(Closed) I really don’t know how to handle any of this….

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

ok, definitely don’t say anything to her.  take a week to breathe and relax and you will realize that you need to be as excited for her as you possibly can.  while it is nice to have wedding party members who help plan, it is certainly not a prerequisite, and thinking that you will not be her Maid/Matron of Honor this early in the game is premature and a teensy bit negative.  give her a chance before you decide she’s not going to be as supportive as you’d like, and try and muster up as much energy as you can to focus on her specialness too, even if a 2 month courtship is absolutely absurd in my opinion lol.

Post # 4
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Do not even worry about it! One of my BMs is getting married a few months after me, we just exchange ideas all day at work it’s great! And my Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister who is going through her senior year of art school and graduating a week before the wedding! I don’t expect anything from my girls except to stand with me on the day. That is really what you pick them for, not to fill a job. Maybe she will want to plan with you, you can share visions and ideas. Don’t get upset yet! Remember that everything changes, what you’re upset about now may look completely different to you tomorrow.

Post # 6
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Crisark: haha not at all.  one thing that you may want to consider though- if they’ve only been together for 2 months (can you tell i’m having difficulty getting over this point?), they may not even make it all the way to the altar. 

Post # 8
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Crisark: also, part of her is probably jealous…thus the engagement to the guy she’s been with for 2 months….  (seriously, 2 months?)

Post # 11
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@Crisark:  Try to look at the positives… you can bounce ideas off each other and plan for BOTH weddings together.  FOUR of my six bridesmaids had engagements that overlapped mine.  It was AWESOME to share the experience with my closest friends.

Post # 12
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Crisark: yea I totally understand, its just something I do in my everyday life. I keep very low expectations, and then I can’t get hurt when they aren’t fulfilled. I know that my BMs will probably do an awesome job with my bach party and everything, but I know they have a lot on their plate themselves so I don’t expect them to be the most attentive bridesmaids ever 🙂 I have texted/emailed/called my sister everyday twice a day this week to get her accurate measurements and I never got them, so I ordered her a size up and she can deal with it! Just go and brush that shoulder off 😛 :dances:

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

….I’m worried now that she isn’t going to have time to really focus and plan with me for my wedding…… So, where is she going to have time to plan with me and be excited about my planning like she was supposed to be

!!!! (biting my tongue because i get that youre not trying to be the bad person here and youre entitled to how you feel)

as far as her only dating for 2mths well my hubby and i were friends and once we started dating we knew within 2 weeks – it happens and being friends beforehand often means you dont have to wait as long once you make the decision to share your life with that person

i think its great your friend is in love and is planning her life with someone – can you try to be happy for her at least?  give it some time and dont panic, maybe you can share alot of info and enjoyment in planning the 2 weddings together

Post # 14
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If they’ve only been dating for 2 months, I wouldn’t take it personally (if I were you) that you hadn’t met her Fiance that many times.  And try not to take it personally that she’s getting married this Fall.  Trust me, there’s gonna be a TON of time between her wedding and yours, and to be honest, you cannot expect your friend, no matter how close you are, to be as excited/involved in planning your wedding as you are.  You’re getting married because you’re in love, not so your friend can spend all her time gushing over and planning your wedding.  I think it’s great that you found a wonderful man and your life is going in the right direction, and it’s great that she found someone as well.  You guys can share stories, go to bridal shows, talk about your plans, etc. as much as you want since weddings will be on both your minds.

None of my best friends/bridesmaids are married or engaged, and I feel kinda weird talking to them about wedding stuff all the time (that’s what WB is for!).  I certainly don’t expect them to drop everything to focus on my wedding, I just want them to be supportive, try to show up to the shower/bachelorette/rehearsal, and wear the dress we picked out.  If they do all that, I’ll be thrilled!

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