(Closed) I no longer like this girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh, for Pete’s sake….quit feeding in to the drama, focus on your own life and move on.  I felt like I was reading a high-schooler’s blog here. 

Post # 63
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@DolceVita:  I do agree with this slightly – which is why I said you should say something. Even if it causes drama and you two fight, if she keeps hearing how insufferable she’s being and how all her friends are leaving her, she will learn to look at herself as the cause of her loneliness.

Post # 65
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@DolceVita:  OK, I’ll re-state.

Don’t go to her wedding.  Don’t invite her to yours.  All dramas eliminated, everyone happy.  Also known as “growing up”.

Post # 67
Member
1530 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

@DolceVita:  You don’t need to let a selfish person know that she’s being selfish. She will figure it out or her fiance will tell her about it. (Poor guy doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into….)

If I was in your shoes, I’d explain to my own family that she does not matter anymore — it does not matter how much time we spent together. The past is the past. It’s the fact that she doesn’t respect her friends anymore — that alone would give you enough grounds to ignore her. Just be civil; nothing more. Smile & wave when you walk by in passing. Don’t even ask how she’s doing because that gives her a window to brag.

If she calls, don’t answer/appear busy. She’s being a brat, so let her be.

Post # 69
Member
1530 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Well, my ex-Frienemy is super judgemental/harmfully cynical; me talking about her to my best friend gave my bestie a migraine! There were worse insults she threw at after I told her that my fiance didn’t like her at all either; I just didn’t feel like pretending to be friends with someone who thinks she’s better than the rest of the world — who also imposed on being a bridesmaid. Funny.. because things end up not working for her; yet, she kept rubbing it in my face she’s got an MBA.

She was judging her ex-boyfriend’s mother who married for a Canadian citizenship; she never got along with the guy’s mother. THIS — was her basis for being racist towards her exbf’s mother. I got fed-up of her trying to beat-up the world or threaten to punch the person behind me for not saying ‘Thank You’ for holding the door. (Seriously, I don’t care if I get thanked — it’s common courtesy) I spoke up, “Have you ever thought that the fact she gave up true love, so that her children can have a better life? Could YOU even sacrifice your life for your kids?” She was silent.

If I could turn the clock back, I would have just stuck to being nice, but removing her from my life by deleting her email address and phone numbers. It wasn’t worth the one week of emotional grief I went through from her hurtful comments. Girls like that hate to be told they’re wrong; to them, it’s always someone else’s fault for their misery.

Post # 70
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@lina010:  Hey now, don’t assume that lawyers have “people smarts” or recognize rudeness. I am a lawyer and I deal with them all the time. Many of them don’t.

Post # 71
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@DolceVita:  nope so was not, but the main point is if ppl are rude, weather more passive aggressive or direct you don’t need them in your life or part of your day 

Post # 72
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@DolceVita:  They did this (rather depressing) study that showed people never entirely stop viewing themselves as they did in high school, no matter how much their lives change. That is why you had so much difficulty in responding to Laura the way you should have, and why your behaviour was so bafflingly different to your fi, and yet you couldn’t just break out of it.

Anyhow, Laura is a bitch. The stuff she said to your friend, to you, and prolly everyone else is atrocious. Your friend is 100% right – she acts like this because so many of you have let her get away with it, and coddled her because of her health issues when her terrible personality was coming out. Realizing that a “friend” is not coming because they don’t want to be at her oh-so-amaaaaazing wedding is probably the healthiest thing for her. 

Be prepared to get bitched at for it, and for not inviting her. But for the love of all that is good in this world, PLEASE stand strong in this! Chances are if you do your friends will follow suit some. You need to let this girl drift right out of your life, she’s awful. Do NOT let that old high school reverting thing make you back down on this!

Post # 74
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@DolceVita:  Don’t invite her…period. End of story. Mom and Dad get no say. If you don’t want her there she dosen’t get invited. DONE. And don’t even allow yourself 10 seconds of guilt about it. Move on with your life and let this woman do the same.

Post # 75
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I’m glad to see you’ve decided not to invite her. I *also* had a frenemy, but I still (and to this day, still do) cared for him as a brother. I’d closed my eyes for years while he made passive-aggressive remarks about my family, everyone I dated, my abilities at college, my friendships, even made a mockery of my problems. I’d wanted to believe he was just blunt – not that he was, well, an asshole.

You’re lucky that you’ve come to this realization BEFORE your invitations are out – I didn’t and he ended up RSVPing during the middle of drama his partner started. I couldn’t uninvite them at that point, but still distanced myself. They came to the wedding and it was a little awkward. Thankfully, after they’d gotten their fill of free food and booze, they bailed and I never saw them again.

I’d do the slow fade with this girl. Avoid saying anything critical to your other friends during the breakup, as it sounds like “Laura” isn’t the most balanced person and would find a way to get through to you if something came up. Get a little slower with returning calls…and then don’t return them at all. Same with e-mails and any other contact. If you run into her, you’re “very busy,” it turns out. 

That’s what I did with my old friend. At the end of the day, you can’t change someone’s personality. And people who resort to this sort of behavior? I don’t think they really want to change. They’re bullies. They get their kicks out of hurting people, but at the same time, they have a captive audience of ‘friends’ to provide them with help and emotional support. They get to be mean and get to feel superior and have plausible deniability the whole time. 

You will be far happier, though, without her at your wedding.

Post # 76
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@DolceVita:  Life is too short to be playing games! If she’s a nasty bitch to you don’t invite her! I hope you’re not planning to attend her wedding either from what you’ve said about her character I have no idea why you’d even consider it. You don’t need this crazy, bragadocious bitch in your life!  My 2cents. 

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