Post # 1
Sorry for the rant. I will try to make it short, I promise! Basically we have found a lovely restaurant which we would like to have our reception. For $70 pp they offer room hire, table set up with linen, 3hr alcohol and soft drink packages, a half hour of cocktail canapes and a three course meal (which all the meals and desserts look amazing and taste great too!)
Anyway, we told Future Mother-In-Law the package we have looked at and she says it’s a good price but she wants a buffet. Not, “Have you looked into the buffet, did it look nice?” just, “I want a buffet.”
So basically before we put down a deposit (we are going to keep looking as the venue allows you to save your desired date for 2 weeks before finalising a deposit) we are discussing the menu with my family and choosing what we would like. Future Mother-In-Law rings every few days to ask if we are having the buffet and which three meat dishes we are having in our buffet! UGH! I have asked her why she would rather a buffet and she says it’s not fair for the guests to go hungry and a buffet allows them to eat as much as they want. :/
Please not I have absolutely nothing against buffets, I just like the thought (and so does FI) about having an elegant three course meal since our engagement party was a buffet. Any thoughts on how to handle this?
Post # 3
Maybe tell her that you are looking at options outside of just buffets, or that very few people have ever starved on a three course meal with cake.
Post # 4
Just explain that you feel a sit down dinner is more elegant and fits better with your wedding in general
Id definitely be standing my ground – sounds like a great deal 🙂
Post # 5
I would tell her that you and Fiance would like to change things up from the engagement party and have an elegant 3 course meal. Tell her nicely that there will be plenty food for everyone and that no one will go hungry. Also mention how you’d hate to have your guests wait in line for the food, especially the older people. I would mention that the guests would be waited on hand and foot and everyone will be taken care of. 🙂
Post # 6
It’s your wedding, your food, go with what you want because I can guarantee you’ll regret it if you don’t.
Post # 7
@GreenDream: Like x a million 🙂 Perfect comeback.
Post # 8
Your wedding, not your FMIL’s, and plated meal is definitely enough food! Is she contributing to the cost of food and drink for the wedding? If not she gets NO say. If she is, she gets some say, but the decision is ultimately yours of what food, etc you serve and how it is served
Post # 9
I don’t get it, it’s your wedding right? Why does she get to choose a buffet when you guys have already chosen a plated meal? I think your Fiance needs to handle this situation.
Post # 10
Can you show her pictures of the portion sizes of the plated meal? I know I have been to plated dinners with very skimpy portion sizes, and a buffet would have alleviated some of that. But I have also been to plated dinners with big portions. Maybe ask your caterer the standard size or some pic of the dinner may help ease her mind.
Post # 11
Go with the sit down meal. Be straight forward with her and just tell her you value her thoughts but you will be having a sit down meal.
Post # 12
@sunshinewish15: i guess whoever is paying gets the final say. but tell her this is your and your FI’s wedding and you always dreamed of having a seated dinner.
BTW buffets are usually more expensive that sitdown because they have to prepare more food not knowing how much people are going to take.
Post # 13
If this is what you and Fiance want then go with that, and be honest with your Mother-In-Law about that. Just say, “We like the elegant feel of a sit down rather than a buffet, so that is what we will be doing for our wedding.”
Post # 14
Is she paying for it? If not, simply smile and say we will take that into consideration and do exactly what you originally planned.
Post # 15
@sunshinewish15: Unless she’s paying for the entire wedding then I think you just say calmly and firmly that you’ve decided to go with the plated dinner.
I think its a little silly to think anyone is going to go hungry with a three course plated dinner. If they want to gorge themselves they can hit the Golden Corral on the way home.