(Closed) I should probably go anonymous for this but….

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 107
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You do NOT need this! You are a size 4/6 and he is complaining about your body? He is too young for marriage (and I agree with him) but you are supposed to have a plan for after college? It would be a cold day in hell before I would let any man treat me that way. This guy clearly does not respect who you are. Lose him!

Post # 108
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
@TeamAwesome:  This.  You posted in your OP that he freaked out once he had the ring.  Getting it made him realise that getting married is not what he wants.  I doubt it is even really about you, he’s just not ready for that level of commitment.

What is down to him though, is the way he is acting now.  He doesn’t have the guts to be honest, to end it.  Like others have said, he’s acting like a complete cunt to get you to do his dirty work.   He doesn’t want to be the ‘bad guy’.   Very very immature behavour.

Please, have more respect for yourself and end it.  

Post # 109
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yikes!  I think everyone has said what I’m thinking, too.  He’s not the man you thought he was.  Also, it sounds like there’s a cycle of (verbal) abuse.  He came by this honestly.  It sounds like his mother had no problem knocking you down a few pegs.  Most importantly, he didn’t stand up for you.  

I know how hard it will be but I think you know the answer.  Time to move on.  

Post # 110
Member
40 posts
Newbee

oh no! i am so sorry. i dont know how to help other than offering you a virtual hug!

Post # 111
Member
9124 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@Paiger8:  Hey there lady – how are ya doing?  I hope all these responses helped illuminate what an unfair situation you’re in…  Would love to hear an update.

Post # 112
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I just want to punch his smug mansplaining face after reading this.

 

Post # 114
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Paiger8:  What did he say when you explained that you’d been doing things all day long?

Post # 116
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I’m sorry but no.. if he’s like this now I guarentee you it will intensify down the track as you deal with the much bigger issues that life throws at you – trust me, I’ve seen it happen. 

No one can tell you what to do, you need to make that decision yourself. Some people might be ok with a controlling partner.. but you don’t sound like you’re one of them. I wouldn’t be either. A marraige needs respect, appreciation and admiration. He doesn’t sound like he has any of those things for you.

If you find it difficult to get perspective because you are the one in the situation, think of it from the outside.. would you be happy for your daughter/mother/sister to be treated that way?

People can only treat you the way you let them. Let yourself be happy ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 117
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@Paiger8:  I have to be honest–I’ve really been hoping for an update that you’ve decided to leave him. Not that it is an easy thing to do by any means, but you just seem like such a nice, thoughtful person and that you deserve so much more! You deserve someone who will raise you up, not constantly drag you down because he’s unhappy with himself so he wants someone to be miserable with him. 

I hope things go the way you want them to tonight. Big hugs, and I’m hoping in the end, you get what you want and are happy! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 119
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@Paiger8:  Well, he’s a dick.  Can you move out easily?

Post # 120
Member
2093 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Paiger8:  It seems to me you got the act & the anxiety of the e-ring forced him to remove his “mask”… Who you are seeing now is the real deal. 

And I would run. 

 

 

Post # 121
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It sounds to me like once he thought about marriage he realized that what he used to say about you being too good for him is actually  TRUE and now he is trying to belittle you into believing that you are overweight or stupid and that no one will want you because then you won’t actually realize that you are in fact better than him and leave…

Obviously the things he has been saying can’t be true because in the beginning of your relationship he was telling you how amazing you are! You deserve so much better than this guy IMO!

I had a friend who’s partner did this to her all of the time (he even told her how much better looking/skinny other girls were) and now she honestly believes that no one else will ever want her because she is apparently ugly and fat (which is completely false, she is beautiful!).

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