(Closed) I regret getting a dog

posted 6 years ago in Pets
Post # 77
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

awww it reminds me of when i first got my puppy!. It was years ago , but I had him when he was still being bottle feed b/c the mom had passed away. So imagine waking up in the middle of the night to bottle feed a crying puppy… but it got better overtime, once he was fully trained. Trust me, i went through him howling at night too b/c he had to sleep in the basemnet for one week until he was finally broken from his habit of sleeping him my room. But just be patient. the puppy will get trained it just takes time . I still have my dog for 11 years now. So happy i didnt give him away Laughing

Post # 78
4858 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should talk to a vet about separation anxiety. Also have them reffer to a trainer. Do not use shock collars or anything that causes pain as that will only increase anxiety. Try a thunder shirt also. Try an anti pull harness. Ask the vet to help re-locate the dog to a home or to somewhere no-kill to locate an appropriate owner. 

Post # 79
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@CharleighT:  Thank you so much!  I was really feeling a little worried about what I said.   I love dogs and have always had multiples.  We currently have 5 with one waiting in the wings to come home.  She is totally unadoptable to anyone else but, unfortunately, there has to be some attrition at my house before she can come home.  I see her everyday at work though. Three of our current five are rescues and also wouldn’t be adoptable anywhere else but we love them and have put them through their paces and they are all great. We accept their challenges and manage them the best we can.

It sounds like you are on the right track with your SA pup.  You might try mixing it up a little bit.  She may know it is predictable that she goes in her crate, gets a kong, you leave.  So, change it up a little.  Put her in there and leave the room and wait to see if she barks when she is done.  Next time only leave for a few minutes and come home before she finishes the kong.  Get the idea?  The goal is to get her used to being in there, with or without the kong, and knowing she will be ok until you get back.

Post # 80
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I understand and can relate to you.  I recently adopted a 1.5 year old American Bulldog, while I don’t regret getting her it has been more work than I anticipated! I’m far from a dog expert but here are some of the things I do to make things easier.

We go on a walk every single day.  If I miss our evening walk I know I will come home the next day from work and find that something has been destroyed.  I know it’s hard and I have to force myself to do it somedays.  After coming home from work and cleaning and cooking dinner the last thing I want to do is take the dog out.  I would much rather cuddle on the couch. But I grab my ipod, put on some good music and do it. 

Get the best training you can afford.  For us that meant classes at Petsmart for $100.  Is it the best training out there? No, but we learned a lot and it was well worth $100.  So much so that we even signed her up for the next level of classes.  It’s just one hour a week, even with a busy schedule try to commit to one hour a week.

Train in small sessions.  If I get up to grab a snack from the kitchen (her treats are in there) I spend a few minutes working on her training, we go over what she has learned in class. Pretty much anytime I go into the kitchen for anything I work on training with her or grab a handfull of training treats and take her to another room and work with her until the treats are gone.

I had issues with walking too, she is a very large dog and I am a very small person.  Our trainer suggested this harness and it works great for us.  It’s cheaper on Amazon, but if you go to Petsmart then will take them out of the box to find you the right size and even adjust it for you.  


If you decide to rehome her later here is my story.  The previous owners of my dog loved her, but they had 3 larger dogs that would gang up on her.  She isn’t fond of men and never warmed up to the husband or teenage sons.  They weren’t mean to her and she wasn’t aggresive, she just didn’t care for them. They knew that their home wasn’t the best for her and when through a friend they heard that my wife and I were looking for a dog they thought she would be good for us.  Phoebe (my dog) is living the life now.  She is spoiled and given lots of attention.  She is a happy and very well loved and has become very bonded with me. I send the previous owners updates from time to time and they love seeing how happy is in her new home with her two mommies.  She is finally getting the attention she deserves.  So if you find the right home, it can be a happy ending. 

Post # 81
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If you don’t have the time for your dog you should probably find her a home where they do. Dogs are only as good as their trainer and if you are admitting that you don’t think your a good trainer than you probably shouldn’t have a dog. Having patience with pets is key to having a sucessful relationship with your animal. 

