(Closed) I never want to have sex anymore.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

No advice. I’m in the same boat you are. I NEVER want to have sex anymore. To be honest, I don’t even remember the last time FH and I had sex… And when it does happen, I just kind of want to be done and go to sleep. I feel bad for FH because our sex life used to be awesome and now it’s down to nothing, and has been this way for almost a year now.

Post # 4
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe there’s something out of whack with your hormones? Are you bored in bed?

Post # 5
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@srslovebug:  Definately have your hormones checked out by a holistic doctor.  Sometimes that can play a huge factor in loss of interest in sex!  Has there been anything else bothering you?  Stress at work, weight gain, or money issues?  Sometimes having stressfull situations show up in a low limbido! 

 

Post # 6
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe try out different activities in bed or toys do you watch porn together?

Post # 8
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

A while back, before we got married, I definitely went through a terrible slump.  I just simply was not interested in being intimate. 

So, I took a long hard look at myself… maybe I was unhappy with my body, my mood had been down(ish), I was kind of in my own personal rut. 

I tried to remember back when we first started dating- what attracted me to him?  What sort of things did we used to do?  How do I make myself feel that way about him again?

Honestly, it took a lot of work on my part.  I talked to him about it; I told him that I was in a total funk and that he didn’t do anything to cause it.  I explained that I was going to work on it, I would try to initiate more, I would do my very best to find that spark again within myself.  I asked him to be patient and understanding.  He was 🙂

I started small… I’d kiss him a little longer, I’d put on a cute nighty and initiated one night.  It went well, I felt sexy, …wanted.  It was a confidence booster, so I started to initiate a little more. 

It took a while to get out of the rut I was in, and honestly I think the BIGGEST game changer for me was to come off my hormonal birth control pill.  I had never had a sex drive issue on birth control before, but coming off it definitely helped me snap out of my slump.

Post # 9
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Blah- me too.

Post # 10
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Get your hormones checked out pronto, also start using toys etc in the bedroom. I have the opposite problem, Fiance is the one who doesn’t want it and doesn’t initiate so I know how much it hurts your Boyfriend or Best Friend.

Post # 11
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Same boat! I think it’s my pill, to be honest. I’m going to switch it up to see if that helps (I’m not ready to stop hormonal methods just yet).

Post # 12
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Barn

Birth control can have a HUGE effect on your libido. I haven’t experienced this personally but my BFF has and it really messed with her and her SO. Even if you’ve been on the same brand for a long time, it can still change your sex drive. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@chicagoworkinggirl:  i have been there, and i realised it was after i had started going on the pill. (4 years without taking it) then to start on it i found it made my sex drive so much worse. so i changed pills and now im good. maybe thats it? or try exercising that helps too. good luck it sucks i know 🙁

Post # 14
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have the same issue! It’s been almost 2 months since Fiance and I have had sex. ugh. 🙁 I feel so bad for him. I think my issue is stress/depression/birth control.

Post # 15
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ThinkingOutLoud:  I have the same problem stressdepression birth control but I try to have sex once a week though….but I think he can tell I’m not that into it. Fi is really pushing me to quitbirth control but I am soooo worried about getting pregnant I don’t know what to do.

Post # 16
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@chicagoworkinggirl:  You are not alone. I don’t know if it’s stress or the fact that I put on 5 pounds. Maybe it’s both. All I know is I don’t want to have sex at all. I’m over it. That sounds so bad! I’m doing my best to work on it for my FI’s sake. I think I’ll check out this toy advice PP’s are giving. 

PS thanks for posting on this sensitive topic. It’s sort of been eating at me the last week and I haven’t felt like I had anyone to talk to about this. 

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