(Closed) I regret getting a dog

posted 7 years ago in Pets
Post # 62
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@chickspartan:  Not that stupid. People do that with human babies all the time before they are ready.

Post # 63
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@chickspartan:  Dogs are resilient. Your dog will adjust. Given your expressed inability and unwillingness to give the dog the life she deserves, I feel it would be selfish to keep her. You’re attached, so it’s fair to give her an unbalanced life? There are folks out there – like me – who will dedicate the resources to properly raise a dog. 

I’m not trying to be mean and sorry if it came across that way. You’ve acknowledged the problem and I do hope you make the right choice – hiring a trainer or rehoming her – for everyone involved. 

Post # 64
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

What about doggy daycare?

Post # 65
Member
963 posts
Busy bee

I think you should work on being better pet parents than give the dog away. My cousin had to give up her dog when she had kids (the dog got depressed so she thought it would do better in a family with older children) and the dog was super depressed and developed a bad rash at the new home. The family gave her back, and the rash cleared up almost instantly. Stress maybe? Whatever the reason, she wasn’t happy that her owners gave her up.

I think you can work on this. You just have to be more motivated. Think about the puppy and what he needs. Hire a trainer, doggy daycare, etc. You can do this. 

I know a lot of people are comparing it to a child. They have a good point though. If there was an accidental pregnancy and you had a child but had a tough time taking care of it, you would probably do the best you could and get through it. You should do the same with this puppy. Things will be better when he’s older.

Post # 67
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

First off, comparing a dog to a child is ridiculous.  A child is a human being, a dog is an animal. I know lots of great parents who make terrible owners, and vice versa. And I respect OP more for admitting that she has considered rehoming her dog, than people who would keep a dog when they know they can’t properly care for it. And until you’ve had to make that decision, you can’t accurately say what you’d do.

 

OP, one thing I’d urge you to do is, if you are giving the dog to a shelter or rescue, find out how long they keep the animals and what they do if they can’t adopt them out. I know we have a lot of so called “no kill” shelters, but what they don’t tell you is they send them to the city’s animal control when they reach the end of their time. That way they can maintain their “no kill” status and make animal control the bad guys.

 

Post # 69
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@aggie2010:  This is great advice! We have an amazing dog who is a little over a year and we just moved and he’s now experiencing SA. We never had an issue in the past and it has been breaking my heart. Your advice right here sums up everything I’ve read and the phrase “party of one” just makes it sound as positive as it should be! Thanks for posting to OP!

Post # 70
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

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@chickspartan:  I think you have come to a good decsion.  It is tough to figure out what is right sometimes.  Giving it one more shot will at least let you know that you did everything in your power to make it work.  And, if it doesn’t, so be it.  She will still know more love that she would have had in her previous situation.  Good luck and best wishes to all three of you.

Post # 71
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If we take all the emotion out of this, I think it’s brave that you actually share this here. Let it be a cautionary tale for everyone who is on the verge of making the mistake of getting a pet they’re not right or ready for, and who are not prepared properly through research etc. 

Have you considered that a dog might not be the best pet for you? I’m not sure if having a dog is something you can be ‘ready’ for – honestly it sounds more like it’s the wrong choice for you. Having a dog is much more of a full-time lifestyle extra job than having a cat for instance (I’ve had a dog as a kid and we have a cat now.) – as much as I would like to have a dog I know what it takes, and our lifestyle isn’t one that would match up with those demands. Our kitty is our little baby – and the fact that she can use the litterbox and doesn’t depend on us to come home and walk her is one thing out of many that makes us able to care well for her which would be very different were she a dog. But honestly, at the end of the day, I think personal maturity has a lot to do with whether or not you’re able to rise to the challenge of caring for a dog once you realise it wasn’t what you were dreaming of. 

