(Closed) I need your opinion.. :( (long story…)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

While I don’t think it’s right he said mean things to you; I don’t feel you should be angry at him for not helping. I’m sorry but I’ve been in his shoes. I had bad credit and helped a former SO with something similar and got screwed in the end. I don’t feel anyone should be opening credit cards for anyone else unless your married. I know may some may disagree but I’ve lived this and payed for it. Your financial woes at the moment are not his issue especially since he’s trying  to rebuild his own. 

Post # 4
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@eeerika22:  Yikes, honey. Do you still have the old, trashed computer? I think that maybe you could get a better deal taking it to someone to clean it up, rather than buying an entirely new machine right now. There’s a lot of inflated cost on new machines, as opposed to purchasing parts. That might be a slightly cheaper option for you in the short-term as you save up.

But the big issue is you and and your SO…how you fight and your money issues. Is this an unusual way for fights to go, or do they often get mean quickly? You guys may want to see someone to work through your communication issues — and definitely the money stuff. I can see that he has trust issues because of his past and your past — but if you two are going to be together, you need to work on those with a solid savings plan, etc — both so that he can build trust in you and so that you guys can keep building credit and respect for each other.

Good luck. I know that life SUCKS when you’re this close to the line financially. None of the above is meant as criticism, just some helpful hints. I’m proud of you for working so hard to get back to school!

Post # 5
Member
46411 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think he was wrong if he said things that were mean spirited, but he can’t be held responsible if your feelings were hurt by the truth.

I don’t believe he needs to jeopardize his credit rating for you. You knew this was your plan. You have had time to save up. No one needs the world’s fanciest computer for university. It might have been  poor judgement to use your computer money for his birthday gift.

Can you get a second job? There are always service jobs available- serving at banquets etc. It won’t take long to save up a few hundred dollars.

Post # 6
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t blame him.  You need to build your credit on your own and he’s right that it will look bad on him when he’s trying to buy other things in the future.  

I mean this in a nice and gentle way, but I think you need to learn to manage your money.  Spending your money on his birthday present wasn’t a good idea if you’re going to resent him for it.  Libraries have free computers, if you work at the school you can use some of theirs, or maybe he would let you borrow his for a little bit of time a week.  (I’d schedule the time in advance and only for an hour or so, because I can quickly see that being a potential problem because it sounds like you both need to work on your resent/communication regarding money and material goods.) 

Can you get another job just to pay off your debt? 

Post # 7
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissGreen:  I agree. I have also been in this situation with a now ex-husband. I am trying to get the rest of the bad stuff off of my credit before we marry so that my Fiance doesn’t have to pay for it when we get married in October.

You could always start school and use the public library computers until your financial aid arrives for you to buy a computer or you could go to Rent a Center or Aaron’s and get one where you make weekly/monthly payments.  

Post # 8
Member
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont know how he was mean to you and made you cry for hours, but that is totally wrong.  You guys need to hash out what he was mean to you about and talk about a better way for him to express himself and his feelings to you other than just being a major ass.

As far as signing and helping you get a computer, I know you’ve been together 3 years, and you may feel that he should help you, but I’m sorry, I dont think I would either.  I would not put my credit on the line for someone like that, especially if I once had bad credit and doing everythign in my powers not to damange it again.  He is also right, that it could count against him if he has this open and needs to buy a car, and you definitely dont want to be punished for having this line of credit open and having to pay a higher rate on a big puchase like a car.

I’m not sure what you mean by he trashed your old computer.  If it still runs, it can be saved.  Just have someone wipe the hard drive and do a fresh install of the OS.  How old is it?  What brand?  There may even be a recovery partition on it.  A clean OS and maybe upgraded ram (this is cheap, less than 50) and it should be good as new.  If you are buying a new comptuer, what is your budget?  There are tons of latop that would be sufficient for school for 200-300.  Is that in your budget? 

Post # 12
Member
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@eeerika22:  Seriously, if you’re tight on money, dont dismiss your old computer and just say its better to buy a new one.  My laptop from 2004 is still running great!  If it’s already trashed in your mind, then there’s no harm trying to fix it.. maybe even on your own.  If you can share you year/brand/model, I’m pretty sure we can find a way for you to try to fix it without paying anyone to do it. 

Post # 13
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@eeerika22:   This may sound harsh but if you’re spending your money on entertaining his brother instead of your education, that’s on you. I’d get my priorities in order (his brother visiting, his bday present, etc.).

Post # 14
Member
46411 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@eeerika22:  I think you need to make a priority list. Here you are with money saved and you are choosing it to do things when his brother is visiting. Let your SO and his brother go on outings by themselves and put your money towards a new computer.

You can get a perfectly serviceable laptop for $200-$300 . If your SO is buying programs for his computer, i am sure he would let you install them on yours, so there will be some cost savings there.

The topic ‘I need your opinion.. :( (long story…)’ is closed to new replies.

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