(Closed) I really need some advice! FH is throwing a wrench in this planning thing!

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

With all due respect I think you should relax a little and let him have the silver vest.  Its not going to be that big of a deal at all in the grand scheme of things. Don’t over think it to much.  Give him a pink boutennier and call it a day.  

No one is going to be commenting on his silver vest- and he’ll feel dashing on HIS DAY too.


Post # 4
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Agreed. Let him have silver and then just put the groomsmen in pink. He’ll stand out as the groom and he’ll be happy. If that’s what he feels handsome and comfortable in, then let him go for it.

Post # 5
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

you should know that I love to read all of your posts and they give so much perspective, so thanks for being you.  That said, I think you should take a deep breath.  Step back. In the grand scheme of things a silver vest is no biggie.  Get the other groomsmen to wear black, and then FH will look distinguished and special.  I personally am not having any specific colors (going more for a feel) and I have found it to be soooo freeing.  My Future Mother-In-Law thinks I’m crazy, but whatever.  I totally get not wanting to give up some control or not wanting to change something that you have obsessed over for months (me too! I have my own issues), but sometimes you just gotta let go.  good luck!!!!

Post # 6
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree with everyone above. I love reading everyone’s posts on here (about to make my own about my wedding planning drama) but I laughed when you said "I feel cornered" ummm.. don’t you think maybe your Fiance feels cornerned? He’s giving you everything, most men wouldn’t have a mainly pink wedding at all. (that’s definately a girl thing) so the man wants to choose HIS tux. What he’s going to wear on the most important day of HIS LIFE also. 

Soooo in my opinion, back off of it. Let him have it. In reality our men don’t complain or ask for much when it comes to wedding planning. They’re pretty content in us just telling them when and where to be and leaving all the details to us.  (And you DO NOT have to incorporate any of the silver in your wedding at all. Let it just be for him and him alone. It’s NOT going to hurt your color scheme.

So give him the battle. He’s giving you the war.   πŸ™‚

Post # 7
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2006

I agree.  We did the whole black thing in the tuxes.  My wedding colors were also pink, white and black.  However, we added silver touches…the girls and I wore silver shoes, the ribbons on the programs were silver, our favors had pink, silver and black ribbons, etc. 

In the end, I am sure no one will really notice, and if the other groomsmen wore black vests and ties, it will let FH stand apart (my husband wore a white vest and tie…did you try that one on???  It might work for him).


I hope all goes well, but I understand not liking change either, I am the same way!


Post # 8
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I totally understand. Three colors are more than two, and four colors seems like a lot. In the end, silver is rather neutral and may end up looking great in photos, so if silver is what he ends up going with, it is not the worst thing that could happen (what if he wanted purple, with paisleys??). However, in an effort to preserve your wedding color scheme, have you tried a white tie/vest combo? I think that looks really classy as well. Alternatively, you could take him to another place and try on a different black which may look better with the tux than the one he tried on. My sympathies go out to, and good luck with the chaos!

Post # 9
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I totally understand. Mr. SnowPea and his groomsmen went out and rented black tuxes with a pinstripe in it and baby blue vests (because they didn’t have a good blue that matched the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses) and nothing else looked very good. Although it was slightly off from what I envisioned, it all looked cohesive and nice on the big day. Trust his judgement, otherwise he won’t go along with anything ever again of yours. The groom should be a little different anyway.

Post # 10
8 posts
  • Wedding: May 2008 - Dunegrass Golf Club

This must be frustrating :/  I can totally see Mr. BG pulling a similar stunt… we haven’t gone down that path yet.  But if I’m picturing this correctly, I think the silver might look nice.  Your colors are black, pink, and white… even if he wears a silver vest, you don’t need to change your color scheme or incorporate the silver into your bouquet or anything.  The silver vest can just be what distinguishes the groom from the groomsmen (make them wear the pink – it’s not their wedding!).  Hope everything works out πŸ™‚

Post # 12
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

i think silver works in to most color schemes nicely… it definitely would look good with pink, black, and white. adds a little sparkle. πŸ™‚

i say, let him wear silver. of course, i say this as i am trying to convince my Fiance to wear a black suit, when he wants to rent a tux… πŸ™‚

Post # 13
4 posts

I’d play the card, "Her day, his night". πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
5 posts

Are your rings white gold or platinum?  If so, then you already have your silver.  Ask your caterer to add china with the silver rims and crystal with the silver rims too!  Buy your bridesmaids/matrons silver jewelry and ask the florist to add a single silver colored pearl to each of the boutonniere. 

When planning a wedding you only need two primary and two accent colors.  I think you needed another accent color anyway.  Ask the MOG to wear a pink and silver dress.  And see if MOB will wear a silver and pink or black and silver dress.  If you are a photographer, you can see this in your mind as leveling things out!

Trust me!

Post # 16
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

you could also maybe wrap your bouquet with a silver ribbon just to have a small detail that could pick up the silver in his vest on your ensemble.

Just a thought. 

The topic ‘I really need some advice! FH is throwing a wrench in this planning thing!’ is closed to new replies.

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