(Closed) I put her at my top table and she put me at the singles table :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would it annoy you.
    Wouldn't even think about it : (23 votes)
    17 %
    Yep, I would have an issue with it : (112 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @skyeatnight:  I would be kind of hurt & bummed out, too. You’re right, though, she can do what she wants- and there’s nothing you can really do about it now that they day is over, so no use dwelling on it! 

    Post # 5
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @skyeatnight:  That’s what I figured. But, to answer your question, yes, it’d probably cross my mind & bum me out a bit. Hopefully she doesn’t treat you like a second class citizen on a regular basis, though, and it was just an oversight.

    Post # 7
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    While I agree that she can do what she wants, wow that was really rude of her to a) seat you at the freaking “singles” table, and b) to have a table in another room. 🙁 

    Post # 9
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    hmm thats a bummer , I’d be mad! She could have at least sat you by your inlaws!

    Post # 10
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    You have no idea how much time and effort went into the seating chart or why she chose to seat you where she did; for all you know, she was struggling to balance things out and you were the one body that could go into that seat with the least amount of fuss (as in, if she’d put Susie over there instead, Susie would have caused a scene).

    So unless/until you know the why’s, I’d just not worry about it and I’d not take it personally.  And I do not recommend asking her why she did that, btw.

    FWIW stories like this are precisely why I’m not doing a seating chart— really no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who’s not pleased. For the OP I’d just chalk it up to this being the best the bride could do, and not try to read too much into it.

    Post # 11
    822 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i would be pissed.  for my wedding, i couldn’t fit everyone at the head table but i made sure spouses were at the table right next to the head table with my flower girl, flower girl’s parents, my brother, and his wife. on the opposite side of the room at the table right next to the head table were my parents and aunts and uncles.

    Post # 12
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @skyeatnight:  (I had to walk quite a distance to see the top table and my husband making his best man’s speech as the singles table was in a different room)

    If I was your husband, I would have mentioned something like:

    “And my wife who made all of this possible, where is she? Oh yeah, she’s in another room and can’t see or hear me!”

    I guess that would be rude, but at least the guests would know the bride was RUDE by separating you two in different rooms for the evening meal!

    Post # 13
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Wow, shes rude! I honestly dont care if it was her day or not..Thats still very rude considering that you as you didnt know her seated her near her man. If she didnt want you up there– she could have seated you and your husband near each other at least, ANYwhere else , so you wont feel isolated.


    Post # 14
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would have been really upset.  I also probably would have gone through the buffet, found a chair and squoze myself in next to my spouse or with relatives that I knew and would be ok spending an evening with.  I’m not normally in favor of countering rude behavior with more rude behavior but I’m not single and especially if I did not know any of those people, I would have felt very uncomfortable.  However, it’s over and done and there really is no point in remaining upset and bringing it up.  Now you know where you stand with this woman so don’t feel like you have to do her any more favors.

    To the PP who said that we had no idea about the time and circumstances for the seating chart, that is all well and good but she should have called OP and asked for her to sit there as a favor, not surprised her with  sticking her at a table full of strangers in the B list room.  The bride here was totally in the wrong by separating her SIL from her family and/or spouse. 

    Post # 15
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I’m of the mind that if your venue can’t accomodate all the guests within reasonable viewing/seating area of the “main event”, then you need to cut your guest list. It’s 1) unacceptable to put ANYBODY in another room except vendors or maybe children, and 2) You’re the WIFE of the best man. You should have been at a table close to the head table, or even AT the head table!

    Post # 16
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Hmmm.. it would have been fine if she sat you near the front. But all the way in the back? Hmmph.. I know you don’t spend much time at the table (I know I sit at my assigned seat only for dinner), but where is the consideration?

    The topic ‘I put her at my top table and she put me at the singles table :(’ is closed to new replies.

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