(Closed) I seriously just want to elope!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
841 posts
Busy bee

*hugs* I understand what you are going through, and the best thing I can think of is if it is REALLY what you both want to do, then go for it. Yes, there is a huge chance that your family and/or friends might be peeved, but this is YOUR day, not theirs. Maybe have a reception or something later that way they can also be included and you and your SO won’t be so stressed. Another option, is to wait it out. You do have a little bit of time before everything needs to be finalized. Take a breather, and best wishes! 🙂

Post # 4
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We got married in Oahu, Hi and had a reception a month later in our home state. Totally worth it!

Post # 5
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I know exactly how you feel! i too am Chinese and our wedding was the first in both our families. I ended up having to go Chinese food for the banquet to keep costs down. However, unlike you guys, we got our parents to agree to pay for the food for the people that they invited and we took care of the rest. This may not be possible for you. To be honest, it felt sad that I didn’t completely have “my wedding” until we opened the checks. The money sort of made up for it, as controversial as that sounds. My friends are not well established, so my family and our parents friends made up most of what we took in. Of course, thats not what our wedding was about, of course, but we’re saving for a house and it really helped. At the end of the day, I was glad that our parents and we were all happy.

Post # 6
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Hey there! My Fiance and I started to plan a “traditional” wedding, and nothing was getting us excited. Our parents were contributing a lot, but it was still stressful catering to everyone else’s dream and not ours. We finally decided that we were going to have an elopement ceremony and invite our parents and that was it. 

I won’t lie, there were some hard feelings. I am the firstborn and some family members are still a little weird about not being included, but the way I figure it is that my whole life I tried to please everyone around me. We just want one day where no one else really matters. 

Our ceremony is at a bed and breakfast in St. Augustine, FL. We have a really nice photographer and many traditional “events” ie. first look, cake cutting, horse drawn carriage, first dance. 

Do yourself a huge favor and do what really makes you happy, we have no regrets. 🙂

Post # 7
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

ALSO! We are having a reception the following week for all of the people who weren’t invited to St Augustine. 

We also had a very short engagement. Proposed in October. Decided on this style wedding in October. Getting married January 7th. 

Post # 8
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I could’ve written your post myself. It seems like such a huge undertaking with very little support. Everyone SAYS they’ll help, but try asking… it’s like pulling teeth. People want to help you pick out your dress and select centerpieces (so they can shove their opinion down your throat) but ask them to fold napkins or something and pfffft. They’re gone faster than you can blink!

Fiance and I are looking at getting married at the courthouse prior to our wedding date. Then it’ll just be he and I and I’ll get my “elopement” and it’s something that only he and I will have any input on. No one outside of our parents will know that that’s what we’re doing so no b!tchy aunts can jump in and shove their opinions down our throats. It’s not getting me out of planning a wedding, but it’s a compromise.

Post # 9
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We eloped, and I can tell you most people were very supportive of our decision. My dad never said anything, but my mom made it clear she was very hurt and disappointed that we decided not to have our wedding in Michigan. She tried every trick in the book to try to manipulate us into changing our plans. Even my brother was on her side kind of, until I talked to him about it, then he said that we should do what we want or we would always regret it. My SIL said the same thing, do we we want or we’d regret it like she did.

I think it’s wonderful to have a big wedding with family and friends around. Sharing it with a lot of loved ones is special, and if that’s what a couple wants, then that’s what they should have. 

Our wedding, aside from the mom thing, was stress-free. No wedding invitations or programs, not seating charts, no caterer, no band, no wedding party arguements or hassles, no dress coordination, no having to compromise to please someone else, no money worries…nothing stressful at all. Plus, we got an elopement package from the B&B we were staying at, so I didn’t even have to worry about any of the arrangements like finding an officiant, cake, flowers, etc. It was all taken care of except for the photographer and the videographer.

I would not change our wedding for anything in the world. I have absolutely no regrets about not having any family or friends there. It had everything that a large wedding has except the expense and the guests. It was sooooo intimate and romantic.

If you do elope, you’ll have people who will say that since your eloping you don’t need this or that. My mom said she didn’t understand why I needed a fancy dress to wear for strangers. Just remember, anything you do for your wedding is for the two of you. You decide what is important to you, and you don’t have to answer to anyone.

The ceremony is for the couple, not a show for the guests invited. Do what you really want to do, or you might always regret it. Those who don’t like it will get over it.

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