(Closed) I swear I will do it! … … Only I am a little scared and need some advice…

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hmm… the only thing is that he’s under the impression you don’t want kids, and he’s with you still, so he may not want kids either. And that’s a dealbreaker so get that sorted out before you propose.

 

Post # 5
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i think you should go for it, in the first part of the post you stated we have a modern society now so why can’t a woman propose, although it is lovely to be propsed to, i suggest you don’t just hint about things, his best friend seem to be a good approach, and his mother, maybe talking to these women might even lead to them telling him.. that you are now ready for this. 

good luck in your decision on what to do, my only question is what type of man is he, would he be offened by ‘the woman proposing’ i think a few men would be, if your wouldn’t go for it 

 

Post # 6
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

Don’t tell anyone not his mother or best friend, he should be the first person you ask!! 

Good luck to you!!

Post # 7
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Vlcatko: Only I never told anyone, not even my Boyfriend or Best Friend, that I have changed my mind about marriage and kids.

That’s the part that made me think he didn’t know (I skimmed). I would definitely feel it out first but I agree if he’s the type to appreciate being proposed to then go for it, good luck!

p.s. love the ring

Post # 8
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with the PP. If you propose now, out of the blue, you are asking him to spend a lifetime with you and he may say “yes”, not knowing that you have changed your mind and want kids now. I never recommend ANYONE (male or female) to propose to someone that they have not first talked openly and honestly with about they both want from their future together. Proposing to him before having this conversation seems like the totally wrong way to do things and could lead to either forcing him to have kids when he had got settled and happy with the idea of not or it could lead to you realising, once engaged, that it isn’t going to work out as you have different expectations. I bet he’d say yes right now because he thinks your expectations are the same as his but since they have changed, it would be dishonest to propose to him having only given him half of the picture of what marrying you might entail. I’d talk first. A big, long, serious (scary) talk. And then propose if you feel it is still the right thing to do, and you will have my full backing and support and sharing of ideas then. I know this isn’t the answer you hoped for but please consider what I have said as I have your best interests at heart and I think this will help to solidify your relationship as an engaged couple. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

Oh, if he knows you want kids, for sure, then go for it!!!!

Post # 10
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Do it! It soundsl ike you have had relationship talks and discussed a future together so I don’t think you will be asking out of the blue and 11 years is a long time to be together. Good luck.

I don’t think you should talk to anyone about it beforehand, completely surprise him.

Post # 11
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Propose away! No need to ask anybody else. You should know him enough by now to know whether he will be open to the idea of being proposed to or not. If you do not know that yet just by knowning him yourself, then continue to get to know him more till you have that answer.

Why should you need anyone’s permission for this very intimate and romantic gesture? His best friend and mom should find out right after from him.

And this is for the PPs who are NOT reading the OP’s post and yet commenting… Umm… before giving an opinion, why don’t you take the time to READ what the OP wrote? She took the time to write it. The least we can do is give her the dignity of reading what she had to say before commenting on it.

Post # 13
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I lveo the rings you chose!!  So beautiful! 

 

Post # 14
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Good luck! πŸ™‚ That’s a great ring!

Post # 15
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That ring is beautiful!  I think proposing is a lovely idea! When is your 11th anniversary?

The topic ‘I swear I will do it! … … Only I am a little scared and need some advice…’ is closed to new replies.

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