Post # 82
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

@smv22114:  +1 Not everyone is right for pet ownership.  I hope she finds her dog a better home.  🙁

Post # 83
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

you should google Victoria stillwell. She has a lot of awesome training advice available for free online. I just adopted a dog in my may and it was the hardest thing trying to train him. I couldn’t leave without my apartment getting destroyed. I watched her videos and read a lot of helpful advice online for free. 

I feel awful for this too, but we put my dog on some anti anxiety meds that we got from the vet and it really helped kick start training and fixing seperation anxiety. It took patience but now he’s fine being home alone. 

If you really feel like you can’t do it… It is a lot of work, you’re pretty mature for thinking in the dogs best interest 🙂

Post # 84
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Two things:

1. Get a trainer ASAP


2. Call the breeder & return the dog



Post # 85
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just wanted to throw in my two cents’ worth on re-homing a dog. We adopted a one or two year old rescue dog in 2010. She’d been found wandering the streets in Mississippi (we’re in Colorado).  After owning her for 3 years we had to acknowledge that we couldn’t keep her anymore.  We didn’t know when we adopted her that she was a Basenji mix – not too many people know about the breed.  She never bonded to us, learned her name or could be contained in a yard. She found every means to escape and wouldn’t look back. She was sweet and clean, not destructive and house-broken.  But she even learned how to open unlocked patio doors to escape.  I’d had dogs all my life and never came up against an animal like this one. We found her another home, but to be honest I’d be amazed if she’s still alive/hasn’t been hit by a car. This was not a breed I would have chosen for our situation.

Bottom line is it’s OK to realize that you’re not compatible, or your situation isn’t compatible with the dog. You sound like you tried to do the right thing and take the dog out of a bad situation. Boxers area tough breed, and there are lots of no-kill rescues for them if you can’t keep the dog. Don’t feel guilty. If you are very bonded to her, try these other suggestions. I’ve know plenty of people who have boxers and are gone long hours. If you can’t make it work, you and the dog will both be OK with a re-homing situation. 

Post # 86
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@chickspartan:  I’m so sorry for your situation.

I currently have a similarly high energy and young dog. I’m not sure if this helps or not, but the age/breed you have is particularly difficult! Most one year old dogs are crazy. I saw your update, that is an excellent plan. Keep in mind, the pooch will calm down with age… Watch for it over the next 6 months. It is very encouraging for me to witness this in my own dog.

My doggy story, if you’re interested.

I have a black lab. We got her when she was 4 months old and she is 1 year, 8 months now. Darling Husband and I did all the research etc, but he wanted a really smart one from a working line. Bad idea! She is so high energy!

We walk her every day without fail, did puppy school, everything. She destroyed some things, but is much better now. Anyways, there were MANY moments that I had with her that just made me want to cry! She grew into an 80lb pulling machine! I only weigh 115lbs, so it can be really hard for me to contain her sometimes… Add the ice and snow into the mix and it gets worse. In fact, some (many) days I did cry… I would walk her and then sob and sob. No joke. My dog is really challenging to train. But she has a lovely disposition when she’s tired. I think that will be what she is like when she gets older.

We have and use all the gadgets. Bark collar, easy walk harness, kennel training, etc.

At one year old, I was feeling the dog regret a bit. I was tired and frustrated and my back hurt from being dragged all over. I knew that this was coming though, and I was mentally prepared to hate the dog at that age. I planned to wait it out, but I had time to prepare that you didn’t have.

I still have to coach her on walks, correct her, give treats… But I am happy to report that she is MUCH calmer. Overall, I’m very happy that we have her. She makes me laugh often. She’s a quirky dog. 

I don’t really have any specific advice for your situation. I know it’s not exactly like mine. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, ya know? Best of luck with everything.

