I suck at life right now [vent]

posted 6 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 47
808 posts
Busy bee

Oof, that steak story reminds me…

While I was dating my Darling Husband, I met his parents for the first time on July 4th. They had smoked their own pulled pork, made their own sauce, everything. Everyone was raving about how good it was gonna be. So we sit down to dinner, I take my very first bite, and start choking on it. The piece was really fatty so it got stuck half way down. I didn’t want to make a scene or let anyone know I was choking, so I had to silently and stealthily  regurgitate and spit out the piece, praying that no one would notice. Dh had saw me spitting it out, and my face at that moment must’ve looked horrified too, because he leaned over and said: “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t like it” Aaagh. I told him what happened later, and we still both laugh about it. It was really good BBQ, even if I was scared to eat it after that. 

Post # 48
872 posts
Busy bee

It’s ok, OP. I’ve done soooo many stupid things. I’m the laughing stock of my family

-I was in a rush to get to work one day so I was going faster than I should have driving behind some slow poke. So I admit I was tailgating the person in front of me…they finally pulled off the road and I happily sped up. Well. Turns out it was an undercover cop. I didn’t pull over immediately because I at the time somehow didn’t think it was me they were pulling over because I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong so I kept driving for a few miles. Well. He called for backup. So two cops pulled me over. I’d had my license for 3 days. I apologized profusely and told them I’m sorry I’m just really dumb. They didn’t challenge that.

-I burned my shirt in a microwave. Didn’t even think to use a dryer 🤦🏻‍♀️

– Almost put a battery-operated coffee thermos in the dishwasher. My dad stopped me with that one

-Accidentally drove on the wrong side of the road and almost hit traffic head on. I was again a new driver

-Plowed my car into a snow bank. In my own driveway. And the ass of the car was so long it was blocking traffic on the corner

This all happened years and years ago and I will never ever make those mistakes again. As sad as it is, I never intended to do anything stupid, I was just really that clueless. I take safety very seriously and would never endanger anyone ever on purpose and I’m glad those things are in the past. But now that it’s been a long time, I can look back and find some humor in it


Post # 50
159 posts
Blushing bee

ispeakingifs :  Haha, we’ve all been there. 

Over the Christmas period we went out to dinner with my husband’s gran and brother, we planned on going over to DH’s dad’s place after so we were going to drive there with my Brother-In-Law. There ended up being a terrible thunder/lightening storm, which I’m terrified of. I switched off everything electrical and we decided to stay at our place that night and go to my in-laws in the morning. Silly me forgot to switch the fridge/freezer back on and came home 4 days later (New year’s morning at like 1am) to a horrid smell and all our meat off 😭 my husband was livid to say the least. 

Post # 51
3408 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’ve left my hair straightener on during the day at 410 degrees so many times that we bought a freaking wifi enabled outlet plug. So now I have an app on my phone that I can use to turn it off while I’m at work, when I’m panicking about how my dog is probably dead from a hair appliance fire.

That’s how ridiculous this situation is. Why can’t I manage to just turn it off before I go to work? The world may never know. There are literally burn marks on my parent’s hardwood floor, in my childhood bedroom, from when I would do the same thing when I was in high school! With the same damn straightener, might I add. If you’re ever in the market for a flat iron, my Sedu has been going strong for 12 years and has never started a fire despite ample opportunity!

Also, you have a great excuse to never cook again. There’s your upside. “Sorry can’t. I’m an insurance liability. Want to order some pasta?” 🤷‍♀️

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