- 2 months ago
okay, so here I am with more family drama. long story short (ha—jk) my dad has always been an insecure, controlling asshole and my mom has always been helplessly dependent upon him. the most recent occurrence is where he asked her where she was going (she was going to visit my grandmother in the nursing home, as she does 4-5x weekly) and she apparently provided an unfavorable response, so he punched her in the face.
so to get back at him, she took his credit card and went to the casino to cope by feeding her gambling addiction. gambling is the ONLY thing in my entire life I’ve seen them do together and enjoy, and of course it’s something destructive.
later on that day, of course he found out about her using his credit card and went fucking ballistic. the police were called, and my mom lied to them when they asked if he’d hit her “because she wanted to not disrupt her lifestyle”. they’re not rich, but she never has any money despite having worked a full-time job my entire life (the gambling addiction just started a couple years ago). he pays all the bills. while listening to my father scream in the background, my mother rebutted by calling out his functional illiteracy and how he raped her to produce *yours truly*. then turned the attention to me saying “yeah, happiekrappie, you hear your father in the background…you know how he is. this doesn’t even shock you, does it?! you grew up around it!” which I did…I was front-and-center for every knock-down, drag-out they ever had.
without fail, my parents have pulled me into their drama yet again and I’m feeling so stressed and conflicted. my dad is clearly the one with the majority fault here, but she also played a role and I’ve lost respect for both of them. I don’t know how to cope with this without completely cutting them both out of my life. my dad called today and I didn’t answer because I possess neither the time nor the patience to deal with him trying to rationalize his actions rather than accept accountability and admit he was wrong. my mother refuses to try gaining independence of her own, yet she’s always so unhappy and doesn’t hesitate in conveying that to me.
while my life isn’t near perfect, I’m a generally optimistic and happy person. I have more good days than bad, and while my relationship has it’s spats, I am happy in it. their relationship with each other just brings me so much grief and negativity, and it’s difficult to bear knowing that they’re in the situation due to their own choosing. it’s hard for me to be around (or even frequently talk to) unhappy people who refuse to help themselves, and they’re exhausting me. their unhappiness has been consistently consuming my thoughts for weeks, and it’s starting to have an effect on my feelings towards them both.
I don’t know if I’m asking for advice here, but I would appreciate any insight you may have. If you don’t have anything to say, thanks for just letting me vent.