I hope you find her a good home. It doesn’t sound like an ideal situation. I’m really one of those people who thinks that pets are lifetime commitments, but unless you’re able to change it sounds like she’d be better off somewhere else… 

Post # 72
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@bnamrs4evr:  Just wanted to say that this wasn’t harsh at all– it is full of great tips! I mentioned to another poster that our amazing dog is having SA (the only symptom is barking for 15-20 minutes after he finishes the kong I leave him with when I go to work) after moving into our new house. We have a huge fenced in yard and we’ve been working on exercising him out there for 20 min minimum in the mornings (even though it’s snowing and we both have to go to work). We’re implementing all the techniques we’re hearing and the more the merrier! I think this is full of some great information!

Post # 73
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@chickspartan:  so many of my college friends got dogs and regretted it. i think it nearly broke up relationships, destroyed friendships/living arrangements etc

I got 2 cats instead. <3 them to death. Though I love dogs, I feel like their dependency is like caring for a child while cats are more confident being alone in their surroundings

I feel like my cat owns me vs. me owning my cat does that make sense?

I see myself adjusting my behavior around the house like putting the toilet seat down, putting things away/out of reach more often so that the cat will not get to them, makes me a better person 

also I clean more due to litter box smells

with a dog, I babysat for a little bit, my apartment was torn apart and I definitely cried a bunch due to losing a lot of my free time.

Post # 74
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@TheDistrictBee:  This is SUCH an amazing way to frame the dog/child comparison! I work in mental health with children and I see, first hand, the negative impact of families who don’t have the resources or desire to parent their children but don’t want to “give them up” because of the stigma attached (or the decrease in aid they’ll receive– don’t even get me going). I think a lot of people are terrified to admit they’re overhwelmed with all that goes into parenthood and it’s so ridiculous that society makes people feel like they should know this going in or that it means they love their child less. To admit a person doesn’t feel capable of giving a child all they deserve is to love a child more than you love yourself. It’s actually pretty incredible. This obviously isn’t the same as just giving up a child because you don’t want to bother  with them.  You’re 100% correct.

Post # 75
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@chickspartan:  Please do not use a shock collar!

We use a citronella bark collar with our dog, whenever we leave the house. It releases that chemical and dogs hate the smell of it so they won’t bark to avoid it.

Our dog rarely barks. When we first adopted her we thought she was mute because she had been with us for a couple of weeks and we had no heard her any sound coming from her. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks that someone came to visit and she started barking.

Our dog only barks if she feels scared (like when new people visit the house) or if left alone.  We found from our neighbors that she was barking super loud and non- stop whenever she was alone, so we tried the citronella collar and it made her stop. Give it a try! 🙂

Post # 76
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Whatever happens, please don’t leave the dog at a shelter. I volunteer at a no-kill shelter, but there are already too many strays that need basic shelter and food. You can still provide those to your animal, no matter how much of a burden the dog might be on your home. The spaces in the shelter need to be reserved for animals who have no families and no other resources.

And leaving her with a breed-specific rescue will essentially be like leaving her with a shelter — often times, those rescues have much less funding than major organizations like the Humane Society and if the dog still has behavioral issues, she won’t be likely placed with a family (and breed-specific rescues are often looking for homes that have backyards, i.e. families). Breed-specific rescues often don’t have a board of trustees or much oversight in general so if a dog is taking up too much space, they will often be placed at a kill-shelter in the end.

 

I think most of the other comments on here have made it pretty clear that are lots of other steps you should take before giving up the dog. You should put it into professional training, hire a dog sitter/walker to visit during the day if you are working long hours, and more time exercising it. Will this cost additional time and money? Yes. Do you owe that time and money to your dog? YES. Personally, I don’t think you deserve judgment, but you also don’t deserve sympathy. Caring for any living thing — human or animal — will be difficult and time consuming. It doesn’t matter to your dog whether you knew that going into the adoption process or whether you are just now realizing it. He deserves every shot at a happy life with the person who adopted him and the person he considers his parent — YOU.

 

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