(Closed) I resent my boyfriend for not proposing… Help?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

how much did the first ring cost? any chance he has a mom or sister or another female influence in his life that he showed the first ring too and that female may have felt the ring wasnt good enough(big enough or of quality) per their standards and encouraged him to do better?  

Post # 18
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

He got a ring…and pawned it. I would of left right there lol

Post # 20
Hostess
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

@Erika1216:  My Fiance took a long time to propose after he had the ring (2 months) but only because he wanted to plan the perfect proposal. He never returned the ring and *hopefully* that thought never crossed his mind. These are major redflags that your SO is not ready. 
 
Does he ever bring up a proposal on his own? Does he want to marry you? Or are you just pressuring him because it’s what you want? Have you guys talked about timelines?

Post # 21
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Erika1216:  To be honest I get disturbed when the timing is on the guy’s side and he wants to get married on his “own time”. you have a right to be upset because you SHOULD have a say in when you want to get married. If you two have different timelines, then I often say this to my friends, but “the right guy at the wrong time is not the right guy”

 

Darling Husband and I talked a timeline at the beginning of dating. He knew that my expectation was that once he was financially stable and we both felt ready, there shouldn’t be much stopping us, and he also knew I wanted to get engaged in under 2 yeras. We did pre-engagement counseling, I told him the ring could wait, and he had my father’s permission. We got engaged at 1 year and 6 months. I really feel that a guy who wants to be with you for life would also respect your time and not jerk you around, and I don’t buy that he sold the ring to buy you a better one, it sounds like there was something else going on. 

Post # 22
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

Sorry to hear you are going through this. He isn’t acting maturely about this topic. When he says he wants to get married on his own time, that sounds like he isn’t taking your preferences and needs into consideration. When to marry is a decision to make together as a couple, not one or the other person. At least that is how I see it.

Post # 23
Member
2531 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It says a lot about a guy when he buys a ring to show his commitment to a person, then pawns it off.

It says something about how seriously he takes marriage, I think!

And it’s not all his choice… you can decide to get married, too
You actually DID choose the first time by buying the ring together, but he completely disrespected your choice by selling the ring. Now he seems to only want the choice, or really the “power” on his terms, and his terms alone.

Who cares about the proposal, I’d start scrutinizing him as a person… because personally, this would be a flat-out deal breaker for me. I’d leave and find myself a guy who cares less about the price tag of a ring and more about proving himself to me (a second chance isn’t really something I’d give in an instance like this, since he MAJORLY blew his first chance)

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