Post # 1
Okay bee’s, so this is nothing other than a silly little rant.. I am stressed to the max with the wedding 3 weeks away and am probably getting to mad/upset about things..
This past weekend was my bachelorette party. I got together for a weekend with my closest girlfriends (there was 7 of us total). My 2 bridesmaids and the friend whose house we stayed at were WONDERFUL in making sure the weekend was special for me (love them to death). My other 3 friends that attended were my old roommates and drove 3 hours to see me, which I appreciate but I am pretty disappointed in what they did..
First of all, My 2 bridesmaids (I do NOT have a Maid/Matron of Honor, just 3 bridesmiads.. one is my cousin though who I did not ask because she does not know them, we agreed to do something just us seperate) planned a lingerie party for the first night (Friday night). Now, I am not one for gift-grabbing… in fact, my aunt and cousin (BM) threw me a shower and I really stressed about who to invite because I felt uncomfortable having an event where I am basically asking for gifts.. but I was SUPER appreciative that the girls each brought a little something. All of it was super cute and I loved it.. However, one of my friends gave me chocolate syrup and sprinkles.. Now I get that it was a “gag gift” but I was like really.. The reason it rubbed me the wrong way was because she got married almost 3 years ago. During her planning, we were roommates so I was there for her during the ENTIRE process.. Now we have grown apart some so it is different but for her lingerie party, not only did I spent $40 on a nighty from VS, but I also bought her some stuff from (kinda a gag gift) from a pleasure party I went to with some girlfriends.. on top of that I paid 1/3 of the snacks and hors’dourves we served at her party. I probably spent $100 or more on this one occasion (and no, I was not in the wedding). Surely she has not forgotten all of this.. and I mean my bridesmaid told them 4 weeks in advance that they were doing this.. and this girl isn’t broke.. her and her husband have good jobs.. they just inherited a house, they bought a new car, they eat out ALL the time. Am I completely overreacting???
So anyways, that was Friday night.. I dealt with it.. Saturday we get up and our plans are ruined because of rain (we planned on doing something that was outside) so we just do what girls love.. shopping, lunch and mani’s. At lunch, the 3 girls who drove 3 hours together ask what time we are going out that night. I tell them I have no idea, we were going to go back to my friends house and hang out a bit then go out later.. They then tell me the think they are going to go ahead and head back after dinner… WHAT? They had told me all along how they were going to be there the whole weekend.. So at 6:30, they left.. Which turned out okay, I had more fun with my 2 bridesmaids and our other friend because I am closer with them and we are all friends where they other 3 are sort of like another “click” of mine.. but still.. who does that???
Thanks bees.. just needed to vent!!
Post # 3
@Brooklyn55: Aww sweetie, you sound like you could just use a hug. 🙂 We all need to vent from time to time, and I totally understand where you’re coming from! Sorry things didn’t quite work out the way you had planned!
Post # 4
Sorry things didn’t work out the way you hoped. I do think you’re over reacting about the gift (or lack of gift) you received. She got you something, she probably didn’t realize there was a minimum spend threshold she was supposed to meet. To me it sounds like a funny gag gift, perfect for a bachelorette party.
Post # 5
awww sometimes ppls don’t know how to put other ppl first. You then see what kind of person they really are. Great that you had a good time without them, maybe they would have dragged the mood down anyways
Post # 6
@FortiesFlare: I think if you really knew this girl you would understand. When it was her wedding and parties she was ALL particular.. In fact, for her bachelorette party/lingerie party she sent us “select styles” from VS that she liked.. When my bridesmaids asked what I liked, I told them that I did not care and I was not particular about it being from VS, that I thought TJ maxx, aerie, etc. had super cute stuff as well and could save them money. All of my friends have jobs, etc but a lot of them are teachers/comsomotologist/work for non-profits so I knew they were not loaded. & the last thing I wanted was them to spend a fortune. Its whatever really but if I was her I would have been EMBARASSED to show up with that when all of our friends know how effort and money I put into ALL of her wedding eventsIn fact, all my friends made comments about it when she was around.. I tried to be the nice one and just say “its whatever, maybe she forgot” but I needed to vent on here, because, honestly in my opinion its not acceptable unless you have circumstances that prevent you from being able to do something (which I assure you she does NOT).
@v_smoothie: Yea I know what you mean.. and its hard for me because I am one of those all around people pleasers. 2 of the 7 of us were already married and during the entire process of their planning, the lingerie party/bridal showers/ bachelorette party I did everything I could for them (I wasn’t even a bridesmaid and spend over $300 on various gifts and food for the parties on each of the events and traveling expenses to their hometowns). Luckily, we still have fun. There is a reason I asked the two girls I did to be bridesmaids– they are the absolute best!
Post # 7
@pengoala: Thanks! I know I need to just let it all go.. there is nothing I can do but better vent on here than be bitter towards them. Even if I shouldn’t feel this way, I can’t help that I do.
Post # 8
@Brooklyn55: It sucks things dont turn out the way you want or people act not the way you expect them to act, especially when you were so supportive and giving when it was her time. However, try to brush it off, I know its easier said than done, but you will see that once you are married to the man of your dreams, none of this will matter anymore. Girls can be so difficult sometimes. Im glad, however, you had fun after they head back home, maybe it was for the best.
Post # 9
@Brooklyn55: I agree, I would’ve been disappointed as well. With the gift and mostly with the girls wanting to leave so soon when it was supposed to be a whole weekend thing. I’ve been to bachelorette parties and I understand how it can be clique-ish with girls and some girls feel uncomfortable. I remember two in general that I was at where you could cut the tension with a knife. It was like one set of friends on this side and another on the other side. It was super uncomfortable. Maybe that was going on and you weren’t even aware of it. Definitely dont assume it was anything about you. All you can do at this point is just let it roll off your back. Im trying to take the whole approach of “in a year will all of this really matter?” it sometimes helps! Best of luck to you!
Post # 10
I like the advice to not assume this is all about you. It likely had nothing to do with you and everything to do with other factors. Focus on the good and all will be fine.
I think it’s great you had a great time with the other gals.