Post # 1
So, a couple mutual friends of SO and I recently got engaged after dating for less than one year (no judgement here, just fact). So, of course SO and I are all kinds of happy for them and excited to see them so happy. However, SO’s next statement to me was, “Way to go [guy’s name] for making three dudes look bad to their girlfriends!” I said, “what in the world are you talking about? How does he make anybody look bad? And who?” SO explained that he and two other of our friends who have been in relationships longer now have the risk of looking bad to their girlfriends and to others because they haven’t proposed yet. I assured him that it isn’t a race, that we all have our own timelines, and that he would do it in his time, and so would the others. He appreciated that, but then said “But still, we need to get on the ball compared to him!!”
The other cute thing of this is that he heard the story before I did and made sure to tell me the whole thing.
Has your SO ever expressed proposal envy or timeline envy?
Post # 3
@Loyalfox13: My guy definitely doesn’t have timeline competitiveness, since all of his friends got married within 6 months-2 years of dating. He DID admit to having some weird competitive feelings about engagement rings though. He is being way more picky than I am about the diamond stats. He said it’s definitely a status/pride thing for dudes. I can see how guys could fixate on all different aspects of engagement to get competitive over. Like how some try to come up with the craziest proposals, etc.
Post # 4
I’d for sure used it as an argument for my case “DO IT!”
Post # 5
@EmmyGirl: haha my SO isn’t competing, unless he’s competing on seeing how long he can hold out without proposing! He’d definitely be winning!
Post # 6
Mine is not competing either! haha. Most of our friends have gotten engaged from 2months-2years of dating and were going on 5. Its fine with me, we’ve decided to do other things in the mean time like buying a house and reliable cars and starting our life. Being engaged and married isnt our first priority since we know were going to be together. The longer we wait the more sparkly my ring will be! 😉
Post # 7
Mine is definitely not competing. We’re the longest running relationship among his group of friends and shortest relationship in the group is probably around 3 years. All of them are engaged! The thing is that his friends are pretty wild, independent bachelors and it’s obvious that they got rushed into proposing. SO’s even sure that some of them are probably going to get cold feet. Sometimes it’s great to remember that mine has a level head 🙂
Post # 8
I think that mine has done this in the past….However, I think he’s the one who keeps his friends thinking like this too.
When I met my SO, he was single and believed he would be that guy who would never get married and never meet a woman compatible enough for him to commit to. Ironically, I felt the same way about myself and men (I thought I would die a cat lady with no kids….LOL) This has been the best relationship every for both of us. I can truly say we are best friends!
But, shortly after we met, his friend of 5 years announced he was getting married. That friend, had recently met someone after being in the same “dumpy” mood about women for a few years himself. I mean, his friend literally geeked out to just stuff like World of Warcraft and Anime. lol So, when his friend announced this, that’s when SO started getting very, very atttentive early on in our relationship. I had to literally assure him that things were going ok and that his overly attentive side could be put to rest.
One year after that, his friend announced they were having a baby. My SO basically went baby crazy and brought this man and his wife so many things for their son its shocking LOL My SO has wanted to be married and be a “daddy” since he was five years old! (so cute 🙂 ) So he really has been focused on that all of his life.
I think that, with all that his closest friend went through and finally finding the woman of his dreams, this makes my SO push harder to marry me. This is his first serious relationship. This is my favorite relationship. We have so much fun together and really enjoy each others company. So now, all of his single geeked out friends are looking at him and our relationship in the same manner that he looks at their mutual friend and his marriage and little family. They are all trying to find someone and settle down. Isn’t it funny how life works? 🙂
I can see that men honestly do act in the same way a woman would about timelines, lol But they just do it differently than we do. 🙂
Post # 9
I think my SO isn’t competitive but I think the fact that friends all around him are getting married and starting families has pushed him to work towards making that happen. Recently, a couple we knew got engaged and he said “I wonder who will be next to get engaged, could be Ann* and Kelv* or… could be you and I…”
Post # 10
my SO is very competitive, but only when his friend is worthy of his respect. When a friend who he thinks kinda ‘player’ got engaged to the girl who he dated 6months, SO didn’t care. But when a friend that he personally respect got engaged, he was definitely asking the details and freaking out…
Post # 11
@memo: LMAO, heard that, sister!
@Loyalfox13: I’m not sure if my Boyfriend or Best Friend is competitive about the timeline…though he is definitely competitive about other aspects of marriage/engagement! I have definitely seen him size up other girls rings and then later talk a bit of smack…kind of like a girl.