Post # 87
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@bnamrs4evr:  That’s SUCH a good idea! I didn’t even think about re-creating the entire scene (with the kong) to be able to work on the behavior when it occurs. We’ve done the d esensitization stuff when we’re home, but we don’t do the kong piece of it. I feel so stupid hahaha! Our neihgbor told us that he didn’t bark the past two days though, so I’m feeling so confident about our training efforts. This is the piece a lot of dog owners don’t realize– you’ll feel JUST as accomplished and proud as your pet does when you successfully modify behavior and everyone (dog included) is on the same page. We also are working on when I come home and making it less of a big deal. he used to jump all over me and need to be hugged and wanted to lick my face but now I just show him the sign command for sit and I don’t pay any attention to him until he’s sitting and calm. He stays sitting while I pet him and say hello now! It took literally TWO DAYS. Yesterday, when I got home, he was sitting waiting adn didn’t even need the command. I wish more people would just seek out the information that can/will help instead of panicking and thinking the worst. I had no idea it would be this easy. While I know there will be hiccups (on the weekends when we BOTH leave instead of my Fiance leaving first then me going through all the steps), but we have all the tools we need. Thanks for your help!

Post # 88
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Fizzy8:  It will get so mcuh better! Our pup was never destructive and he’s only 25lbs but he is so strong willed and, on walks, he would drag me wherever he wanted to go. He also has issues with jumping all over people out of excitement.  I had a lot of moments when he was a puppy that I would just cry ahahaha. But he’s now 1.5 years and he has become so much more calm. We find that he needs another dog to run around and play with daily. My parents lived in our old neighborhood (and we had bought our dog’s brother for them) and they used to play together as puppies. However, without a fenced in yard, it was risky business to let them run around free in the yard. My parents own 10 acres so we felt comfortable but there were a few times they tore off up the road that my heart stopped. Now that we have a yard, there is another dog of the same breed that our dog plays with every afternoon. For him to have another “friend” who is up to speed (they go SO FAST!!!) and whom he can play wtih in dog terms has made all the difference. He’s so much happier, confident, and obedient. Not sure if this is a possibility for you but it might help get some of that energy out that leads to the pulling on walks. Your post was so kind to OP and so helpful!

Post # 89
19 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I feel like I should weigh in here, because I’ve been in this situation.  My husband and I adopted a puppy named Oliver in early March of this year, about a year after buying our house.  We also have two cats, and we had previously lived in the granny flat behind my in-laws, who own a black labrador.  We love animals, and were accustomed to the work a dog would take, and we honestly thought we were prepared to adopt a puppy of our own.  We had a large back yard, a large house and what we thought was plenty of time to spend with the puppy. 

We were wrong.

We had him for over a month.  And it was just awful.  And he wasn’t even a bad puppy.  He was getting the hang of going to the door to be let out to pee, he was halfway kennel trained, he was loving and a minimal chewer, but we didn’t have the time to spend with him.  He was in the kennel more than he was out.  We didn’t have the energy to keep up with him when we got home from work.  We didn’t have time to play with him like we wanted to.  With two busy work schedules, we didn’t always make it home in time to let him out to pee. It wasn’t fair to Oliver to have him, and not have time for him, and not be able to give him the kind of life that he deserved.  After a lot of heartache we made the decision to find a new home for him.  We found a family with a stay at home Mom, and a little boy 8 years old who couldn’t wait to take him home. 

In no way did I not love that puppy.  I cried more tears than anyone can imagine over giving him up.  I still have his little nametag on my keys.  I still have pictures of him on my phone.  I loved him enough to know that we weren’t the right family for him.  It was a hard hard hard call to make, but if it’s the one that you have to make too, I want you to know that you’re not alone.  I’m thinking of you, OP.  <3

Post # 90
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CharleighT:  Thanks! 

Yes, I’ve found off leash dog parks to be quite helpful. Lots of other dogs too play with! Lately, the roads have been unfortunately. too slippery and dangerous for us to go as often. So, leash walks for us! She almost seems to get more tired out on the leash… Even though it’s obviously less running etc. 

I’m so glad your pooch is making improvements too! I think age helps a LOT. My lab is sooo much better than even six months ago! She will be 2 in April. 


Post # 91
2 posts
  • Wedding: February 2006

You definitely made a rash decision when you first brought your boxer back but your commitment to stick to it seems commendable…

However, now is the time to right the wrong, so finding a better home for it will seem the best choice there is, since you have no time to properly train your pet again.

There are instances where you just gotta let go and be a better person next time round..


Betty D.


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