(Closed) I seriously feel like I’m going to throw up–FMIL Drama

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

She sounds like she has attatchment issues. My mother has TERRIBLE attatchment issues and poor Darling Husband has to deal with them (though I try to limit them and intercede wherever possible). My mother is very jealous of Darling Husband and Mother-In-Law because my mom lives far away and she’s unhealthily attatched to me. Some of the things you said reminded me of my mom. She’ll cry on the phone about how she’s so lonley and whatnot (yet she asked my stepfather to leave and pushed away all of her friends and, to some extent, me) and how I haven’t been the same since I met and married Darling Husband. Basically, she can’t seperate or deal with the fact that I’m a grown up and living my life (despite the fact that I’ve lived 9 hours away from her for 8 years now). My point in all this, is that I empathize, AND that you can only do so much. If you’ve made the effort to include her and to be the bigger person, that’s about all you can do. She’s made her choices, she’s an adult, and she needs to deal with her own issues. She may come around or (like my mother) you may have to accept that things will be like this and do your best to try and maintain a healthy relationship with her. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Post # 18
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, I could have written this post too. She called me a little b*tch and never wants to see my face again. What did I do? Trust me, I wanted to write her back. And I did. But it’s still in my drafts. A very long, very detailed email pointing out all the reasons she’s delusional. What happened instead? I ignored the hell out of her. Made her son speak to her because after all, that’s her “little boy” *sob*. She then wrote HIM an email saying how the world has ended becuase he married me. What did HE do? Ignored the hell out of her. So guess what she’s doing now? She wants to make amends and have us both back in her life. Moral of the story…silence speaks louder than words. Try not to worry too much. If your man loves you (and I’m sure he does!) it will all work out. There should be panic if he were taking her side, so to speak. But in the end, she’s seeking attention and by not giving her any, she has no choice but to start acting sane! Pm me if you wish!

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