I said i want to break up when I didn’t mean it

posted 3 months ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 16
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

You were trying to provoke the guy for a reaction. In doing so, you crushed him and made him feel insecure in his relationship with you. You were not playing as a team, you were trying to prove yourself “bigger” or more powerful than him by holding the ticket to your relationship

Thing is – you poked and poked at the relationship. And while you didn’t really want to break up, when you poke at something, it’ll start to crack. and the cracks will get bigger and bigger each time until it just breaks. Trust me. I’ve been on the receiving end of that type of behavior. And while I would smile and nod and things would be smoothed over temporarily, the cracks never went away. Every time it happened again, I felt more and more disconnected and insecure in the relationship, and the cracks would deepen.

He has no reason to feel secure in the relationship. You poked him so much that eventually it broke for him. Let the guy go so he can find someone who won’t do that to him.

Post # 17
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

This sounds like a horrible immature and toxic relationship. You constantly said you wanted to break up in order to manipulate him into begging you back during a fight?! No. That’s not good for anyone. Glad your boyfriend cut out that shit, he doesn’t need it. 

Let him go and learn how to fight fair and communicate properly for your next relationship 

Post # 18
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly he’s probably better off without this relationship. Threatening to break up is something only shitty relationship partners do. Be better next time with the next person. 

Post # 19
Member
623 posts
Busy bee

Sinem :  so that was dumb. lesson learned, but if I were him, I’d have warned you not to do that unless you meant it and if you kept doing it, I have ditched you long ago. 

Post # 20
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

That’s very manipulative. You may want to speak to a professional and acknowlege your issue before trying to work it out. I doubt it was the very first time you’ve pulled this crap. The good news is you can change it so it doesn’t keep happening! 

Post # 21
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds like the guy finally got a clue. Good for him!

Post # 22
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Your post and behavior reminds me of this clip from Kristen Bell about how she used to fight

It sounds like your ex decided he had higher standards for how he was treated than what you had been showing him. You need to just let this go. Maybe apologize, if you have the maturity to do so and recognize that what you were doing was not okay. Then leave him alone. It’s not just about whether or not you want him back. He gets a say, too. If you aren’t healthy, you aren’t relationship material. Go get healthy (for yourself) so that you can have higher standards for your relationships, too.

Post # 23
Member
7752 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Sinem :  

I’m surprised he put up with your crap as long as he did.  He shouldn’t have.  Grow up and stop playing games with other people’s emotions.

And leave this poor guy alone.  

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