(Closed) I only want my brothers to stand with me, but…

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

my aunt got married with no BMs or Maid/Matron of Honor.  the pictures are incredible.  there were like 13 GMs..so all these guys in black tuxes and then her in the middle in all white.  very cute pics…she has 3 sisters, and none of them were in the wedding.  lots of people were offended though..heads up that Future Sister-In-Law is gonna think you black-balled her being in her brothers wedding…choose your battles…

Post # 4
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

Can you have your friend do a reading at your wedding? Since you don’t want to have BM’s, that way your friend is included….maybe you could have Future Sister-In-Law do a reading too…so she’s "included" and not feeling slighted.
My guy has 9 siblings, and honestly if I could, I would ask 3 of his sisters and 1 of his brothers to be in our bridal party, but I know the others would be hurt to be left out…soooo….I’m just having my closest girl friends as my BM’s and he’ll have his closest friends as his Groomsmen. That way we didn’t choose some & not others, it’s an all or nothing approach for us 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

Don’t worry– lots of wedding parties are uneven these days (mine is)! I wouldn’t add your friend just for the sake of making things even, if you don’t want her as a BM/MOH.  If you want to include her in some way, perhaps have her do a reading?  It’s definitely good that you’re not trying to block your Fiance from including his sister– I think it’s sometimes a little too easy to forget that it’s his wedding too when our FI’s make requests that don’t fit into exactly what we have in mind…  🙂  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

It doesn’t sound like you should feel obligated to ask your friend, especially if you don’t want any women. However with all other siblings standing up, I really think you should ask FI’s sister.  Who cares if it’s uneven?

If it was me I would probably have Future Sister-In-Law and my brothers.  Then Fiance would have his brothers on his side.  In fact if I would go ahead and say Future Sister-In-Law would be Maid/Matron of Honor.  You could leave her as Bridesmaid or Best Man, with no Maid/Matron of Honor.  But really if she is the only girl, she’s probably going to do all the Maid/Matron of Honor duties

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I wouldn’t worry about the sides being even, especially since you want to stick with family in the bridal party. And I think it’s easy enough to tell your friend that you’re going with just family for the bridal party for various reasons. If it’s important to your Fiance to have his sister up front, on either your side or his side, by all means put her in your bridal party. It’s his wedding too and if they’re close enough that he really wants her a part of the bridal party, I think that wins over you not wanting to have women in your bridal party, kwim? What if you were in a situation where your Fiance had all sisters and just wanted girls in the wedding party and no guys, telling you that you couldn’t have your brothers up front with you? I think when you think of it that way, it will likely be obvious to you that his sister should be included.

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Just tell her you’re only havng family. Just cuz you’re in her wedding doesn’t mean she has to be in yours.

Just have uneven sides, it doesn’t matter that much. But including your Future Sister-In-Law would be nice. I don’t see how you could include your brothers, his brothers, and not his sister just because she’s a woman? I don’t like that idea, and i’m sure she will feel very left out and hurt. 

Post # 9
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Just invite your friend to the wedding and say the bridal party is family. No biggie. Are you closer to his brothers or something? Why do you want the brothers and not the sister? I think I am missing a part of this story…

Post # 10
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For fear of your friend and possibly even your Future Sister-In-Law feeling snubbed, would you consider having the two of them as BMs and all your brothers at GM?  Then, when they all walk in each girl can walk with two guys and it won’t look funny. 

Post # 12
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I love your solution! When I first read your post and you said "my sister-in-law to be" I thought you were referring to FI’s sister. I’m glad you’re including his sister, and it sounds like you’ve got the perfect solution to keep the sides balanced and keep it in the family.

Post # 13
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

oneo f my dear friends (and BM’s) is getting married in july and only have family stand up: 4 brothers on her side and two brothers and two sisters on his side.

Much easier to say "we just decided to have family stand up for us, but we hope you can still be a part of our day" and have your friend be a personal attendant, etc.

I wouldn’t be offended if it was an all family bridal party! 

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