(Closed) I Spazed On My Mom's Doctor

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I definitely would have been angry too. It is completely inappropriate for a doctor to say things like that. I’d probably have reported her to the head doctor at the practice.

Sorry you had such a bad experience and especially that now your mum will try to hide it even more.

Post # 3
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

You did the right thing. Find a new doctor for your mother!

Post # 4
837 posts
Busy bee

Losing you temper is always unfortunate because of the ill effects to you… Entirely justified in this case… I’m sure you can find a more professional doctor.

Post # 5
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

As far as the blowout with the doctor, I’m sure the doctor has experienced that sort of thing before. It just comes with the territory of interacting with people in that type of work. Still, if you feel like it was a bit much, it would be appropriate to apologize for the behavior even if you disagree with the doctor’s assessment. 

Maybe you can frame it for your mom as a second opinion rather than changing doctors, which may seem too drastic to her. She’s her own person, so even though you mean well, she has to make these decisions for herself. 


Post # 6
5052 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
seraphina :  I’m shocked that your mother’s doctor would say those things considering her lab work and the severity of her illness. I think you did the right thing to question her advice and commentary to her face. Even if she was trying to make your mum feel less worried, down playing lab results is definitely a no no.

Your mum does need to change to a doctor who is better equipped to help manage her illness but unfortunately she has to do it on her own. You know the saying you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink…. Your mum is an adult and as much as you push her to find a doctor she hascthe right to do as she wishes. Maybe sit down and calmly explain how worried you are but use emotive language. Good luck and I hope your mum gets her illness in control.   

Post # 7
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think you’re totally justified. Has she been able to see a nutritionist at all? I know in a flare they recommend a low residue diet. I imagine if she was able to digest boost, she’d be drinking it. I’m sorry bee. It’s a Terrible disease. Hopefully a new doctor and the right meds will get her healthy again.

Post # 8
731 posts
Busy bee

my mouth is hanging open that the doctor acted this way!

I agree with others, do all you can to get you mom to a new doctor! wow.

Post # 9
2026 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

That doctor’s behavior is totally inappropriate, so no, you definitely weren’t wrong! Echoing PPs’ suggestions to find a new doctor as well as a nutritionist who specialize in GI issues/your mom’s condition.

Post # 10
4839 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Very few things get me to snap. I can’t say I blame you in this case at all. I hope you follow up with the governing body for physicians in your area and maybe contact your local patient advocate. Hoping your mom recovers soon as well. 

Post # 12
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would also report this doctor to the medical board, this is extremely inappropriate and a breach of ethical code

Post # 13
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
seraphina :  as a doctor myself I am horrified that she said these things to your mother. Absolutely get a second opinion and I also agree with PP saying to report this inappropriate management to either the head of the practice or whatever channel you have where you are from to report doctors. (I would say try and start locally at the practice and if you aren’t satisfied your complaint has been actioned appropriatelu, take it higher to region or medical board) 

Post # 14
456 posts
Helper bee

 I absolutely don’t blame you for going off on this doctor. What she said was horrific and disgusting. Your mom might have responded better if you had brought up your concerns after the appointment rather than during – by which I mean, she might be worried about your health during your pregnancy so seeing you get so stressed out in front of her might have her worried that she’s adding too much to your plate with her illness and so she just wants to sweep everything under the rug. On the other hand, if you hadn’t brought up your concerns to her doctor’s face, your mom might have later just been like “she’s a doctor, she must know better than google” so there’s just no easy way to go in this situation. For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. My worry with people like this doctor is that they go through life thinking everyone agrees with them – you’re now proof that’s categorically untrue.

As PP said, it’s ultimately up to your mom on whether she’s willing to go to another doctor. You can bring up your worries but she’s your mom and it kind of sounds like she feels like she’s stressing you out too much and that she doesn’t want to add onto that, not realizing that she’s your mom so of course you want nothing but health and long life for her. Maybe she also just isn’t quite ready to face the severity of her illness yet? I’m sorry your family is having to go through this. It’s an awful situation and I hope things get better for your mom soon.

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