- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
So, there is some recent drama with my grandmother and I. I got sick of her constantly putting me down, belittling me and I am still mad about the JOP which she insists is lovely but only because I moved the damn ceremony a hour after it was supposed to start.
I did it. I finally snapped.
So,I was deciding against the Vow Renewal and we were going to wait blah blah blah until my husband turned to me pretty hurt I was going to cancel it. He told me the reasons why he wanted the VR, it wasn’t so much for me as it was that he felt like he let his family down. His grandmother wasn’t there, no one knew about the wedding until AFTER it was done and he felt like after 10 years of being together that we should have had a normal wedding and not something rushed. I realized something. I was wrong. I was the one to convince him to the JOP ceremony because I was pressured by others. I was the one who moved the wedding to accomodate MY family who couldn’t bother to go to my fiance’s house where his mom worked really hard to make a great barbecue for us. I was the one who cheated his grandmother of seeing her favorite grandson get married. We have to have the VR because I owe it to him.
So, I got back into plans of VR. Have it at a beach or wedding? What colors? What food? It was kind of fun but I still felt like I didn’t have my family’s approval. I talked to my mom who surprisngly enough didn’t approve of the VR until after we were married. Seeing her cry as she left made me realize that this was her daughter’s wedding day and she was cheated of many things because my grandmother couldn’t get her ass into gear. I get a call from my grandmother full of disapproval about having it. I was close to tears when finally I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Look, you don’t have to go. I wouldn’t want you there.”
“What?” she said “This VR is about sincerity of my husband and I and if you don’t feel that way. Don’t go. I don’t want you there if you are going to gripe about having it. People know how you feel and if those people choose not to go because of your complaints well..good riddance. I am sick of your judgement, your putting me down and your disapproval of something that YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO DO. I accomodated you for the wedding, I moved the ceremony so you could be there. You disrespected me, my husband, my mom and my husband’s family and you aren’t going to do this anymore. If you want to help me fine help, if you want to support me I love it. If you aren’t going to do that. Beat it. “
“I bet your husband’s parents are helping you pay for it.”
That’s when I SNAPPED
“First off I suggest you keep your ignorant mouth shut because it is obvious you don’t know anything about what my husband and my finances are. If you must know we are paying for it. We have been saving up for it and we are having it. His parents don’t enter into the equation. Yes they have helped us before in the past but you have no say in that because I have not once asked for anything, not your support or a damn dime unlike everyone else. Like I said before you could either be a good grandmother and support my decision or you could be an unwelcomed guest and stay at home, your decision “
I know I was rude to her but I just snapped.