(Closed) I shouldn’t care, but she really hurt my feelings.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I talk to her about how she hurt my feelings? (You can choose more than one.)
    Don't make it a long conversation. Just tell her that she hurt your feelings. : (7 votes)
    6 %
    Talk it out. Maybe she had something else going on with her and it came through to you. : (0 votes)
    Leave it alone. She's old and old people think they can say what they want with no consequences. : (63 votes)
    50 %
    BTW: Awesome that Mr. Shamrock stood up for you (even though it's not cool to hang up on your mama!) : (55 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I say just leave it.

    Honestly this reminds me of my Fiance. He is SO CHEAP… I seriously love him to death but sometimes he gets his cheap hat on and I want to pimp slap him!

    Just leave it, I am sure she didn’t realize how much effort you put into them!

    Post # 4
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Is she paying for the wedding? If not, then it shouldn’t matter how much they did or didn’t cost!

    Post # 5
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I think that’s flattering that she thought you spent a lot of money on your invites! I would just let it go. You have to pick your battles, and this just doesn’t seem like a good one to have.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1805 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Well look at it this way, you should be flattered that she thinks they cost “a mint”! 🙂  Not saying that all seniors have comprehension issues, but maybe she truly doesn’t understand HOW you made them yourself? Also perhaps age related;  my Grandma at that age was prone to mood swings and out-of-the-blue snarkiness.  We just ignored it.

    As for the cost, as someone else said, you are paying for it so it shouldn’t matter.  I know, my  mom did the same thing though she wasn’t contributing a penny. “How are you AFFORDING all this!!?” and “How much did THAT cost you!” and “I just can’t understand how you are affording all this!” over and over.    It’s called savings, mom, over 2 years of saving.  Arrgh.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    I voted B and C.  And I think its perfectly fine to hang up on your mama when she’s being impossible. I do it to my Mum when she goes on a tangent as well.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @MsInterpret: That is what I was thinking. My mom is only 44 and she doesn’t realize that people can make their own invites and centrepieces and what not.

    Post # 10
    Member
    14402 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    82… yeah, that’s getting to an age where you just nod and call it a day.  Theres no more filter on what they say.  And I dont understand why any of it matters to her anyways… is she paying for any of it?  If not, I’d tell her nothing, its none of her business.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2398 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Now I really want to see them!  Can you post pics so that we may ogle the paper porn?

    If she’s not paying for anything, I say you and Fiance should just ignore her.  Decide on a stock answer to these questions and just keep spitting it out whenever she starts picking at you.

    Post # 12
    Member
    14402 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    oh, just saw your response.  Can you or Fiance just tel lher don’t worry about cost, its being handled!  This extra headache is just unnecessary!

    Post # 13
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    The invites must look very professional and expensive for her not to believe you made them! I would definitely file this away as a compliment.

    Also, I totally had to giggle when you said you’d never condone hanging up on your mom. My Fiance and his mom take turns hanging up on each other, and I’ve never seen two people swear so much at each other and also love each other at the same time. His mom is a HANDFUL, but sooooo loved.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Personally, if she asks again how much ____ costs I would tell her that unless she’s paying for it it’s none of her business and you don’t feel comfortable sharing that information with her. Actually, I would make Fiance do that since it’s HIS mom. Our rule is that whoever’s side of the family it is has to deal with their quirks/issues.

    Post # 15
    Member
    793 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I have to agree that why does it matter what you spent on them, or anything for that matter? Is she contributing to the wedding? or actually is she even paying for all of the wedding, because if she is only contributing, and she wants her money spent on something specific that is fine, but she can’ tell you how to spend YOUR money. Fianically nothing is her business when it comes to you two, so why is she so nosey? Why does she care? I don’t know just seems really weird to me. I would never have any interest in knowing or asking someone what their invites cost unless I wanted to make them myself, and wanted to get a genreal idea of cost, but not ever just out of curosity. I agree that just let this one go, if she brings it up again, tell her all your paid for was the paper, and maybe some printer ink, and that you made them yourself, so it didn’t cost a lot, because you didn’t have someone do them for you, or order them online, or whatever, and leave it at that. If she really keeps asking you like nagging about it and won’t let it go, just tell her to stop, and leave you alone, that you already told her what you paid for, and that it was not a lot.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1805 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @tranquility:  Right!  My mom somehow locked herself out of her Facebook account last month and simply won’t bother to figure out how to reset the password!  She is 69 though.  Your comment freaks me out a little as I’m 39 and I hope that in 5 years I still have a clue! LOL!

     

    @pinkshoes:  Exactly, no filter.  About 10 years ago or so, before my Grandmother’s Alzheimer’s started to show, she was just tactless.  It was shocking.  We were at my oldest son’s birthday party and my Grandma saw my best friend who she’d known at that point for over 20 years.  My friend had been experimenting with hair color and the result was a faded mess.  First words out of my Grandma’s mouth to her:

    “Hello L, how are you?  How is your husband? Your hair looks like shit!” Surprised

    The topic ‘I shouldn’t care, but she really hurt my feelings.’ is closed to new replies.

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