- 5 years ago
I really need help with this. I tend to “stuff down my emotions” as my mother likes to say. I hate talking about how I’m feeling, I hate crying, and I hate dealing with stuff. I’d just rather … not. And that works out just fine and dandy for me. I don’t feel like it hinders me at all, and I don’t really hold onto stuff forever. I just don’t deal with it and it goes away.
It is not working out so well for my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. He bought a ring in December, was planning on proposing and then we kinda fell out of the “puppy love” stage and got dumped into the “shit this is actually happening, lets make sure we’re actually ready for this” stage. We started reading pre-marriage books where he discovered…
… I fucking hate talking about my fucking feelings.
Pardon my French, but it’s been a source of unrest between us for about a month.
I’m just not a talking about feelings person. Particularly BAD or UNHAPPY feelings. I’m fine with the lovey dovey cuddly feelings. I just don’t like acknowledging that things aren’t fine and dandy. I kind of like living in a happy relationship bubble and ignoring the shit out of everything else.
He’s completely open and talks about how he feels about our relationship, even if hurts, and I’m just not good at that. I just kind of sit there wishing the talk would be over.
I don’t know when or why I started doing this, I honestly didn’t even realize it until both my mother and boyfriend said something (separately) about it. He just wants me to talk and talk and talk and I just don’t. want. to. It’s not like a conscious effort to not talk, it’s like I have some sort of mental block against it. Like the words just won’t come out.
Any advice Bees? I’m really trying to save my relationship here, and I’d hate for this to be where it ends. We went from being happy to standing at a crossroads where we either say goodbye or fix this shit. This obviously isn’t our only issue, but it’s the only one that I have control over.
Thanks for any advice…