(Closed) I now understand the RSVP woes…

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Sorry nevermind going on to drop off the RSVP in a mailbox, we had online RSVP, which basically means if they had an internet connection at home, they could’ve RSVPed online in the comfort of their own home, and even then we had to call people and follow up on many to get them to do it.

I don’t think it’s a matter of inconvenience so much as people just don’t sense the time-sensitivity of the deadline as much as the people planning the wedding.

Post # 18
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

Out of curiosity how early  (or late) would you suggest RSVPS should be sent out? I’m getting married late May next year and was wondering when would be best. It sounds like I’ve also got to consider chasing people up too…

Post # 19
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Ugh yes, the struggle is real. We had locked up our final head count 2.5 weeks before and had changes up to the day before, oh my husband can’t come after all. Or this family doesn’t know if their teenage kids can go, so we counted 4 aand 2 came. My other friend had an aunt pass away a week before and was too busy with family affairs on our wedding. 

Life happens, how many times have you dragged your feet on a bridal shower, baby shower, or bday invite? I know I have and like you said understand now, but don’t let it eat you up. Just vent and move on especially as you get closer, cause girl it’s gonna happen. I don’t know how many times I had to change that stupid seating chart cards (listed by table).

Post # 20
Member
6176 posts
Bee Keeper

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MrsSapphire :  Strange. So they said no to be someones babysitter? Lame! Sorry that sucks.

Post # 22
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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MrsSapphire :  forget the mailbox. Our gues litteraly had to click 2 buttons … 6 days till deadline 50% have not replied. 

Post # 24
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Oh yes I remember last year when chasing them people who just couldn’t say “yes” or “no”. You have caterers to tell, order of services to make (and you don’t want to be paying for more than what you need), table plans to make etc etc etc and people taking ages to decide is just an added stress! Grrrrrrrrr! 

Yes I recommend putting the RSVP date on the invites before you actually need to know as you’ll very likely have to chase people up. Our venue needed numbers 1 month before so we had our RSVP date 2 months before. (longer than the US I’ve noticed)  

Post # 25
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

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MrsSapphire :  Yeah I think mentionning that would definitely help.

We managed to get all the RSVPs about 2 weeks after the deadline. Our final message was basically, “We need the numbers tonight for the caterers.” And if they couldn’t go online 2 weeks after the deadline to RSVP, then I really didn’t think they wanted to come anyways. I mean, we’re paying a lot of money to have them there so I find it extremely rude that when they keep you guessing whether or not they’re free. I don’t know even what a “maybe” means. Like if something more important doesn’t come up, you’re free?

Sorry I am on a little bit of a rant myself. But I totally understand your frustration.

Post # 27
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We have online RSVPs.. people need to clik 3 buttons.  Yet out of 70 invitations we so far only got 35 rsvps. Deadline is March 31.

I got people inviting people/bringing people that were not invited… trying to..

I got a Future Mother-In-Law suggesting to people who are single and dont have a date but were given a plus one to bring their kid instead..

I got people answering for other people… their kid, parent, sibling…he said/she said they are coming or maybe coming. FFS.

I got people who rsvpd “we are probably coming…” 

We got people saying we are coming but my spouse may or may not come… or maybe he will… 

We got people saying I and my 18 y.o. daughter are coming, i am not having a date(even though given a plus one) but she may bring her boyfriend when he clears it with his parents..cause she has a plus one.

I got people saying well is he/she/they (insert name) come I will to cause we can split the hotel…

I got people asking me if they can bring their dog…

And their kid…

And one who is not sure if she will have the kids that weekend, if not then she is probably coming if yes then she is definatelly not coming. (She literally split from her hubby last month so this one I am mot annoyed by just sad because they were an awesome family and she is my fave cousing of FI’s) 

And 2 of FIs favourite uncles are not coming… because they are going on vacation in June and going to their fave nephew’s wedding is too much… the Save the dates went out August 1st 2016. And they were so excited that we are finally getting married and cant wait to come… and then they RSVP NO and dont even bother telling us or answering on the site… they tell FIs dad (who is their brother) that they cant make it..

I am loosing my mind 😂

Post # 28
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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MrsSapphire :  see my last post… it’s a fucking nightmare… not just annoying

Post # 29
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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MrsSapphire :  um weird.. I just wrote a los ass rant and it disappeared…

Post # 29
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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MrsSapphire :  in my rant that disapeared… we had 1 of FIs uncle who was so excited to get an Save the date last August couldnt wait to come.. and now that he got the actual invite… he did not RSVP on the site or to us directly but told FIs dad (who is his brother) that he cant come because he is going on vacation next month and cant be bothered to look for a hotel and spend more money by coming to our wedding… WTF….. and the 2nd uncle (FFILs other brother) is not coming now that that 1st uncle is not because they were planning to share the hotel… ok then… and the 3rd uncle who is disabled.. needed a ride from the one of the other to make it… so FIs dad has 3 brother… and none if them are coming because the 1st uncle decided to not come… and he doent have the decency to tell it to us himself. Fiance was so pissed yesterday  when he found all this out that he is ready to cross him out of his life… and this is his absolute favourite uncle. This breaks my heart.

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