Post # 1
Today was such a whirlwind of emotions for me. SO and I babysat his 8 year old cousin and his 5 year old cousin, both pretty well behaved but at times demanding.
The girl cousin who is 5 would NOT leave me alone. I’d go to the toilet, “when are you coming out? can I come inside? what are you doing in there?”. I go to the fridge, “what are you doing, are you getting something to eat? can I help? Are you still hungry?” OMG. When I asked her to sit still for a couple of minutes and play a game with her brother she sulked and cried, even pretended that a bee ‘stung her’ in the loungeroom so that I would still give her attention.
This went on for hours. I could put up with it for the first 3 hours of the morning, but after that I was exhausted. I sat and watched a Disney princess movie with her, where she asks me, “when you and Brad get married I will be flower girl and wear a pretty dress and throw flowers”. Worst part yet, when her mother came to pick her up the little cousin tells her mum and now SO’s aunty thinks it was my idea.
I have no idea what to say because his family think she is a little gem. She is adorable and I love her but if she was in our party she would not leave me alone. At home her mother babies her a lot and the kid cannot occupy herself, I hate to think what she would be like during a 45min Catholic service.. as well as being a flower girl. I’m sorry if I sound really horrible, I’m just so exhausted from today and have no idea what to do about this flowergirl situation 🙁
Post # 3
You don’t need to have a flower girl, but it might hurt a few feelings if you don’t have her as your flower girl now. I totally understand how awkward a position this is putting you in though, because on your big day, the last thing you want to deal with is an overly clingy child. But if your wedding isn’t until 2015, this little girl will be 2 years older and (hopefully) a bit more mature by then. 2 years can make a big difference at that age!
If you do decide to let her be your flower girl and she is still like this when your wedding comes around, you might want to ask one of your bridesmaids (or the kid’s mother) to run interference and keep the child in line during the ceremony/photos.
Post # 4
Yikes! I never really understood why so many people want flower girls/ring bearers…it is really sweet to include family mmebers, but every wedding I’ve ever been to the flower girl has either run away or been very distracting. And who can blame them, they’re kids! LOL. It’s not that I don’t like kids, I just think long wedding ceremonies aren’t really the best place for small children. My wedding is in the evening and we’ve made it completely child-free. Most people are ok with that and have known for months now.
However, like Summer Rose said, it would probably cause a lot of hurt feelings to back out now. I think things will work out, especially if she has a little time to mature.
Post # 5
Eh. Are you not having children at the wedding? If you’re not, keep a firm stance and she’ll get over it. If she’s invited, she and the other children invited, will be at the church anyway. I bet parents will escort them if they are fussy.
But no you don’t need them.
Post # 6
As hard as this will be, if I were you, I would nip this in the bud ASAP to avoid complications and hurt feelings later. You have no idea what is going to happen in your life between now and your wedding. You may want to make other plans for all sorts of reasons, and this suggestion truly wasn’t your idea. I would simply tell your SO’s cousin that the flower girl idea actually originated with her daughter. Tell her that, although you were taken by surprise and didn’t quite know what to say in response, you and your FI aren’t getting married for a long time, and you truly had never even discussed whether or not you would have a flower girl or ring bearer, and that you just wanted to let her (the little girl’s mom) know that this really is something that you and your FI will need to think about and discuss much closer to the wedding. Also, I don’t know if either of you has a sibling who could possibly have a child between now and your wedding, so there may even be a closer relative whom you may want to accommodate in that instance. (My DSD’s 23-month-old niece was her flower girl, and she was adorable.)
Post # 7
@Brielle: +1. Be honest, make it quick and painless.
Post # 8
My flowergirl got ready with me at the church! It was really fun.
That being said, I work in childcare. I LOVE kids. Nearly nothing they do irritates me.
If you don’t want a flower girl, don’t have one! But I think it’s sweet that she loves you so much, and just wants to spend time with you!
Post # 9
I would do like a PP suggested and nip it in the bud. But….is your wedding a year and a half from now? She will be almost 7 years old and will not act the same. I dont see why this is a big deal. She sounds like a typical (annoying) 5-year old to me.
Post # 10
You don’t need a flowergirl. You also don’t need to choose your wedding party now. See if you guys want her to do the job in another sixish months and make the decision then.
The next time it’s brought up around her parents, be honest and say that you haven’t decided yet, just like @Brielle: suggests.
Post # 11
If you really really don’t want a flower girl, talk to her mom now Before the thought is too engrained.
if you don’t want to ruffle feathers in the family, there is no reason a flower girl needs to get ready with you and your maids. Her mom can handle that. Then ask the mom to be sure she returns to the seat next to mom after her walk down the aisle. Also a year or two at this age can make a big difference. Her behavior sounds rather normal for a 5 year old who is enamorEd with someone…you
Post # 12
@sunshinewish15: you don’t need a flower girl, and you can just tell the mom how it happened, and that you aren’t planning on a flower girl at all, but you weren’t sure how to handle it, and you didn’t want to make a 5 year old cry. And that, is my run on sentence of the day.