- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
So, if you read my previous post, Fiance and I broke up right before I got my ring in the mail. We talked and worked things out. Things were good. He has two kids that he does not include me in that life. He tells me he is going to move in with me but he doesn’t. Every other weekend he goes home when he has one of his kids. In the beginning he kept trying to push his child on me (I don’t like children and I thought it was inapproriate to bring me into his childs life if we didn’t know we were going to be together for good). When we got serious I kept telling him I wanted to hang out with her. He said, “yes, yes” and then never did anything about it. That really upset. I think we all hung out a total of two times. Xmas, Easter, and birthdays I buy her stuff and have Fiance give it to her. (His other baby mama comes to all holiday’s and birthdays…I am not invited. That’s a whole other story) I told him this weekend we really need to build a relationship since we are getting married and that he is going to move in with me in the future. I told him since he had the day off work saturday he should bring her over friday night and saturday we would hang out. He said she would like that…that was the end of that. So, I assumed he was staying home. I go out after work on friday and I get a text that says, “do you need anything from the store?” I took that as he was coming over. I was upset because his communication skills are horrible. I had plans since he never made any plans with me. So, I hightailed my booty back home to clean up and shower. He shows up with his kid who turned out to be sick! I told him, it would have been nice if he would have told me. He says, “I did. I asked if you needed anything from the store.” Umm…that is not telling me they were coming over and that was 6pm on Friday. His child is sick and feels like poo. She spends the whole night crying and throwing up. He was out with her on the couch all night (she was too afraid to sleep in the spare bedroom) because she was crying. (she’s seven) I hear her say to him, “Daddy I don’t want you to fall in love! I don’t want to stay here.” Later he tells me I”m a crazy bitch and that she never said that. I sent him a text saying that I think they should go home because she is so sick and wants to go home. His phone rings because he left it in my room. I open it up and see a text from his baby mama telling him that he needs to think about his child so I open it up. She is mad that he wanted to bring her daughter to my house especially because she is sick. She said that his mom agreed and he should be a good dad and stop being selfish. (I’m like 80-100 miles away so it’s not like I live around the block!!) Well, he tends to make me look like the big bad Fiance so I sent her mom a text back saying that I totally agree with her. He should not have brought her over my house and that he didn’t even tell me or even tell me that she was sick! and that yes, he tends to be selfish and needs to think about his child. I told him that him and his child need to leave because she is so sick and needs to be home where everything is familiar. He gets mad at me and tells me that I fucked everything up and that now her mom has called the friend of the court and is trying to take his kid away. Later after he leaves and sends me a bunch of mean texts he lets it slip that he LIED to her mother and his mother and NONE of them knew he was bringing her over!! And then blamed everytihing on me how I’m such a crazy bitch, starting shit because I’m a crazy bitch and that his kid is going to be taken away. He told his child to LIE to her mom and not tell her he brought her to my house!! I said that’s why she was up all night with a tummy ache and crying. That is not something you make a child do. He says it’s my fault that she’s so scared to go home because her mom is mad and I’m such a bitch and sent her mom that text. I am not a mother but I told him that what he did was really fucked up and not my fault. Her mother is completely right and her child should not be at a strange place while she is sick and he sure should not have told his child to lie to her mom!! How was I supposed to know that he lied to everyone and no one knew she was really at my house?! I told him, “What would have happend if she got really sick or you guys got into a car accident and no one knew where you were>!>?!” He replied with that he can take care of his kid just as good at my house as he can anywhere else. I totally agree with her mom and I would be extremely pissed if my baby daddy did this to me!! He’s so crazy that he keeps telling me that she was having such a great time at my house and i’m a horrible bitch that kicked them out. She cried all night and did not want to be there. If I was sick, I would not want to be somewhere strange 1+ hours away! I’ve tried to rationalize with him but all he keeps doing is calling me names and telling me to never talk to him again. I know I’m right and I should just let it go, but I am so hurt. I told him that I know he is arguing with his baby mama like he is me and he should just suck it up and say sorry , he made a mistake and that it will never happen again. But he keeps blaming me for everything. I didn’t know that he lied to everyone where his child was and I just wanted her to know that she was right and that he was the one who blindly brought over a sick kid who should be at home. I told him if I wanted to be malicioius I could tell her that he leaves his child with his pothead mom who grows marijuanna in her house but I never have. Me telling baby mama she was right was in no way malicious. I just wanted her to know that I am on her side and he should have made a better parental decision. I know I should be happy I’m out of this mess but it hurts me so much that I have been so nice about everything and accepting of him including his other baby mama who is invited to every holiday and birthday while I sit at home like the loser Fiance. Mind you, he lies she is there and I find out through FB. I know that I am better off without him but it hurts so much to be blamed for his mistakes and that I have been so nice about everything and just want him to realize that his children are number one priority and he should realize that. I feel a lot better typing these things out and I need to realize that some people are just crazy and will blame everything on you. Then when I tell him I will respect his wishes and never speak to him again he tells me, “Whatever.” I just can never win. I’m not perfect but I at least say that I’m sorry and admit my mistakes. He never will. My cats are busy sleeping to “listen” to me, lol so I just wanted to bitch on here and maybe get some encouragement. It’s always hard even when you know it’s the best thing. He even got mad at me yesterday when I returned my wedding ring (so humiliating). Um, you told me we are over so why wouldn’t I?!?! AHHH!!!!