(Closed) I stuck my big a** foot in my mouth.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yikes…. I think you need apologize again both to you DH’s friend and your Darling Husband. Not sure what else you can do.

Post # 4
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@figgnewton:  *HUGS* I really have no idea as to what you can say/do.  I know it’s easy to let things slip out when we’re in a bad mood/not feeling our best, but this may just be one of those life lessons about badmouthing someone behind their back.  I’m not sure how A might take an appology after what you said, maybe ask your Darling Husband about it because he’d know him better, and then go from there.  Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would just apologize again and maybe your Darling Husband could do damage control. Sorry 🙁

Post # 6
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

Damn. That sucks. I have no idea what you can do, but I have also put my foot in my mouth. It sucks! But time heals all wounds…

Post # 8
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all slip up from time to time, it’s how we act AFTER we hurt someone that counts.

…you must have been in such a BAD mood right then….that one little slip of the lips has literally earned you a three way apology, where not only do you apologize to A for bad mouthing his cousin AND putting him in an awkward spot, you also owe your husband a mea culpa and might want to do a little damage control with B, dislike her all you want…talking badly about her behind her back and poking fun at her antics is the stuff of school girls and bullies and is so unbecoming a lady….I’m sure you are such a lovlier person than that.

Do not text A, you need to call him and apologize, let him know you are so sorry, that what you said was uncalled for and you plan to turn over a new leaf with B.  

You certainly do not have to be best friends with her, but you at least owe her a second chance if she’s part of your social group, try meeting up for coffee or something small and see if you two can at least find a way to be civil, if she’s not that big of a part of your group, be sure to include her the next time you have a party or gathering, A will appreciate it.

And from now on, just remind yourself how very awful you feel, so that the next time you are tempted to have fun at someone else’s expense, recall how difficult it is to recify saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. 

Post # 9
Member
7760 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You put your foot in it.

BUT… I never approve of making fun of people you know behind their back. When Darling Husband did that, it was wrong. If Darling Husband is going to make fun of B behind her back, then sooner or later it was going to come out. Darling Husband had it coming.

Darling Husband needs to apologise to A as well. And possibly also to B.

Post # 10
Member
8369 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wow sounds like you and your friends are not very nice. Especially since you don’t seem sorry at all for talking nasty about someone but just that you got caught.

Personally I think you should apologise to A and to B. A has probably already told B that you and your friends talk smack about her, especially about such a petty thing as her appearance and hitting on someone (I mean haven’t most of us hit on someone at sometime in our life?).

He probably is also wondering what you all say behind his back.

How would you feel if you found out people were talking like this about you especially when the things they are picking on are quite juvenile? You wouldn’t like it much would you? it would make you feel bad about yourself?

Post # 11
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

You definitely need to call A and apologize again, but you reallly just have to let it blow over. You should try not to bad mouth anyone in the future because you never know how it will be received

Post # 13
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@figgnewton: Implying that riding next to B would be worse than your dog is definitely badmouthing her and so was the “Well I thought no one liked her” comment.  Both of those would be extremely hurtful comments if you said them to her face, and I know this from experience because I’ve had people say similar things to me and behind my back.  However, I also was in grade school and high school when most of those comments were made.  Has it not occurred to all of you how childish it is to talk about people this way?  It’s a form of bullying. I was a victim of bullying my entire childhood and it hurts, but never so much as when it comes from people who you THOUGHT (key emphasis on “thought”) were your friends!  If B doesn’t dress appropriately, maybe someone should give her some discreet advice on that matter and help her get better outfits instead of making fun of her behind her back.  A REAL friend would do that, but B doesn’t seem to have any, at least not in this situation.  My heart really goes out to B.

Post # 14
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would be so pissed at you if I was your partner! Conversations between couples are private and should be treated as such. You didn’t embarrass yourself, you embarrassed him and made him look like a total a hole

Post # 15
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am confused by the title. Putting your foot in your mouth generally means a situation like telling your female friend you think yellow gold jewelry is tacky and only after saying it do you realize she’s wearing some. Or asking a woman when she’s due and discovering she’s not pregnant. Awkward and hurtful yes. Intentional, no. Telling someone, you know we all hate your cousin and talk shit about her and your best friend is frequently the ringleader is not the same thing at all. I can’t believe it came as a surprise to you that A didnt really appreciate his friends treating his cousin that way.

there’s nothing you can do. Your husband owes A and B an apology. This friendship may not be fixable depending on how close A is to B.

Post # 16
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@Yellwill:  +1

Not to mention broke his trust. There are lots of things I say to my Fiance that I don’t intend to ever be repeated. I would be extremely angry if I was in his shoes. You owe him an apology and space to forgive and trust you again in his own time. 

What you said, regardless of whatever mood you use to justify it was plain mean. It says more about you than the girl you were talking smack about. Why you would ever think it would be okay to say such a thing to a relative of hers is beyond me. 

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