(Closed) I ruined the opportunity to look at rings together :(

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would show up and maybe one of his coworkers (maybe a woman) could show you e rings, just tell her…. hey could you kind of let (insert bf.name here) what I like.?  That way it is still a surprise, you still let him know what you like and thats it! 

Post # 4
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just be honest. Tell him you were flustered and unprepared for the moment. Tell him you’d love to look at rings when he is ready.

Post # 5
522 posts
Busy bee

What if you ask if you can pick out three or so different rings that you love and then he gets to decide which one he ultimately picks?

That way it is a surprise but you did get to have input?

Also, I’d explain that you were a little surprised when he offered and that’s why you said no to looking at rings.

Post # 7
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would go back up to his work (assuming he always works behind the counter), and bring him lunch or something, and as casually as possible say, “I think you might be able to show me something, now.”

Cheesy… but maybe it could work?

Post # 8
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BruinBeeMPH:  I promise you’re over-thinking it ๐Ÿ™‚ Just be honest, he will understand.

Post # 9
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

How about you go look at rings yourself and figure out what you like, then send him an email with some styles that you liked with the subject, “In case you were wondering..” and let him handle the rest. 

Post # 10
1511 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@BruinBeeMPH:  I agree with @SnurfMurph86:.  It’s important to let him know that you’re not uninterested, but that you were just completely caught off guard.  I’d just say something like, “I’m sorry about what happened earlier.  I was totally caught off guard and didn’t respond in the best way.  I’d be open to looking at rings with you in the future … Whenever you’re ready.”  Hopefully he’ll be willing to try again. 

Post # 11
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First and foremost…

Yikes… what a surprise… I probably would have been flabbergasted as well.

Anyhow, it happens.  He seems serious, so I’m guessing he’ll ask again. 

Maybe bring it up gently in a day or two… “Remember when I was in the store… well you caught me totally off guard… I was stunned.  Guessing when you propose, I’ll faint, so be warned, ha-ha”  Do it genuinely… but with a bit of humour if you can.

Anyways it sounds close… real close.

So hang in there.  It will all work out in the long run.





I am an Encore Bride… so have had ERings twice in my life.  I can tell you that for me (and many other Brides) the # 1 Reason to tell your Guy that a Surprise ERing just won’t do is because

(a) You will wear it 24/7×365 the rest of your life… so you better LOVE it

(b) There are 1000s of diffrent ERings… and they are all different.  Just cause you like something in a photo, doesn’t mean you will like it in person

(c) Rings in person still manage to look very different when they are on your finger.  Everyone’s hands are different and we all suit different things (kind of like how not all of us look good in the same top or pair of pants).  So what you think you like, and what actually suits you can be two very different things.

Hence my warning… TRY THEM ON !!

And lastly… LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN about rings before you buy one… be that the metals (many different sorts) involved or the gemstones (including Diamonds if that is your preference)… and the various types of settings.

Diamonds in particular can be intimidating… lots to know.  The standard 4Cs for the Diamond Industry… CARAT SIZE – CUT (Shape & Quality) – COLOUR – and CLARITY

As well as a few other important Cs


A good place to start is with the Blue Nile Website they have an excellent section on EDUCATION.

And if you are interested in a Diamond a good place to get a general idea of what different diamonds are worth based on the whatever combo of Cs you prefer…

The Ring Board here on WBee also has some very imformed Bees.

*NOTE – I personally enjoy the Blue Nile Website as a Reference Tool, but I won’t buy a Diamond on-line… I just don’t feel comfortable buying a Diamond without seeing it (especially a loose diamond).  I want to see it under a Jeweller’s Loupe BEFORE I make that kind of investment.

BUT there are Bees who have bought their Diamonds on-line, so The Ring Board can certainly give you the Pros & Cons on that perspective.

Hope this helps,


Post # 13
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’ve done that too.  I felt so stupid afterwards!  I think it came down to him wanting to know what I wanted but both of us really kind of wanting it to be a suprise….

He asked me the other day who would know what EXACTLY I would want and I told him my Mom.  I have looked at rings with her a few times and she really knows what I like, and very importantly what looks good on me.  I think this a perfect balance because we will never really be picking out rings together, but he will really know exactly what I want through my Mom!

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