(Closed) I offended SO about our sex life

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sex is such a touchy subject. I think it’s completely normal, not okay though, for people to get defensive when talking about their sex life, especially with someone they really care about. He took it differently than what you meant and it hurt him. You just need to explain what you meant. Maybe he just doesn’t have as much of a sex drive as you do?

Post # 4
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

wtf is he offended about? You asked why you guys were having less sex so that you could try to fix the problem, and he got offended? wtf?

Post # 8
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@anon00:  I totally get what you mean. I used to be super afraid to talk to my husband about our sex life because I didn’t want to hurt feelings or end up fighting. I always start our conversations with ‘So, I love our sex life. I really do, it’s great. But…..”. It seems to help. Who knows.

 

Post # 10
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anon00:  I guess I kind of get that? May have been in the way you approached it, too–if you didn’t use the phrase “Am I doing something wrong?” he probably just assumed that it was about him. If you did use it and he STILL got offended…reminds me of my Fiance lol.

Post # 12
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anon00:  Ugh, boys, I swear.

Post # 14
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@anon00:  Just reassure him your question was out of a desire to make sure HE was happy and because you find him so very hot.  That should do it. 

Beyond that, its perfectly normal for sex lives to wax and wane.  There will be times you do it more and times less depending on what’s going on in your lives.  A decrease is not an automatic indicator that there’s a problem.

Unless it drops off dramatically or your Fiance is actively avoiding you, I doubt you have any reason to worry.  You don’t want to make your Fiance feel pressured to sustain a certain schedule after all – that’s not sexy. 

I think you both just need to relax a little and not worry so much.  🙂

Post # 15
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anon00:  If that kind of stuff comes up?

Post # 16
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

boys can be the biggest girls when it comes to this subject i swear! does he see any form of critisism of his ability to ‘satisfy’ you as a form of questioning his masculinity? He wouldnt be an alpa male type personality would he? From experience I know quite a few alpha males can have this problem

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