(Closed) I signed my life away to this f-ing sorority,

posted 8 years ago in College
Post # 107
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I loved my sorority experience as well and it is sad how it is being bashed. Not every sorority is like the OPs, why damn thousands upon thousands of people because of one? 

OP- I am so sorry, I feel stressed just reading your posts. I hope you can come to a resolution soon. 

Post # 108
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had a similar situation.  Met my Darling Husband (we were both presidents of our sororities/frats), I was VP of Panhellenic Councel at my college.  Then it was just way too much, then our differences started showing.  First semester I went “Inactive” (which I know is common in greek life) since it seemed easiest and paid minimal dues and didn’t have to participate. Who’s your alumni rep for the chapter?  Grab coffee with her, that’s really what she’s there for.  I did alumni rep for a quarter after I graduated and dealt with alot of situations like this and then in turn advised the president and council what to do.  Alumni reps have alot of pull.  Mostly since the council is scared of them and they’re closer to Nationals?  Who knows.  I’m sorry hun!

And….And I have a PhD in Mechanical Engineering and hold a PE license.  I think this little sorority girl president and Panhel council VP did pretty well just like many other women have succeeeded as well!  Whatever on the whole “boo-ing” Greek life 🙂

Post # 110
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

@rhubarbpie: 
I am so offended by what you have to say. I am graduating in three years with a Bachelors in Science, Psychology, two minors, pre law. I have a 3.87 GPA and have been awarded multiple academic scholarships. Guess what?! I LOVE MY SORORITY. You can have an opinion, but please try and refrain from being rude. 

 

College is supposed to teach you to be open minded and not believe stereotypes, so please think before you speak and make yourself look like the one who never studied in college. I am taking a year off to work before I go to Law school. And I can assure you I will not be working at starbucks, but am making almost 70,000 out of college. So please grow up. 

 

 

Post # 111
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

@MrsJM2B:  I am sorry all of this happened with your sorority. In mine it is an excuse to miss because of work, family emergency, or school. I think your sorority is being very unfair.

Post # 112
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Uhgh, I’m SO sorry you’re going through this! The same thing happened to me. I planned on having a child with my ex – and when I got pregnant – the sorority crap that was aalready bringing me down brought me all the way down. I was fined a lot of money. I paid it up until I told them I was leaving and two people(in charge) told me I didn’t have to pay. Two years later(with a child) they sent me a notice saying they called the collection agency to me. I didn’t even reiceve a bill! UGH. I got that taken off and the charges gone, but dang- really? But they did tell me to keep all my stuff so I still have it – my pin and everything. TBH, I don’t really want it. I only have two riends from the thing – the rest were just horrible people in general.

 

Blanche – same boat. We had crap to do at least three times a week. We could turn in a written excuse two days in advance(I believe) and not get fined – if they approved. I always turned in my excuse when I missed something, they never sent anything back and charged me anyway. Finally I just stopped turning in excuses. Ugh. It still upsets me.

 

I made the decision to join a sorority because I thought it would give me girlfriends that I never had.  I grew up with my dad and brother – my mom wasn’t around. I only had one close girlfriend, but she stopped being my friend in 10th grade. Then I just had guy friends. Seriously thought that I would have a chance to have girlfriends finally – but I sadly didn’t join the right sorority.

Post # 113
Member
561 posts
Busy bee

@MrsJM2B:  I can’t believe they’re not being understanding. Go meet with standards, your chapter advisor, the entire chapter advisory board that works with your chapter, your regional representative, HQ…just be proactive until you get your special status. If you legitimately have work, they can’t expect you to show up to things while you’re working! And if you’re super busy, they need to understand that at some point (at the end of your college career usually), there are things that take precedent over sorority life. I’m sorry you have to go through this, and I hope it gets better! Maybe if you tell them you’re going to deactivate they’ll be more willing to work with you? It’s in their best interest to keep you as a sister and work out some way for it to work for you instead of having you deactivate. I know that in my sorority, you can deactivate and then within a certain number of years reactivate as an alum, so if you decide to deactivate keep in mind that you can still come back to the sisterhood if you choose to join an alum chapter or something. I’m sorry that your sisters have been less than supportive, but maybe they need time to grow up a little and realize that at some point people start having other priorities (especially if they’re younger they might not realize it yet).

