Post # 1
I sent out my Save-The-Date Cards a couple of months ago. I gave one to a fellow co-worker since I basically invited everyone at work and didn’t want her to feel left out. We aren’t very close, but we are OK, we hung out a few times and I thought we were decent enough friends. I’m close with her aunt who I also work with.
Well, because of work issues (I’m also her boss..) , she now treats me like complete crap. (Long story short…she did something wrong and as her boss I had to write her up) She now completely HATES me. She thinks I’m a “two faced, sneaky bitch of a manager who deserves no respect” as she so nicely said all over facebook (mature, right?)
My bridal shower invites need to go out soon. I’ve tried talking to her but the maturity level isn’t there so I gave up. I’ve even taken the high road (I apoligzed! Yes, I apologized for doing my job!) Before all this happened though, she did recieve a save the date from me. Her family and I are still close and I do plan on still inviting them. But is it rude of me to give her a save the date but not an invite to the bridal shower or reception?
Has anything happened to you like this? Where you sent out a STD to someone and ended up not sending them an invite to the wedding? I don’t want her there, but I think it’s rude of me to invite her aunt and cousin (who I also work with) but not her.
Post # 3
First off I totally read the title wrong as I’m not used to STD being well, what STD is in the wedding world. Childish giggle put aside.
It sucks that you’re in this situation with an insubordinate employee. I would break it down like this and make a decision from here.
1. Do you/do not like like to hang out with her on personal time?
2. Do you believe her comments are directed towards you (boss) or you (person)?
3. Do you feel that the bridal shower is for all girls or close friends and family only?
4. What would the repercussions be if you didn’t invite her, vis-a-vis her aunt/cousin?
If I answer No to at least 3 of these, I would axe her from the bridal shower. Besides, your maid of honor/best girl should be inviting people for the shower, not you. If she doesn’t get an invite, you can always shift blame to something she cannot fight with (presuming she doesn’t know the MOH).
Last, did she post that comment on Facebook during work hours? If so, she can be subject to disciplinary action by the company for slanderous comments. If she posted on her own time then there’s not much you can do.
Post # 4
y not invite her? If she really hates you she won’t go. If she is still upset, she may get over it, but you not inviting her will be rubbing salt into the wounds.
Post # 5
Wait, your employee talked a bunch of shit on facebook and you’re biggest concern is whether or not to invite her?
I think there is a way bigger issue here. If I trashed my boss like that, I’d be out of a job.
Post # 6
First reaction is ‘f that biatch’ and not to invite her but that gives her amo to run around and bad mouth you more, and say you’re immature, etc. Just invite her and pray she doesn’t come. Cease immediately any actions you’re taking to rectify the situation as well. You’ve done your part.
Post # 7
what if she goes and causes drama? That would be my concern shes clearly immature.
Post # 8
I would leave her out of the bridal shower but since she has an STD, you should probably invite her to the reception.
Post # 9
eactly i dont want to invite her to come and cause problems…but if i dont invite her ill have to deal with the aftermath at work
Post # 10
I agree with @SoontobeMrsA: I would bring up the fact that she trashed you on FB to upper management. She shouldn’t undermine your position. I wouldn’t invite her at all, STD or not.
Post # 11
I say don’t invite her. Period. And if you’re her boss and she’s publicly trashing you, I would fire her so quick that the wedding and shower invite wouldn’t even be an issue anymore. Why would you want someone like that at your bridal events? Ettiquette or not, that would be a dealbreaker to me and more than likely, if you hope she doesn’t come she probably will come.
Post # 12
As a manager, I’m surprised you would invite your staff at all, or discuss facebook (I hope you’re not friends with your staff). It seems unprofessional. This is why companies have a no fraternizing with employees policy for managers. You are bringing personal feelings into work.
@Ms. Sparkles: and @SoontobeMrsA: Most companies would never allow a manager to discuss outside complaints about a manager. People don;t like their bosses and they can discuss it where ever they choose. The only time its an issue is if they slander the company itself.
Post # 13
@mwitter80: Hmm..you are right. I’m not friends with my superior on FB at all for that reason. I still don’t think she should be invited to the wedding if she’s treating her OP like crap.
Post # 14
ive been with the company for 9 years. ive been friends with these people since i was a crew person just like then. im not going to stop being friends with them just because i got a promotion
Post # 15
I think you are kind of between a rock and a hard place with this.