(Closed) I really need some advice!

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Aw Bee I’m sorry, this is a sucky situation! But honestly, you just need to focus on your relatonship and as hard as it may be ignore her! Their relationship didn’t work out for a reason..and she is just struggling to move on clearly. I’d pity her myself because she hasn’t got anything better to do with her life. 

Has your fiance spoken to his famly about how this is affecting your relationship? Sadly this is something that only he can deal with really as it’s his familes relationship with the woman. 

I hope this gets better for you!

Post # 3
Member
4100 posts
Honey bee

littlemrs2016:  Unfortunately you can’t dictate the relationship that his family has with the ex, nor can he. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you need to just get over it. Right now she has power over you because you ALLOW her to. He loves YOU. He is marrying YOU. She is only a factor in your relationship because you’re allowing her to be. Period. She wants to get under your skin. And you’re giving her exactly what she wants. Ignore her, stop worrying about the relationship she has with your Future In-Laws, and stop choosing to let her be an issue in your relationship with your Fiance.

Post # 4
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I know you said spare you the “you’re young” comments…but you *are*.  By my calculations at the oldest you are around 20-21.  This is all petty drama.  Plus the fact that your fiance is letting this whole ex thing continue to an unhealthy level.  You are right in the fact that he should be the one establishing boundaries and talking to his family.  Obviously his ex is trying to get to you and to him and it is working.  She will continue to do so until he is the one to put a stop to it.

Facebook and social media are weird.  People get weird about it.  You are putting a hell of a lot of stock in the things his ex and his family are doing on social media.  On the same token, this is showing you that he is unwilling to put up boundaries with his family to support you.  Trust me, that isn’t something you want in a life partner.

Post # 5
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

You can’t do anything about how his family feels about the ex. By all accounts you seem to get along with them just fine, so it’s not like they dislike you, but you can’t make them dislike her. Just know that he picked you, and no matter what the ex does, or who in the family she communicates with, none of that can ruin your relationship with him, or his family, unless you allow it to.

 

Post # 6
Member
437 posts
Helper bee

I get this, but one thing you did say was the girl deleted your Fiance number because he told her off. That’s a good sign. He clearly loves uou and not her:) as for him not saying anything to his sister, I think he proved that he doesn’t care about the girl by telling her off, and that he just doesn’t want to start family drama because he loves them. I think he made an effort, but doesn’t want to fight with his family. You have your Future Mother-In-Law on your side which is great. So I feel like you have support, your Fiance doesn’t like his ex and stood up for you once before, so at this point there is nothing more to be done. 

I know it’s annoying when people say just let it go, but I think that’s all you can do. Think of it this way, when you look beautiful at your wedding, have children, and succeed in life, SHE is the one who has to look at those pictures!!:) 

Post # 9
Member
4100 posts
Honey bee

littlemrs2016:  block her (the ex) on FB. Then you won’t see her posts or anything she is tagged in by your Future In-Laws. Problem solved! 

Post # 11
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

Ignore his families attempts to upset you, block the ex on facebook – that way you shouldn’t see that she’s even liked or commented on anything.

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