(Closed) I ruined everything

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 91
Hostess
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

confusedguy00:  I am glad you are talking. I hope you never make the same mistake twice. Treat this woman like a godess.

Post # 92
Member
45 posts
Newbee

confusedguy00:  If she’s any man’s idea of perfection then you shouldn’t have left her.

Post # 93
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

confusedguy00:  Now that you’re talking, here’s some tips for next time you’re having a moment like this (because I feel like it’s kind of beating a dead horse all of the bees saying what they would do in the situation…)

1. Have your own den/room. When Boyfriend or Best Friend and I move in together we’re already planning this. He gets his space for computer, video games, other toys, and I’ll get to use the living room (because I’m more tidy! lol). Even put a twin bed in there if you just want a good night’s sleep without feeling the other person rolling over

2. Have a monthly or every other month trip to a hotel just by yourself. Enjoy breakfast alone, do whatever you need to do to have that free time. Then you can come back refreshed, and she can do what she wants as well to become refreshed.

I understand how it is to be introverted. You just need your space and time to think. It’s hard to even be in the same room as someone when you’re feeling like this, so you just need time to be in your own world. Best of luck, you’re lucky to have her.

Post # 94
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Redondo Beach Historic Library

When I read the OP I kept thinking, man if I wanted a day to eat junk food, watch bad tv and do whatever I want I’d just TELL MY HUSBAND. He’d probably say “hell yeah let’s do this, my turn next weekend”

Post # 95
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

confusedguy00:  first of all, please don’t ever speak of class or lack thereof when you showed yourself to be as trashy as they come by leaving a perfectly good woman on a whim for netflix and some snacks. That’s the first thing.

Next, you do realize that you came on the INTERNET (welcome motha f*****) to ask a group made up of mostly women what you should do next after leaving and now regretting that choice. You did it in the most ridiculous fashion ever. I don’t see your fiance as some forgiving angel that knew from the beginning of this that you were going to come back, nor do I think she’s doing the right thing by being so easy on you and only offering support and not a punch to the throat (but that’s just me). Not really but in reality that’s what you deserve for treating someone you are supposed to love the way you did. In fact, I think she’s making a decision on this prematurely and I hope for her sake (not for yours) that she is correct in giving you her unwavering support and forgiveness. You should thank your lucky stars that you don’t have a stronger woman as your fiance because most women in their right mind would not have forgiven what you did so easily or so quickly, rightfully so. And really we don’t know if that’s really how it’s going to go yet. The effects of this are yet to be seen. It’s easy to say “ok I forgive you let’s fix this” but making that happen and getting back on solid ground is a whole other story.

Therapy is great. And I will say, I commend your honesty, but you sir are no martyr. You most definitely aren’t a hero of any kind. And saying you’re sorry doesn’t always cut it. and to be offended because responders handed you your ass instead of giving you a soft place to land is comical. You deserved to have your ass handed to you after what you pulled and as you saw, you came to the right place to have that happen.

Now for something a tad more positive to end my last response to you… you have seriously landed yourself a rare individual. You seem to be able to admit you faults and are willing to put in some work. I sure hope it works. I also hope that you realize how lucky you are.

Post # 96
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

goodriddance88:  Sorry to break it to you but unicorns arn’t incredibly rare and hard to find.  They arn’t real…

Post # 97
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

confusedguy00:  I’ve seen people on here be way kinder to cheaters.  There’s definitely a heard mentality on here and they go a bit crazy when a guy posts.  It’s a bit wierd.  

Post # 99
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It’s hard to believe that you won’t wake up one day 3, 5, 10 years from now and have the same feeling you did that day and walk out. Personally I couldn’t live with that idea looming over my marriage. Worse, if we have children. I believe in forgiveness in a relationship but some things you just can’t erase. Cutting off ties to the extent that you did seems way harsh and cold and not something easily forgotten. Only time will tell if your ex-FI is willing to get passed this incident but just like she was willing to let you go if it made you happy, you should be able to let her go if her heart cannot be mended.

Post # 100
Member
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

There seems to be a lot of back and forth and the OP has all the advice he needs.  We’re going to close this now for review.

The topic ‘I ruined everything’ is closed to new replies.

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