Post # 1
I feel like I’m in such a sex slump. I feel so bad for my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for 4 years, and he pointed out during a fight that he’s been the only one initiating sex for probably about 6 months now. And when we do have sex, I have no urge to do foreplay on HIM. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and it breaks my heart. Everything else in our relationship is fine. Why am I not horny like how I should be??
If you have advice I’ll be SO GRATEFUL to hear it. Thanks!
Post # 3
No advice. I’m in the same boat you are. I NEVER want to have sex anymore. To be honest, I don’t even remember the last time FH and I had sex… And when it does happen, I just kind of want to be done and go to sleep. I feel bad for FH because our sex life used to be awesome and now it’s down to nothing, and has been this way for almost a year now.
Post # 4
Maybe there’s something out of whack with your hormones? Are you bored in bed?
Post # 5
@srslovebug: Definately have your hormones checked out by a holistic doctor. Sometimes that can play a huge factor in loss of interest in sex! Has there been anything else bothering you? Stress at work, weight gain, or money issues? Sometimes having stressfull situations show up in a low limbido!
Post # 6
Maybe try out different activities in bed or toys do you watch porn together?
Post # 8
A while back, before we got married, I definitely went through a terrible slump. I just simply was not interested in being intimate.
So, I took a long hard look at myself… maybe I was unhappy with my body, my mood had been down(ish), I was kind of in my own personal rut.
I tried to remember back when we first started dating- what attracted me to him? What sort of things did we used to do? How do I make myself feel that way about him again?
Honestly, it took a lot of work on my part. I talked to him about it; I told him that I was in a total funk and that he didn’t do anything to cause it. I explained that I was going to work on it, I would try to initiate more, I would do my very best to find that spark again within myself. I asked him to be patient and understanding. He was 🙂
I started small… I’d kiss him a little longer, I’d put on a cute nighty and initiated one night. It went well, I felt sexy, …wanted. It was a confidence booster, so I started to initiate a little more.
It took a while to get out of the rut I was in, and honestly I think the BIGGEST game changer for me was to come off my hormonal birth control pill. I had never had a sex drive issue on birth control before, but coming off it definitely helped me snap out of my slump.
Post # 10
Get your hormones checked out pronto, also start using toys etc in the bedroom. I have the opposite problem, Fiance is the one who doesn’t want it and doesn’t initiate so I know how much it hurts your Boyfriend or Best Friend.
Post # 11
Same boat! I think it’s my pill, to be honest. I’m going to switch it up to see if that helps (I’m not ready to stop hormonal methods just yet).
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2014 - Barn
Birth control can have a HUGE effect on your libido. I haven’t experienced this personally but my BFF has and it really messed with her and her SO. Even if you’ve been on the same brand for a long time, it can still change your sex drive. Good luck!
Post # 13
@chicagoworkinggirl: i have been there, and i realised it was after i had started going on the pill. (4 years without taking it) then to start on it i found it made my sex drive so much worse. so i changed pills and now im good. maybe thats it? or try exercising that helps too. good luck it sucks i know 🙁
Post # 14
I have the same issue! It’s been almost 2 months since Fiance and I have had sex. ugh. 🙁 I feel so bad for him. I think my issue is stress/depression/birth control.
Post # 15
@ThinkingOutLoud: I have the same problem stressdepression birth control but I try to have sex once a week though….but I think he can tell I’m not that into it. Fi is really pushing me to quitbirth control but I am soooo worried about getting pregnant I don’t know what to do.
Post # 16
@chicagoworkinggirl: You are not alone. I don’t know if it’s stress or the fact that I put on 5 pounds. Maybe it’s both. All I know is I don’t want to have sex at all. I’m over it. That sounds so bad! I’m doing my best to work on it for my FI’s sake. I think I’ll check out this toy advice PP’s are giving.
PS thanks for posting on this sensitive topic. It’s sort of been eating at me the last week and I haven’t felt like I had anyone to talk to about this.