- 5 months ago
- Wedding: September 2020 - City, State
My boyfriend is a very analytical guy, he likes numbers, timelines, etc. He knows he wants to get engaged and married to me, and was happy to have me outline when I’d like to get proposed to and pick out the ring, so he could just follow the schedule and not have to guess.
I had always felt like I wanted the prospoal to happen around Christmas 2019, it’s my favorite holiday and would be easy for a not otherwise romantic guy to make romantic. We will have lived together for 2 years as of this May, and have been dating for 5 years as of this August, so that seems like a reasonable amount of time to really know each other and know that we’re right for each other.
We started looking at rings early this month to check out valentines day sales, going into stores to try on different styles. And of course he crunched the numbers for our budget for the e-ring, wedding bands, the type of wedding we want etc, so we could stay on track for saving up for a house. We found my dream ring at his dream price point earlier than I expected, and it’s being made to my custom specifications now. I expect it will be ready next month.
So now, I don’t want to wait until flipping December to engaged, even though I’m the one who picked that timeframe. The logical reasons still all make sense for that time – we’ll have hit those milestones, though they feel arbitrary now because I KNOW I love him and want to continue building a life with him; he’s just not the type of guy to feel inspired to propose by a romantic moment, and that’s okay, so christmas time will at least set the mood and we can show off the ring and share the excitement with family in person.
I feel like I just can’t stand not being engaged to him anymore, and I don’t know how I could wait for that long knowing my beautiful shiny ring is sitting in a box. But at the same time, it feels silly to rush it, we’re not in a rush to get married, and it feels unfair for me to establish with him a timeline and then go back on it on a whim.
I casually hinted when he purchased the stone the other night that even though I said december 2019, if he feels inspired to propose sooner that would be ok. Or if he wanted to wait that would be ok too. But I know unless I explicitly say “propose by x date” he won’t change the plan.
I don’t know what I’m expecting from posting, because I don’t expect you all to be able to tell me if we should wait or we should go ahead. I am curious though on how others knew the time was right, or how others have dealt with changing a pre-agreed upon timeline.