(Closed) i pay, they pay??

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think $1000 for dinner and no room rental fee is a decent deal for that many people.  That’s about what our brunch is costing us for 30-35 with dessert included.  I wouldn’t ask guests to pay for their own meal.

Post # 4
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

My restaurant would be about the same, around $900 for about 25 guests, but I am not having that anymore, so it will be cheaper for 5-6 people….

Post # 5
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You should pay for the dinner, $1,000 isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things, not to mention that you’ll probably end up with gifts that will cover most of it.  So when you get your new home you may have to put off buying a new sofa, but I would value that dinner higher than a new piece of furniture.

Post # 6
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Close friends and family should know your situation & be fine with it.

Although it may depend on whether or not they would also be bringing you gifts. I know that weddings are not supposed to be quid pro quo, as in I’m giving a gift b/c I got a free food & entertainment. They should be given out of the true wish to honor a couple starting out on their journey.

But unfortunately, many people still see it this way. Consider the matching of a gift’s value to the cost of per person plate at the reception.

If you mom suggested it, I would guess that it would be ok to have people pay their own way. It’s their choice to come or not. You can always gift them with a small wedding favor as a token of your appreciation.

Post # 7
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You should pay for their dinners.

Post # 10
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you should pay for your guests. They’re coming out to support you, and it’s a nice gesture. 

At the same time, I would understand if you absolutely could not afford it, and I would be gracious about it and pay for my own food, but that doesn’t sound like the situation here.

Post # 11
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think you should pay for it. If you can’t swing it & don’t want to pay for it then you shouldn’t do the dinner. just my opinion!

Post # 12
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If I were invited to a reception of any sort I would expect the meal to be paid by the host. If you do go the route of having your guests pay be sure to word the invitation accordingly to avoid confusion when the bill arrives.

Post # 13
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We eloped with 6 friends as witnesses and then went to lunch afterward, and everyone paid for their own meal. We presented it as “we are going to lunch afterward and anyone who would like to may join us,” so it wasn’t really a reception. I don’t think anyone was offended.  

Post # 14
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think if you are having a dinner you should pay… especially when you are paying for a photographer. If I went to a wedding and had to pay for my meal, but saw a photographer there I would think it was pretty rude that the couple had money to spend on the wedding but chose not to spend any on the guests.

Post # 15
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@alicia1745:  I agree!

If you can’t afford to pay for the dinner, you shouldn’t be having it IMO. I wouldn’t invite guests to my house and make them pay for their own dinner there. If you’re hosting something for your wedding, guests should not have to pay for it.

Post # 16
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yes, you do host.  You can even work with the restaurant to create a “selected menu” meaning you select maybe 2-3 entrees, maybe one beer, one wine options (or none at all) just so the guests aren’t seeing the entire food list and all picking the filet mignon.  That’s one way to lower the costs.

 

This is your reception, to receive guests and thank them for coming to see you get married.

Sounds great and if my family/friends were near I’d do the restaurant route too!

The topic ‘i pay, they pay??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors