(Closed) I really really need some advice!! Please please help!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Whoa! That’s a ton of debt. This would be a deal breaker for me for sure. It’s great that he wants to be a nice guy and brother but he can’t put his brother ahead of the stability of your life together. Let him know in no uncertain terms that if he signs your life away like that you’ll be out the door. 

Post # 5
Member
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would hope he wouldn’t do it. You asked him not to and gave very valid reasons for doing so. Don’t rush into filing for divorce if he does; you do have a baby on the way, and part of marriage is working through things. But DO let him know it will take a LOT of work on his part to repair the damage if he signs against your wishes.

Post # 6
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Making it grounds for divorce is a little harsh to me,  but I will definately express my concern and tell him that you are protecting both of your future and your child’s and co-sgining a loan for this amount will impact your financial future so he shouldn’t do it.

Post # 6
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

No way should he cosign for a loan in that size…. his brother needs to take care of his debt the right way and SMART way and not by getting another loan to pay it all off.

Big no no…. and yes, it’s unlikely that it will fix his problems and he actually get it paid off.. especially with his thought process and reasoning to get it.

Money does NOT fix money problems or debt… discipline and NOT living above your means is what fixes money problems.

Post # 7
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If the brother defaults on the loan, the bank will expect your husband to pay it.  Unless your husband has an extra $100,000 in the bank sitting around in case he needs to pay it off, he needs to run from this situation!

Post # 7
Member
5843 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know I’d divorce him but this is a no brainer to me. There is no way he should be co-signing a 100k loan.

Post # 8
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

No no no. Not with a baby, new marriage and wanting to buy a house. Hell no. Good luck. Keep us posted.

Post # 9
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

I say don’t rush to “what ifs”. You said your piece (and I agree) and gave very valid reasons for it.

You are now married and therefore you are responsible for any debt he incurs as well. Remind him of this as well and that you do not want to take on the debt. That this is not open for discussion.

Then see what he does. Trust he does what you want him to.

Post # 10
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You are absolutely in the right. I don’t know what I would personally do in the event that he signed it against my knowledge, but I can understand how you would consider divorce. That is a HUGE decision that could affect both of you and your unborn child for a huge portion of your lives. Deceiving you on something so significant is about as dishonest and untrustworthy as one can get. I would doubt my marriage after that, too.

I hope your husband comes to his sense and puts his new family first.

Post # 11
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d HOPE he wouldn’t do it. What with it being for 100K and you having a baby on the way and future plans! I don’t know if it would be grounds for divorce (in my opinion) but I would be really upset if he signed it.

Post # 12
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds quite messy.

I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to take on a loan in this situation, nor is it right for him to do so when he knows the timeline for your future home purchase and oh, the baby being on the way! 

Your brother-in-law has some balls.

I don’t know what I would do in the situation. I would probably say, “let’s go see a lawyer and see what he says about going into a loan like this at present.” Maybe that will scare him.

My feelings are that your husband won’t do this without your consent, though. He called you right away, which is a good sign.

 

Post # 13
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee

There is absolutely NO way your husband should do this. Your husband will be negatively affected if your Brother-In-Law does not pay on time. I understand he’s a nice guy but this is a horrible idea. Have your DH tell Brother-In-Law there’s no way he can do it since you will purchase a house in the near future. 

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