(Closed) "I never loved you"

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

He’s cruel and oh so toxic. Don’t open that door again! The dogs are dogs. Pets. Lovely little critters who adore you. But they are pets. This creep has emotionally tormented you. Your pets do not need joint custody. Don’t allow him back in to continue to salt the wounds. No one ever deserves to be put down and made to feel less than. You gotta look out for #1. Trust me, if you don’t…no one else will. Self care is a priority, especially when your self worth has been trampled out of you. keep yourself and the dogs away from that psycho!

Post # 18
Member
3467 posts
Sugar bee

He did you a favor by breaking up with you. Now it’s time to do yourself a favor and focus on getting your self esteem back. 

Post # 19
Member
4249 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It’s hard to see now but HE is the one this reflects poorly on.  Sure this relationship wasn’t “successful” as you wanted it to be, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t grow through this.  You grew through this break up.  You grew through this relationship.

Take your dogs (I get it, I’m a crazy cat/pet lady and would never give up my cats for ANYTHING), and cut contact with him entirely.  You will be better off for it, trust me!

Post # 20
Member
47209 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t believe him. He did love you. He just has a list of other character faults that is so  long that he cannot even see, much less take responsibility for, his actions. He doesn’t know how to be in a relationship, much less express love.

Saying “I never loved you” is a conscious choice by a low life who wants to hurt you.

As the pp has said, cut off all contact with him. It is not your job to ensure his happiness by arranging time with the dogs.

Post # 22
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Did you guys discuss beforehand who would take the newest dog if you guys seperated? Or is the dog under your name? Whoever’s name it’s under, whoever takes most care of the dog, that is who the dog should stay with. And then never contact this lump again.

Post # 23
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I think it’s likely he can’t love anyone.  A person with a normal conscience, sense of decency, some semblance of a good heart, would not treat another person like that for such an extended period of time.  We all slip up once in a while and can be less than kind, but can you ever see yourself treating another person like he treated you?  My guess is NO.  I’m sorry, I know that what he said really hurts, but it’s just another opportunity for you to see the writing on the wall.  Sometimes it takes us a while to learn our lesson.  I’ve been a slow learner in some past relationships, so no judgement here.  Just take care of you and your dogs, and leave him the hell alone.  Don’t call him, don’t let him visit them.  Live your life and be glad you got out when you did.

Post # 24
Member
4983 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Thank goodness you’ve gotten this guy out of your life.

A man should be your shelter, your shoulder to cry on, your rock.  

Make a promise to yourself that you will NEVER let a guy treat you badly again or talk down to you. 

When you’re engaged to the man of your dreams,  the person that makes life worth living together and who makes you glow you will realize that everything happens for a reason. You will appreciate him that much more.

Post # 25
Member
910 posts
Busy bee

He said it control you, the same way he controlled you when you were in a relationship. He controls you by hurting you and making you feel like s**t. It worked. Don’t give him any power, cut him off. 

Post # 26
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

He said these words to hurt you as he knows you are better than him and you will soon find someone who will really love you and he will stay alone with his mentally ill brain not even standing himself.

Post # 27
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

He sounds very insecure and said some stupid things to try and hurt you. one day you will find someone who loves you for you and it will just click. I hope the heart ache ends soon.

Post # 28
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

virtuevictorious:  My ex still see’s himself as this huge victim in a terrible relationship I apparently put him through. All of his selfishness and craziness never happened in his mind and I just “didn’t try hard enough” to save our relationship (i.e. do everything he wanted, and be a completely different person for him) oh, and also apparently our couples counselor broke us up. *rolls eyes*

I have learned that as grossly unfair, unrealistic and ungrounded as it is: He is NEVER ever going to take responsibility for the emotional stuff he put me through. So I won’t even try. He has a narcisstic personality and that has a lot to do with his take on things. So I take care of my responsibilty for myself.

When he gets on his emotional high horse (I still have to work with him!   ) I just remember that  manipulative people never think they are manipulating whereas people being manipulating doubt and question their experience. This helps me to remember that he is just a jerk with issues. I am fine. I won’t get that closure / apology, never will and I thank my lucky stars I am no longer with him. 

oh, and I do this on the inside:

http://i.giphy.com/Fml0fgAxVx1eM.gif

Chin up, Girl!

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