(Closed) I snooped. Where to go from here?

posted 4 years ago in Christian
Post # 76
71 posts
Worker bee

Wait wait wait.

This is slightly left of the topic but I think others have covered that well enough.

Isn’t it normal to gain weight when you’re pregnant?!?! Because like, the human child you are growing has to contain weight?
So why are you so concerned about the weight you’ve put on? Isn’t that totally normal baby weight? Why do you feel bad about it? 

Post # 77
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

oflemin1:  start your own thread for this rather than inserting it in someone else’s thread and you will get responses. This falls under “threadjacking”

Post # 78
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Mrslovebug:  sweetie, you should never apologize for being insecure about YOUR body, especially your pregnant body.. I commend how you have handled this, so level headed, and so calmly. I personally wouldn’t mind my husband watching porn or whatnot, but because its in the rules of your relationship, I think you handled this situation incredibly well. However, I agree with pp’s on how you should not allow him to put the blame on you and your pregnant body. You are carrying his child, and every single woman gains weight in order to do so. I haven’t seen you before, but I hope you know that you are beautiful. We don’t need to see you to tell you this <3. 

Post # 79
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

It sounds like this is a very classic example of actions speaking louder than words–he “agreed” to the strict rules you set “together”, but did he perhaps only do this because he thought he should or had to?

Admittedly, I can be off the mark here, but these types of actions sound like someone who is living a double life of sorts–like he’s pretending to be the Good Christian Husband because that’s who you want him to be and who he thinks he has to be, but his actions: getting drunk and laughing about being hungover with his buddies, watching porn on a regular basis, etc….to me that looks like someone who wants no part of the same rigid lifestyle you want.

I’d have a long talk with him if I were you and see if he’s still truly interested in the strict lifestyle your faith commands, or if these behaviors are his way of ‘running away’.

Post # 80
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

It’s fine to have your rules and religious beliefs. The trouble starts when your spouse doesn’t share the same morals and it seems like that is what the problem is here. You have NUMEROUS rules and it can be hard not to break some since there are so many. 

Blaming your pregnancy weight gain was awful and uncalled for. 

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