(Closed) I (really) hate to complain, but I’m having a mini freak out here…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry to say but I think there is a high chance you will have over 100 people reply yes, especially if the engagement is even mildly long. I would strongly suggest looking at cutting your costs elsewhere if the guest list is unavoidable. A lunch reception? An off the beaten path venue? LOTS of DIY? 

In my experience, when I tried to cut the budget I did not skim at all the little things but rather went at the big ones with an axe. I’m talking dress, venue, flowers, and food; rings and honeymoon can sometimes apply here too. We’re having a 80 person wedding for under $5000. It’s definitely possible. 

Post # 4
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have never heard of that formula before.  If a lot of people have to travel for the wedding, you might be able to expect that they could decline.  But you might end up getting more than you think also.  We invited 100 and only had about 30-40 attendees.

Post # 5
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Take it from somebody who had about 40 “definite nos” turn out to be “absolutelys.”  Try your hardest not to overdo the guest list based on assumptions that people won’t come. You don’t want to feel a rush of panic and despair every time you open an rsvp envelope and find out someone else is coming.  It’s a hell of a way to spend the few weeks before your wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

it looks like your date is coming up fairly soon. Did you send out STDs? for the folks who are farther away, they would proably have to get a hotel, take off work etc, and if you didnt send out a STD then they MIGHT end up being a no…. but yeah….

with that many i would think it would put you closer to 100 at the least…unless you are super super sure that most of those folks arent coming.

100 is still small. I am waiting on my RSVPs to start coming in – we are shooting for NO MORE THAN 120 (thats huge for me, but small in our family standards since we have a big family) and we sent out about 153…. heres to hoping people cant get that weekend off…. but not TOO many…. *sigh*

Post # 7
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We had so many people who we were sure would never come- people who would have to fly, rent a car, spend money they didn’t have, and were in declining heath- say that not only were they coming, but they wanted to tack on uninvited extras too :-/

Luckily (though sadly!) we had some people who we thought were sure to attend, not be able to.  But my word of advice- cut back now if you don’t have the space!  We invited 110 and got 75…

Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Ms_Charisma: We invited 120 people,  knowing that the trek to get to our venue would deter a lot of them. Well, we have our final count in, and it’s 55. Imagine! We really lucked out, and I think you will also. The distance helps a lot. 

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I would think the Thursday would deter more people. I’ve learned formulas are unreliable (friend called me in hysterics the week before her wedding once – took me about ten minutes to figure out they were 10 over!) Cut now – or, if your Fiance is so adamant, then he needs to make and pay for contingency plans and if he is not willing to do that, sorry!

Post # 12
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh wow, I hope it works out!  I have no insight really.  Or at least any positive insight.  I know that several of the people we thought wouldn’t come, did in fact come.  And, there are always a few no shows (jerks).  I know, how helpful is that?  I really think he needs to come to terms with having to cut down the list! 

Post # 14
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re going for bigger than you are and we invited 252 and have 140 coming.  And 90%+ of our guests are Out of Town.  You’ll be surprised how many people (especially family) will decide to travel for your wedding.

Post # 15
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh, men! God love ’em but they just don’t get it. They assume everything will work out the way they want it to. There was that great line in “Walk the Line” where Johnny Cash says “I just assumed things would work themselves out” and June says, “Things do not work themselves out. Other people work them out FOR YOU and you think they’ve worked themselves out.”

My experience: I was SOOOOO stressed out waiting (HOPING) for noes because our venue simply could not hold more than 50. The actual number was actually supposed to be 45, but the guy said they could squeeze in 50 if they had to. I didn’t even invite much more than 50, but I was still totally freaking until my final numbers were in (it was close, but we squeaked in).

It might be OK, but I would really hesitate sending out that many invites if you want to/have to keep it to 60. I truly think you will go completely demented waiting for the noes. What people say about coming or not coming before you send the invitations means NOTHING, trust me on this. I would really try to convince your fiance of the value of the B-list, unless he is prepared to arrange for and pay for more guests. Run some numbers if you have to. Like, say to him, “If you’re wrong, this is what it will cost … are you comfortable with that?”

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