 

@kafir:  “Seriously thought that I would have a chance to have girlfriends finally – but I sadly didn’t join the right sorority.”

I hear this from a whole bunch of girls who join some of the houses on my campus. I honestly wish they could do something about changing the cultures within their respective houses, because it makes me sad to see friends deactivate or become disillusioned with the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong…there’s still drama at my house, but overall we’re a more ‘sisterly’ group of girls than some of the houses on my campus. My ex-roommate would actually come home from chapter crying because the rest of the girls would say hateful things about her outfits. Another friend from freshman year was told right after initiation that all of the sisters had wished she had depledged during the new member period (she was not the only one in her pledge class who was told this either). It’s really sad to see friends go through that, and I honestly wish that enough people would stand up to the mean girls so that they could change the culture of their houses. 🙁

Post # 114
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

goodasitgets – I definitely agree! I know I had my choice between two sororities and I wish sometimes I would have chose the other one because those girls really SEEMED to have a good connection and a friendly atmosphere. In the one I went with, we had a few of the senior members that were lesbians and the rest of the seniors didn’t like them. It caused a huge split. For the most part, there was a lot of gay-bashing because the senior members who didn’t like them were the officers so everyone wanted to please them. Anyway, it upset me when some of the girls who were friendly to their face, talked bad about them being gay behind their backs. So I said something. So most of the girls hated me for that. Then I really struggled with alcoholism and I tried to keep that from them, because I know there was some dangerous and disgusting stuff going on(like girls helping the frat boys rape, seriously =/). When my ex came along, it was a nice relief. Then of course they hated me because I was serious with him instead of going to the frat houses with them… ugh! Anyway, it’s SO sad how much bullying and plain hatred goes on in some sororities. They have an opportunity for women to establish lasting friendships… but it’s all too often wasted.

Post # 114
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

2PeasinaPod:  It’s complete bullshit that all fees and dues are upfront to new members. Maybe in your sorority, but definitely not mine. I have been hit with so many hidden fees that are not mentioned or  explained in the member contracts, we are not given a fee schedule, and trying to ask any of the other older members to explain where this money is going and for what is a completely useless endeavor. So no, the annoying part is not having girls drop because they can’t afford it, it’s being faced with fees you can’t afford that you weren’t told about, after you’ve been initiated and paid for a pin and clothing and everything else, and then they want all of that stuff back that you rightfullly paid for out of your own pocket and they don’t reimburse you for it. Coming from someone who pays for school and the sorority by myself with no help from parents like every other girl in my house has, that is the part that is extremely annoying.

Post # 115
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

I love my sorority- I loved my time in college, it made college the most amazing experience. yes, it’s expensive, but you should know that when you go into it- we would discuss financials with potential new members during rush. it has opened so many doors for me in my career, and moving across the country and getting invovled with an alumni chapter helped me get to know people,  and my sororoity sisters are still my best friends, we have been friends for almost 15 years!

I do think your greek experience has to do a lot with your school, both where I went and where my sister went were big greek schools- it was part of the culture. I’m sorry you are having a bad experience, but look into going inactive, talk to your chapter president. I don’t remember the chapter making anyone return anything but their pin- but that was only if they were deactivitating- not just going inactive.

Post # 117
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Can’t you just stop going?  

Post # 118
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This thread is 3 years old…

Post # 119
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

What ended up happening? I’m really interested to know. Did national do anything for you?

Post # 120
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee

Fell victim to the old thread thing.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  mangosandcats.

The topic ‘I signed my life away to this f-ing sorority,’ is closed to new replies.

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