(Closed) I really need advice

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
263 posts
Helper bee

@stressedandmorestressed:  You gave him your condition (propose or you won’t move) and he agreed. You’ve answered your own question, love. Stick to your guns! You two are old enough to know it’s time or not. When he sees you not packing up, he’ll either promise you right then and there, or he won’t. Then you’ll know.

Post # 5
397 posts
Helper bee

If you seriously wouldn’t move to be with him, then don’t.  I wouldn’t compromise how I feel no matter how much I love the person.  If it’s only 4 hours away, how easy would it be to visit and do the long distance thing?  That might put things into perspective.

Post # 6
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

dont move

Post # 7
522 posts
Busy bee

You said you are between jobs. Are there more prospects for you in the area where he will be moving? Only if it were beneficial to you career wise would I move without an engagement.

Honestly though it sounds like he’s not ready. The fact that you mentioning it causes him to freak out and say that you’re pressuring him and he’s not ready isn’t a really good sign.

I would only move if you are OK with being ringless for a while. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready to get down on a knee anytime in the soon future.

Post # 8
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Don’t move.  Tell him when he proposes, you’ll move with him.  End the conversation of weddings there.  And consider that he might never propose – would you stay with him if you aren’t married?  If not, maybe you give yourself a personal-secret-walk-date. 

Post # 9
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you hadn’t already put that condition to him I would say take a risk and follow your heart, but if he you move with him he will think he doesn’t have to propose. So I think you should wait it out, try a long-distance and hopefully he will see he wants you out there! You haven’t been dating that long, I’m surprised that he has been promising this for so long but obviousely he isn’t quite ready. You need to stick to your guns if you are really desperate for a proposal.

If you just love him and want to live for now, and that ring isn’t the be all and end all,  then move with him

Post # 11
2935 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

If this is really important to you — and it sounds like it is — I think you need to stick to what you’ve said. Plan to go forward from here as if he is NOT proposing and he is moving without you. If you want to, add that you still love him and want to be in a relationship with him, but that it will obviously have to be long distance for now. Either he’ll move without you and miss you terribly and propose within a year, or he’ll realize he doesn’t want to propose and things will end naturally. EITHER WAY, even though one result might make you very sad, in the long run you will be on the path that’s the right one for you.

Post # 12
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I believe at his age (which is close to my age) he knows if it is right or not at this point. He should have sown his wild oats and matured and be ready to settle down with the person he feels is right for him.

He knows your conditions. If he doesn’t propose, I would not move if marriage is truely important to you. His words may be saying he isn’t ready, etc but his actions are telling you that he has doubts he is in this relationship for the long haul. Anytime with men if the words and actions are saying 2 different things…listen to the actions.

Post # 14
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@stressedandmorestressed:  I think he should know by now. If you move I’m wondering if you guys will ever get engaged since everything will stay the same. Will you be ok in the relationship if you never get married? 

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