(Closed) I Ruined his surprise proposal! Any advice?

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

I don’t really know if there is a good way to make it up to him. It doesn’t sound like you’re going to convince him to calm down after the surprise was ruined.

If you want to go bold to give him the story he clearly wanted to have for you guys, do you have it in your budget to buy him something really nice like a fancy watch or something else he might appreciate? Then you could always propose to him.

At that point your story can be that you couldn’t wait, but he wanted a story. He just gave in, but you gave him the dramatic surprise proposal with a story behind it. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sooo?  Do you have the ring yet?!? 

Ok.  First of all, this situation was not your fault and you didn’t ruin it, it was just an innocent accident.  It should be an easy fix.  He can’t blame you for being excited, can he?  If it were me, I’d say he was off the hook for the surprise proposal and just give me the ring.  Gimme, gimme. hehe. 

Seriously.  I can see why he is upset but he shouldn’t be upset at you.  What happened IS the proposal story!  It’s funny and cute, and he needs to get over it and just give you the ring already.

Post # 5
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I completely demolished FI’s proposal too. Well, circumstances demolished it all day, so at the very end of the night when he was quite drunk and I was quite angry at him for being so drunk, he pulls out a ring and drops to a knee and the first thing I said was “are you sure you want to do this right now?”  He of course took this as basically being a no, and it was very nearly a disaster!!!!!

We fixed it by retooling the story of what actually happened. We tell people that all his plans were ruined all day, but he was so anxious to get engaged that he gave me the ring anyway even under the most unromantic circumstances imaginable, and we also like to throw in that I was no longer mad at him afterwards, which always gets a laugh πŸ™‚

The story is all about how you tell it! It doesn’t have to be that he rented out Disney for you or proposed during the Superbowl or something. Even something as simple as “we just couldn’t wait another moment” works and can make the sweetest story πŸ™‚ The fact is, no matter how irritated he was at you this morning, he’s not about to hand over the ring still in its case and tell you to be done with it. He’s gonna do SOMETHING, I’m sure of it! Just don’t mention it to him again and let him get excited on his own!

Post # 6
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Nessa2012:  Aww I kind of ruined mine too!

We had both discussed that we weren’t getting married, then on a night away I said I wanted to. (completely out of the blue) We had decided 2 years prior that we wouldn’t. I then got a little teary when he said he’d think about it, mainly because i felt really silly as we had already discussed it. Then he asked me to close my eyes and when I opened them he was down on one knee with the ring he gave me when we moved in (as he hadn’t planned the proposal until about 5 weeks later).

So I felt really awful! I know i still got my proposal, but it really sucks to know you ruined it for them. My partner had it all planned out how he would do it. 

So anyway, my advice would be to tell him that you either just weren’t expecting a proposal as you had discussed getting married before. Or, you could be really patient and selfless (I mean that in the nicest way!) and tell him that you want him to keep the ring and propose in his own time. Tell him you’re happy to wait, even if it is 6 months. Because honestly the longer you wait the less likely it is that you will know when he will do it πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@PinkFlemingo:  Haha! We too changed ours a bit! We just told our friends and most of the family that he had been planning it for months (which he had), and that he didn’t want to wait and just felt that our trip away for my bday/valentine’s day was perfect!

And well for me it was. I didn’t care that I didn’t have my e-ring then and there. All that mattered was that he was there πŸ™‚

He took me to the jewellery store the next day to pick out my ring!

Post # 8
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Go get him something he likes, and ask him yourself. That’s what I did.

Post # 10
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know its hard but just try to keep quiet and let him suprise you. SmileThe same thing happened to Fiance and I,  and Fiance was too quick to give up, after I had heard the ring was ready (I happened to answer the phone…..).  I ended up getting proposed to in the car after he picked up the ring : /. I don’t really mind how it happened I’m excited to be with him either way, but I felt bad that I ruined all the time and hard work be put into planning the suprise that he ended up not being able to carry out. 

Post # 11
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Nessa2012:  probably best. put it to the back of your mind. TRY not to think about it. This one will be bigger and better!

Post # 12
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

FIs best advice to any guy who is about to propose is f*** the big proposal and just do it when it feels right. He proposed at 5am on a weekend getaway we took (touring our new home province). We are very happy he didnt wait till the “romantic” whale watching tour since he ended up throwing up the entire time (so I admired my sparkly ring). Just dont say anything and let him do it when hes ready. I almost ruined the proposal too since we were both at the mall when he picked it up and I walked up right behind him as the staff tried to hide the ring box (Lush visit wasnt long enough for him).

Post # 13
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You should propose to him! Buy a cheap ring from Wal-mart, do something sweet and propose to him! Then you’ll have a story and you can laugh about it later

Post # 15
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

hahahaa my partners sister just got engaged, they went a picked a ring out at tiffanys and went somewhere else to price it and get it made etc, about 4 weeks later, SHE got a call saying the ring is ready for collection! Hhaha totally ruined the surprise, she told the jeweller to ring her partner and pretend the whole call never happened. he still doesnt know…

Post # 16
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

I runined my proposal.  Oh well…funny story, not a beautiful romantic funny story, but a funny story none the less. 

We had been talking about moving to be closer to his family but I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.  Then one day I told him that I was ready to move once we are engaged.  So over the next few months we put our house up for sale, and he found a job and moved. And I waited for a proposal.  Eventually I found a job and moved too…still no proposal.  One day he was acting really weird and trying to get me to come with him to his dad’s garage to see our tv that had been fixed, and I refused to go, so he went alone before bed, saying he need to shut the heat off at the garage.  Later, I was thinking about it and figured he must have planned a proposal at the garage and had to go un-set it up because I had refused.  Afterall why the heck would I want to look at a tv?  So I rushed down there to catch him there expecting a proposal….and he showed me the stupid tv.  The next day I lost it, I got really mad at him for setting in motion these plans to move, and not proposing, knowing I didn’t want to move until we were engaged.  He gave me a hug and suggested we watch a movie at the garage….then he pulled out the ring and purposed.

Oops! I guess that is what I get for being so impatient!

The topic ‘I Ruined his surprise proposal! Any advice?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors