(Closed) I pay for my own Bachelorette party?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i didnt think you were supposed to………..wow.

Post # 4
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I depends. Have you and your MOH/BM’s talked about the bachelorette party together, if so, I think it should be paid for by your MOH/BM’s. If you are doing the planning alone, then its probably out of your pocket. I would ask them for a contribution for the occassion. Do they know that you are paying for the wedding?

Post # 6
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Have talked to the bridal party about how the bachelor/ette party is going to be paid for?  You probably shouldn’t assume anything!  If you want them to pay for the party, make sure they know!  They might have though you were already planning, and therefore paying, for the party.

Post # 7
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

just a thought…maybe they feel like you overstepped their planning boundaries by booking the party bus??

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well… it seems like since YOU booked the party bus, that’s why they think YOU are paying for it.  I understand why you want to have a co-bachelor/ette party, but those types of parties are usually thrown FOR you, and not something you plan for yourself.  Generally if the bride/groom want something in particular that may or may not be in the budget of their party, then they have to chip in to help with the costs – does that make sense?

We have a limo for a bachelorette party I’m planning (I’m the MOH), and I’m not expecting the bride to contribute, but if she had booked it in the beginning before me and/or declared “this is what I want” then I might think she should have to contribute.  Normally the bride/groom will just get whatever type of party their friends can afford/are willing to throw them.  If you’re involving yourself in the planning, then you probably have to involve yourself in paying.

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well if the rest is up to your BMs, maybe having a limo wasn’t in the plan.  I think of a bachelorette as an “extra” expense.  Something that isn’t required.  So it might have been something that they planned as more low key than you were thinking. 

No I don’t think you should pay for your bachelorette, for the most part.  But if you want something your BM’s aren’t prepared to pay for, you’ll either have to pay for it yourself, or do without.  

Post # 10
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I think maybe they were not planning on having the party bus and they figured since you were booking it, you were paying for it.

I didn’t really have any say in my bach party…the girls planned the whole thing.

Post # 11
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t know that there’s a right or wrong in this situation.  Its dependent on communication.  It sounds like your sister didn’t understand what you were saying, she might not realize that you’d like them to pay for it.  I’d be direct, as awkward as it might feel.  I had the convo early on with my bridal party, to let them know what I was paying for, and anything else was on them.  So if they chose to do a bachelorette party or a shower, that was their chose.

Post # 12
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds like you’re planning your own party, and if you’re planning it, you pay for it.  If you don’t want to pay for it, you have to wait until someone offers to throw one for you.  If they are throwing it for you, stay out of the planning completely so they can plan something that they can afford.  Maybe they were thinking of doing something more low key or whatever, but if you don’t want to pay for it, stop planning it!

Post # 13
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Agree with the others.  You shouldn’t be planning anything and if there is something you want that is above their ideas then you should pay for it.  So maybe go back and talk to your sister and make sure the two of you are on the same page.  She may have thought the price you told her was for the rental both nights or that someone else was taking care of it. 

Post # 14
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

You don’t have to pay for your Bachelorette but you do not have to have a party bus!  If you decide you must have a party bus – you have to pay for it.  I think saying you want a coed party is within the bounds, it might step on your MOH’s toes a little bit but the guest list should be something you have input in – anything else no unless someone asks your opinion (which hopefully they would – but they don’t have to).

Post # 15
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Either you don’t pay for anything and give up all planning rights, or you plan it and pay for it.  Frankly I would be pissed if I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and had to unexpectedly pay for a limo (?!) for a night of barhopping.

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