(Closed) I snooped in my fiances texts and found msgs to his ex…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

HIS texts sound innocent, as many have said – but you didn’t say anything about HER texts – were there none? That would seem very odd – as if they had been deleted.

The reason I ask is because we’ve been through kind of a similar situation, but in that case, the ex (their relationship, not marriage, ended 10 years ago) would send texts and write FB comments that were very flirty and constantly referring to things they had done together and making presumptions about what good “buddies” they still are. When she found out we were engaged, she even wrote him an email castigating him for not sharing that info with her first. (???).

He didn’t even reply to that message, and any messages he has replied to he has been friendly but very matter-of-fact and not at all flirty. I see his interactions with her as innocent, but hers are skanky and disrespectful of me.

I wouldn’t hassle him about it at all – but I would keep a close eye on her. If her messages to him cross the line, I would definitely point it out to him and tell him how uncomfortable she makes you, and ask that he cut off or at least down on any interactions with her.

If her messages are totally innocent as well, I don’t think you have a thing to worry about.

Post # 93
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

No but honestly if he isn’t flirting with her or doing anything dirty, I’d say it’s nothing to worry about. Maybe slip into a conversation perhaps if you’re uncomfortable about it. But other than that it isn’t something to stress yourself over about.

Post # 94
Member
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@Mrs. Camel:  +1

This! Fiance and I have the same relationship! If you aren’t hiding anything, why does it matter at all? While we don’t do this on any kind of regular basis, occasionally one of us gets bored and starts messing with the other’s phone. It’s not a big deal. The only time that emails are off limits is Christmas and birthdays. Also, Fiance isn’t allowed to see my sisters texts or some facebook messages right now because I have sent pictures of potential wedding dresses. In those cases, we explicitly state what not to go through and why.

While I respect others views on privacy, I just don’t get it.

Post # 96
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@Ariadne:  Exactly. I get very suspicious of people (men and women) who claim all their exes were crazy or evil.

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