    No, never. If I need a counselor for the stress of getting married/planning a wedding then something is wrong. The only thing that would stress me out that much is if I were having problems with Fiance and was unsure if we should even be having the wedding. If this was the case I still wouldn’t speak to a wedding counselor or coach Undecided. Plus think about it – we’re about to spend $1,000s on a wedding & honeymoon and for a lot of people they will also be purchasing a house after marriage. There is no spare money for a coach, lol. If any other stresses were that overwhelming I’d be more likely to elope than speak to a counselorRead more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-need-your-honest-feedback-brides#ixzz2NW52fRzS

     
    I’m not sure why this above link is posting. I had copied & pasted your questions and it just came along with it and won’t let me delete..

    The topic ‘I need your honest feedback brides’ is closed to new replies.

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