Post # 16
annonymous21385 : Its really hard when a grandchild is involved. My husband oftens feels like everyone lets his sister get away with her ridiculous behavior because they are all so scared that she’ll take away her daughter from them if they call her on her shit. WE are constantly the bad people because we dont put up with it and then she claims we dont “see her child enough”. Well – do you want to know why? Cuz you’re a crazy bitch – that’s why!
Post # 17
I know a lot about having a devil for a sister. It just isn’t worth your effort. I feel pitty for your sister. She is so full of hatred, she deliberately ruined one of the potentially closest bonds she could have. She sounds horrible, sick, narcisistic and selfish. I agree with you for not having her in your life anymore.
Post # 18
Girl you need to get away. My sister used to be even worse than this toe me. She would say real ugly things about me and to me and post things on facebook it was awful. But I ignored her to aviod drama especially because I love my nephew more than anything and she has never ever kept him from me. We are better now and she lets him facetime me once a week and tells me when she’s going to our home state so I can go too. We are both driving distance away from my mom’s. But seriously you have tried more than enough so just walk away because she is just toxic.
Post # 19
annonymous21385 : But how can you “work it out” when there is only one person working?
I think you are right to feel how you do, but remember that it is not the child’s fault. I would still ask to see the baby and treat her with love when you are around her, and if your sister doesnt allow it, that is on her. At least you will know you tried.
Post # 20
While I agree that you should cut ties…. you need to be a bit more adult about your words and attitude.
Your entire post sounds like a petulant child. Just stopping feeding into her behavior and actions and take the high road and let karma do the rest!
Post # 21
Just wanted to add that I had a relationship similar with a family member and it is SO liberating when you finally walk away. It may take a few weeks but youll eventually feel so much lighter. Hang in there.
Post # 22
ill agree with some other posters, take the high road and dont give her anymore chances regardless of what your mother or family want. What i find odd is youve known for years her behavior but keep feeding into it, so what do you expect as an end result at this point.
As unfortunate as it is, considering she is about to have a baby, now is the time to cut her off and live your life.
maybe a few years down the road or whenever you feel ready, i would force her to sit down with you and talk it all out, it may not solve anything, but having to hide your clear depression or emotional state from everyone will only hurt you in the long run.
Post # 23
MrsBonJovi : I haven’t said any words to her as she doesn’t give me a chance to even talk to her, these are just my inner thoughts that I spewed out on a keyboard as if I were talking to my girlfriends about how I feel lol It’s either her or me sitting quietly in a family event if we’re together, so we don’t exchange words. So, I just vented my mind lol ain’t no maturity required! I take the high road errday
jamieosmith : Girl I’m hoping it will be like that! I feel like there’s a zillion lbs on my shoulders and I’m excited not to carry that around anymore!
Kslim13 : I ask myself all the time why I keep trying, I mean, I know she’s been like this for years, why do I think I can change her? The best way I know how to describe it is…when a dog continues to get yelled/abused by it’s owner, although they’re obviously hurting from it, they continue to go back to try and get the love and approval they desire. My sister is family, my family wants it to work, I wanted it to work, but I’m just realizing that it’s simply not possible right now. and it stinks!
Post # 24
People pay this woman to nurture their children? God, that’s terrifying. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you’re making the right call and stay strong 🙂
Oh, and you did nothing wrong sharing her facebook post, she clearly doesn’t understand how facebook works. If her post was public then anyone can see it anyway, it’d show up on your friends’ feeds just by liking it, and if it’s private then even shared only her friends would be able to see it. I only know this because I take my facebook privacy pretty seriously and my in-laws share photos of my kids all the time.
Post # 25
And not to attack your mom, but it sounds like she enables your sisters bullshit, and lets her get away with murder.
Post # 26
- Wedding: June 2016 - Beach
I can relate. Sometimes you need to separate yourself from the negativity. It sounds to me like no matter what you try to do she remains selfish and ungrateful. Family sucks sometimes.
Post # 27
Honestly, I completely understand where you are coming from and I think you’ve already put in a great amount of effort into trying to repair the relationship and she is completely ungrateful. I can’t really offer much advice because I am actually in the same boat as you. I have to choose one more bridesmaid as I am getting married in Sept and my Fiance has 4 groomsmen.. my parents have basically imposed it on me that I need to ask my sister and other have said that it might repair our relationship. But just like with you and your sister, we have never ever gotten along, she is 21 years old and still pulls teenage fits and has no filter. If she doesn’t get her way, it is always somebody else’s fault. She has told me to go fuck myseld and called me a bitch on numerous occasions basically for not giving her my credit card number so that her and her friends can stay in a hotel room (credit card in case of damages) or if I don’t say yes to lending her something. She feels like the world owes her everything and she isn’t scared to act out and be mean if people don’t give her what she wants. So I basically don’t talk to her and walk on eggshells around her. She doesn’t say hi to me or my Fiance when we got to my parents house for supper (she lives with them still).. so ya I totally get you being done with your sister. Just because she is family it doesn’t mean that your personalities will match up. And even your mom agrees that she is unreasonable.
Post # 28
Let me start by saying that I’m so sorry. Unfortunately you have a little more work to do.
Speaking from experience, please, please make sure your parents have a will and outline their wishes in it. I cannot stress to you enough the shit show your life will become if they don’t.
Its not something we want to think about but it’s important. My parents died with nothing. At all. My beloved sister told me I planned a funeral she couldn’t afford ( it couldn’t have been cheaper and still respectful ). I paid for it. No questions. She took a lovely 3 week vacation to Thailand though. Told her she could arrange the headstone. The day before the funeral, she came and helped herself to my mothers jewellery. I was disgusted but said nothing.
The final straw for me when she complained that I had their “stuff” ( some furniture and art my mom brought with her when she moved in with me after my dad died ). That it should be sold and that she should get half the money.
I was so saddened and disgusted that even looking at my moms things brought no joy. I packed it all up and hired a mover and had it delivered to her house. No acknowledgement. She kept what she liked and threw away the rest 😡. We don’t speak anymore except for birthdays and holidays. I put a smile on and get through it for my nephew and my own kids but really I can’t stand being near her. I feel your pain OP. It’s been 7 years since my mothers death. I used to hope she’d learn and apologize. Ain’t gonna happen. She’s almost 43 and just as entitled as she was at 16. To this day there isn’t a headstone at my parents grave. I’ll be arranging one for the 8th anniversary of my parents death ( they died the same day one year apart ).
Point being, your sister is who she is. You can’t make her love and value you. Put on a smile and be there for your niece when she needs you, and she will….and rest assured that in the end the toxic always poison themselves.
I wish you the very best and send huge hugs your way.
Edited to add, when I got engaged in September she hinted at wanting to be a bridesmaid. Oh. Hell. No. I wish we were closer but I just can’t stand the woman….
Post # 29
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
I am fully estranged from my family. I understand how hard it is for your own flesh and blood to be so toxic. Sometimes these relationships just can’t exist for the sake of your wellbeing. I’m sorry you are going through this 🙁
Post # 30
annonymous21385 : You sister sounds horrible and she quite rightly deserves to be ditched. Your love and support is wasted on her.