(Closed) I planned the whole freaking wedding and all he can do is complain!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Ugh.  How frustrating and unfair.

It’s one thing to be up front about not wanting to be involved in a lot of the planning, but to go on and on about how difficult it is to accomplish a simple task when someone else has generously taken on most of the work is just obnoxious.

Post # 4
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

That is frustrating and annoying!  I feel that way some time when I ask Fiance to do something, he doens’t complain, but it takes him forever to get it done and it just annoys me. 

Question: What is hand cancel?

Post # 5
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You are completely right to be upset with him.  I was running myself into the ground working on everything.  Then I just broke and made a list split it in half and gave him his part.  Amazingly enough he actually has been doing it and complains just as much as me LOL. 

Post # 6
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MrsPinkPeony: I would not be a happy camper either (if I were you). Please do not take offense when I say this but I think he is being completely unreasonable. Where does he come off thinking he doesn’t have to do any of the work? I understand not wanting to sit through hours of “canary yellow or burnt yellow”, but seriously? Taking envelopes to the post office too hard? To be fair, I don’t know what hand cancelling means, but if it truly only took 10 minutes then he needs to get over it. This isn’t a “it’s all about June” party…it is a celebration of a marriage and a new life. Bad idea to start that new life by being uncooperative.

Post # 7
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is who he is. He didn’t want to do this and he acted like a child about it.

He is likely to behave this way in future when he doesn’t want to do something. It might be easier to negotiate that you will do tasks he doesn’t want to do IF he does some other task for you, instaed of you having to come to the rescue at the last minute.

Post # 9
374 posts
Helper bee

Sounds like the old, “Take out the garbage,” ‘I don’t want to,” fight.  Couples need to sit down and make a list of things to do both with the wedding and your marriage.  Someone needs to cook.  If you both don’t want to, then you need to budget ‘take-out’ amd figure how it will work.  He probably doesn’t have good executive function skills.  What does he do for a living?  Is he into details?  It’s kind of late in the ball game; but, there’s still things to do like seating charts.., making arrangements for the honeymoon.  Sit down and ask him what he feels like doing; and, wants to do.  My guess is he’s all up to check out the trip but won’t want to fiddle w/seating cards.  A good rule is to find out what he wants to do, abd assume he’s good at it.

He may not want to change a diaper, but he may love to put rainboots on a 2 year old and have him/her splash through the water in the rain!

Find out his strengths and go from there.

Post # 11
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Um, waaaahhhhh!  Your Fiance needs to grow up, and you need to inform him of this.  How old is he?  It sounds like the behavior of a 20 year old.  Just stupidly immature.  I, also, have been responsible for majority of the wedding planning due to Fi working offshore and being gone for 28 days.  And he tells me constantly how grateful he is for everything I’ve done.  And he told me that, even though we really weren’t planning to do wedding gifts, he has something special he wants to give me, because he is so respectful of how wrapped up in our wedding plans I’ve had to be lately.  That is a real man. IMO.  Granted, we’re both about to be 31, and when I was engaged at 21 to another person that I fortunately did not marry, he sounded like your Fiance.  Again, waaaahhhh.

So, no idea how old your Fiance is, but quite frankly, if he’s old enough to pop the question, then he should be old enough to GROW A PAIR.


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